January 2, 2016 Saturday (12:04 am)
I was just kneeling in my bedtime prayer and as I was giving thanks I was told to write, so without finishing I got up and am beginning to breathe to help create the flow of connection…
“Yes, My son, I would speak with thee as ye are of a mind of gratitude, and having some lightness of thought, and of some jovial spirit; and in this ye are blessed to be of a lightness of heart and to be of good cheer. Be of this, and as ye mean no harm, ye are of the blessings of the Heavens. For as ye come unto Me, be of a goodness that none could doubt of whom thou art. Be of a goodness that builds people and loves people ye serve. Be ye therefore patient with the view of this and ye will be in the bosom yet of God. Know these things as ye are blessed and ye will be of the goodness of heart that knows love. Oh ye of the faith, know that a sour face is for those that are of a question of faith. And ye that are of the Spirit shine forth as ye love and serve. Oh blessed children, enjoy thy service and be of good cheer even as ye learn all things.”
Just a note… I came home from being out and working with the missionaries. As we were out visiting some families we started having some fun and having some lightness of spirit. So when I came home and knelt in my bedtime prayer I still had that lightness even as I prayed. And thus the Lord blessing my lightness of heart.
January 5, 2016 Tuesday (1:39 am)
I am just going to bed after falling asleep earlier in the evening. As I woke up I was full of energy so I re-packed my 72 hour kit into a new backpack, something I have been wanting to do for weeks. So going to bed late and while I was getting up from my knees, after my bedtime prayer I heard, “Write.” As I asked for confirmation, I immediately received, “Yes, write My son.” I am a little apprehensive because I have been in a slight or mild struggle for the last several days. I have been having feelings of unworthiness as I ask myself, “Am I fulfilling my callings?”, and “Am I being bold enough?” A couple of days ago the Lord lead me to a scripture in 3 Nephi of the Book of Mormon, as He was giving a sermon, after He descended from Heaven, He was speaking to the remaining people, after great destruction and He was teaching them about not hiding their light under a bushel… This is my continual struggle of how much do I share and reveal in my efforts to further His work, for us to believe and be prepared. This is hard for me because I fear the judgments of the church members and leaders, as they might think that I am just trying to build myself up. If they only truly knew me they would quickly realize that my natural nature is to hide. I get feeling so weighted down with my own expectations of responsibility, and this is where I have been the last few days. Well, more feelings of guilt as I am keeping the Lord waiting… breathing for the Spirit of clarity and His words…
“Oh yes, My son, I would speak with thee as ye struggle in thy worth, worth of self and worth of leadership/callings, as ye seek Me in thy diminished spirit and confidence. For as ye even wonder of thy worthiness and strength. Do ye not even know thy worth? Do ye not know thy gift cherished? Can ye not see that ye were gifted with such a gift because of thy worth? For how many people hear, as ye hear Me speak? How many saints know My word, even as ye? For ye Question and I say unto thee, ‘Behold the truth of thy glory.’ Can ye not see the robes of shining white? And ye know that is, what is to be, and ye have even witnessed this ‘future self’ in his glory and worthiness. Even thy wounded child became of a submission into pain because of this very view.
Oh My son of the morning, that is of a wounded doubt. Ye question thy worth and in this ye are buffeted. For the very jaws of hell open for thee, wanting thee, and it is because of thy humble prayer of asking for purification and strength that allows Me to open and come unto thee. For My son know this, that ye are loved and is it not because of thy very worth that the Heavens are unveiled? So cast off thy doubt and look to the Heavens, and feel the light of love radiate the truth of thee and thy calling. Cast off the buffetings of threat as, he who fights against Me, uses his tricks of fear to distract thee. For ye know the truth of this as ye are being accustom of the buffetings of showmanship as he insights fear and disturbance. Ye now know of his ways, and ye are left to wonder as his minions poke at thee and chide thee with the barbs of worth and doubt. For thy know your weakness and the most vulnerable of thy soul to catch thee off guard and throw thy balance, to even deter thy work. For even tonight as ye were looking to Spirit for the blessing, did not the Spirit come forth in thy love for the dear sister. For the mind can be buffeted , but the heart knows the truth of such a love. For allow the light of thy worth to shine through as ye know the truth of what is to be. For let thy robes shine brightly as a beacon to this very self that is in the mists of turmoil. See he who stands strong before thee and know the truth of such a gift. Shine brightly My son and guide thyself home. So be of good cheer as ye are in the very pressure of the refining that makes thee shine even as a diamond; from carbon to light and from dust to perfection. Ye are mine and I claim thee, with the very doubt that causes thee to wonder. Fear not My son and love again, and as ye do thy light will dispel the very darkness that is come for thee. Shine brightly My son, shine. Shine for him that is even you.”
Just to let you know… in this writing there was mention of the blessing of a ‘dear sister.’ This woman and her husband that just moved here seeking refuge after losing everything in the Nepal earthquake. She was sick and so the Elders and myself went over and gave her a priesthood blessing. As I was blessing her the Spirit was present and His words were spoken. Also when the Lord is speaking of my ‘future self’ He is referring to an earlier experience where my future self, dressed in priesthood robes of white, came to me and administered to me. Since that experience the Lord has referred to it on several occasions as a source of strength for me. And as he was mentioning the child of my youth, he is speaking of another earlier experience recorded in the blog, I was working with a part of the abused child that had split off, that I was trying to get reunited with myself. The child was adamantly resisting going back into the pain of his childhood, and as I was struggling to make this union, the Lord appeared and took the young boy by the hand and led him to a short distance where I saw the Lord kneel beside my little boy and pointing towards the view my future. It was then, that part of me willingly submitted to the very pain that made him split off and leaving me fragmented.
I am so very thankful for the Heavens and Their continued patience, love and support as I am growing into those shining priesthood robes.
January 9, 2016 Saturday (7:00 am)
I woke up before my alarm and as I was reaching and turning off my alarm I quietly whispered thanks to the Father, in which I heard, “Write My son.” I am breathing for clarity of the Spirit…
“Oh My son, I hear your prayer of hope for the Spirit of clarity and the flow of My words and I say unto thee, ‘Fear not and be of a strength of knowing that the love of God is upon you and for you even in your weakness of strength and focus.’ For ye are still learning the discipline of mind, the heart is still upon Me even as ye are in fear of thy weakness. For as you continue to grow unto Me ye will grow into a strength of each. Press on My son and ye will be blessed with the strength that ye desire. Fear not your lack of focus, for even as ye experience this lack ye know not the unseen about thee giving thee influence of confusion and strength. For the forces of good, and of he who fights against Me are both pulling for thee. And in this is the focus made weak, and in this weakness ye have support. For continue to be of a heart that desires Me and ye shall be made strong in thy devotion.
For My son can ye not see how all is working for the favor of My work? Can ye not see the beauty of the word and the work coming forth into fruition? Even as ye get work that ye have desired ye have an element of dysfunction that wants to deny and downplay the fruition, when people are involved. A part of that same internal part that does not feel fully satisfied to win at games with others. Beware of this and discredit not the Spirit and will manifested to the hopes of wanting to save another. For as ye begin to see that all is working for the greater good ye will be less apt to fall into such a mindset of thy past. Can ye not see the hand of God working to fulfill the desires of service? So be ye therefore joyful and know the beauty of thy service. For as ye continue to be a mouthpiece of service, ye will grow into thy strength and be ye therefore strong in thy convictions. For ye are still young in thy growth and service, and ye are still managing the weaknesses of thy youth as they come into interference. But be strong and know that they will dissipate, in time, as ye have experience upon experience of that which is building, even that which will seem as an opposition will build thee in character and strength. Be ye therefore strong and focused unto Me and ye will be given the word and the way and in this ye will be blessed. So press forward in an attitude of strength and let the humbleness that still clothes thee in ash cloth be ever present, that ye might know the balance of thy strength. For blessed art the meek and humble even as they are in the strength of their selves made pure. And blessed art thee, My son, that ye should be of both that ye might serve thy Lord and God, the Master of All, even Jesus Christ. Oh blessed son be of good cheer, even as ye face that which ye fear, the speaking of My word to the peoples of thy community. For even in this ye shall be made strong. Therefore focus on Me and ye shall be blessed with the strength of Spirit. For see ye this that all things work for the goodness of man and the work to glorify the Father through this glorious work of redemption and salvation. Be ye of good cheer and know that ye are blessed.”
January 12, 2016 Tuesday (5:19 am)
I woke up in a half state of consciousness with random thoughts floating through my mind. As I was in this stupor I heard a clear, “Write, My son, I would speak with thee.” I questioned after going back into that semi-conscious state and then coming back out I heard again, “Yes, write.” As I write this the fog is lifting from my mind as I begin to breathe and pray for the Spirit. Breathing for the flow to begin…
“Oh blessed son, I come unto thee to whisper My love and to say unto thee, ‘Thy prayers for thy fellow servants have been answered.’ For My love is about them as they settle into their new callings. For as they serve Me with their hearts I send forth Mine angels and Spirit to abide with them. For this love which ye and My servant felt is the love of the Heavens, and ye were blessed to have such a love that binds and blesses the souls to feel of such a compassion. For with this is the bond of brotherhood felt, and with this is the link into the eternities; blessed are you both to feel of such.
Oh My son, as ye have prayed for forgiveness and direction concerning your anger towards your employee. Asking if it was justified and I say unto thee, ‘There is righteous admission of disappointment, and there is an anger of the emotions that is flared of the past unspoken resentment, and it unto these that I speak.’ For as ye are of the fire of anger I say unto thee, ‘The fire that erupts is because of the combined intentions of resentment.’ For as ye feel the cause as employer and she feels the cause as employee, both with unspoken resentments, that have been unspoken and are now being acted upon and acted out. For as she is of a nature to not speak her truth and you also are of the same nature to have peace abide. Can you now not see the wake of the unspoken, which is manifested into the actions of omission? Oh ye that speak not thy frustration, it is come unto this. For you were asking is your anger justified and I say unto you, ‘Yes. And is anger the way of teaching of the Spirit? And I would say, ‘Nay.’ For anger is the product of feelings of abuse or of a responsive protection of being violated on many levels. Therefore anger is explosive and responsive, and in this the Spirit does not reside. So be ye therefore careful to justify thy anger. Anger is the unidentified feelings of the past that comes into play in the mind and the emotions. For as ye feel this, it is mixed into the emotional field of a combined union. For she knows thy triggers and she is aware of her power, and in this is the unhealthy played out between both she and thyself. For even now ye wonder of a resolution and I say, ‘It is difficult to achieve such because there needs to be a level of honesty, which is hard to achieve in the workplace. So fear not, My son, ye have not this to endure long for ye are of the thinkings of a hell of the mind. And I say unto thee, ‘Endure this thing and ye will be blessed unto the outcome. Be strong in this for it is of a wisdom to disengage as the fire appears and be of a quiet nature of this to be an achieved blessing. Trust, My son, in these words and then ye will know peace. So endure this buffeting and ye will find the blessing. For behold thy blessing of hope is soon upon thee. Return, My son, to the love of the Spirit and reside in this, for in this ye can know the love and peace of God. For be of a split and reside in this and allow the situations of life to flow as ye abide in Me.
Blessed art thou son, even in thy anger and these feelings of justification. For your heart wants resolve over revenge. Be therefore of a clearness of action and ye will not fall into the trap before thee. See the buttons that are pushed and walk away. For ye will soon see the way made clear. Blessings, My son, be at peace, and know ye are loved.”
January 26, 2016 Tuesday (6:07 am)
I just woke up thinking that it was around 4:00 am and being concerned about going back to sleep. My worry is because of my schedule being thrown off due to my return last night from Dallas. Coming home from a week long buying trip for another local retail store that asked me to join their purchasing team for the week. So in this concern of the time and the need of my body for rest, as I was praying for sleep I heard, “Write My son, it has been some time and I would speak with thee.” I questioned for confirmation when I heard again, “Yes My son, I will bless thee.” One blessing is that as I was thinking it to be around 4:00 and after looking realized that it was 6:00 instead and I got a couple of more hours than I previously thought. Also I am so grateful to hear His command again because of the week of travel and missing penning His word. As I now breathe for the Spirit’s flow…
“Oh My son, it is in the favor of My command that My word is given unto thee as ye are in concern for thy wellbeing. And as it is spoken, so it will be, as ye are under the care and direction of the Spirit of love and grace. For as ye have been in your travels ye have had a heart unto Me and in this ye have been blessed with the confirmations of Spirit and awareness. For ye have had a heart of sweetness and love, a heart of offering as ye have sought the willingness to be of Me. Ye have been in the blessing of My love and in this is the unity of oneness. For have ye not sought the goodness of Spirit in all of your encounters, and have ye not seen Me in them and the openness of their lives as they opened up unto thee? For have ye not seen the good in them and received the charity of love? Oh My son, ye have glimpsed the view of the evolved soul of man. For as ye come forth unto Me it is of this view hat is of the nature of Spirit, and it is of this that is not just a glimpse but of a constant nature of the changed heart. And it is because of this very view that ye are blessed.
Oh My son, ye see the wisdom of the Heavens and in this is the good of man, and in this is the flow of love given, and opens thee to another way. Welcome this new thought pattern, open thy heart continuously unto it and it will serve thee in thy service and view of man. For just now in thy prayer for My word, ye willingly give thyself unto Me and it is of this that allows the oneness of Spirit to descend upon thee in all righteousness. For as ye are not perfect and are still of a nature of man… can ye not see thy progress? For as ye continue to discipline the mind and do the work, can ye not see that it allows the natural gateway for the Spirit to descend? And it allows the heart to open unto Me. Continue My son, be of this very practice of seeing the good and light in your encounters. And as ye do this, your heart and mind will be ever changed and ye will become of a nature of the Heavens. Worry not of thy weakness, but focus the will of love upon others and thyself. And in this, ye will be of a nature of the Heavens and ye will be of a transition of goodness that will help thee into the next. For as ye become even as this, ye will be of a mind to even abide in Me and We will be of a oneness of love. Seek Me in all that ye do, and as ye see Me in all that you encounter ye will then be a blessed man. For the gates of Heaven will open for thee and ye will then know no separation.
So My children of the world, practice this very thing, come unto Me in the goodness love. And as ye practice charity ye will know My love which will penetrate thy heart and soul with such purity, that the heart will seek only more of the sweetness of the Spirit, which is a oneness of the Heavens. And in this ye will know Me and through Me, ye will know the Father of All Love again. Offer thy heart and will unto this and ye will be of Me, and for Me, even as I am. Blessings My son, as ye go forth in this very love. Blessings as ye are even now of a heart of Me … of a gratitude of thy blessings.”
February 3, 2016 Wednesday (3:19 am)
I woke up still with my sore throat, amid the mix of uncertainty and the dry, scratchy feeling in my throat I heard a clear, “Write My son, I would speak with thee.” As I asked confirmation I heard, “Yes write and I will speak love from My heart.” I reach for the pen in gratitude as I begin to breathe to clear my mind…
“Yes My son, I would speak to thee for the time has been long and the heart needs the sound of My voice to know My love and My devotion to one who is in My heart and in the service of My will. Oh blessed son, ye can hear of My devotion to the good of man and the well-being of My children. For even as ye hear these words, ye can hear the sound of truth and the righteousness of a father’s love. For even as ye pen this the hearts of man have harden unto My ways, and the intentions of man is not of being My children, but unto being gods unto themselves. Can ye not feel the emptiness of heart as the world wars against one another? Can ye not know of the strife of a world gone mad, drunken on the wine of false truth and the lusts of their own ways? Oh ye world of man, awaken from thy stupor of drunken thought. Awaken from thy feelings of gluttony, being full of thyself. Awaken from thy selfish ways of the power of a false thinking. For even as ye stagger as the drunk of wine, ye stagger in the wine of false hopes and dreams. For ye dream of fame and fortune, ye dream of the wealth of pride and ye hope for the praise of man, but where is thy love of God? The love of the true God, thy Father in Heaven, which ye know not. Oh ye orphans of foolishness, ye know nothing of Me and yet I know everything of thee. Awaken, awaken and come into thy hearts to know Me again.
Oh My son, can ye not hear My own prayer of hope and love? And yet the angels of My labor, labor with such devotion, even as their truth is mostly unheard. For the truth of My word is in their hearts and they are attuned unto Me, but as of man he hears nothing. Can ye now hear My love and devotion? Can ye not now know My heart of love that calls forth unto a flock scattered by the wolves of unrighteousness and the lusts and wanderings of their own hearts? Oh ye that flock to the sounds of false gods, ye flock unto the truths of thy own voice and ye know not. Oh ye that can still hear Me in the clamoring of unrighteousness, know this… I cometh. And as the wars and rumors of wars, disease and pestilence, strife and heartache continue to plague thee and fulfill all My words of prophecy ye will begin to see this great divide that is clearing the way for My coming. And in this divide Mine angels will be of a work of dividing and clearing the wheat from the tares and in this they will find those that can still hear the soft pleas of My heart. And in this they will come unto the truth of not their own ways but unto the ways of right and truth, unto Mine own ways of righteousness and truth. For then the world gone mad will be ready for the glorious sounds of the trumpets and the devotional choruses of Mine angels, that sound the truth fulfilled, as Mine feet touch the praise of she that has waited in all holiness. For even as she awaits Me and I her, the mother of all creation is akin to Me again and all is fulfilled unto the righteousness that is. Oh ye man. Know of My love and awaken from the stupor of self drunkenness and know Me again. Know not the thoughts of thy own thinkings, but know the truth of all holiness and be blessed.
Oh My son, do ye not now know the love of devotion felt unto her (my cat) that has come to teach thee? Do ye not now know the depth of love unto the angel of fur? For is this not a love unto both? And now ye can glimpse the love of a parent for the child, and ye know the depths of desire for the well-being of such a love. And this is only a glimpse unto My heart that holds unto My children the great concern of desire. Oh My son, ye now know love true and are taken in such a love of the heart. Welcome unto the pure love of parenthood as ye care unto her with a devotion of the heart.
Oh praise of the Heavens, let thy voices sing forth of a devotion that is not heard unto man and let the sound of sweetness go forth to soften the hearts hardened unto their own ways. Oh choruses of angels awaken them that are lost in their own thinkings of fear and unworthiness, sing them back unto Me.
Now, My son, can ye not hear My words of love and know of My heart? Can ye not now know a prayer and hope of devotion? For this is My heart and in this is the love of the Father that sustains all life, and ye have been blessed to know even of this … blessed are ye.”
February 8, 2016 Monday (10:10 pm)
I am sitting at my desk at work paying bills as I hear, “Write My son, I would speak with thee.” I question and as I do a jolt moves through my body as I now hear, “The Heavens are open and ye have received the blessing of grace.” I relinquish my bills to be paid another night as I obey and get paper and pen. I am now breathing for the Spirit and flow…
“Oh My son, the Heavens are open and ye have witnessed the grace of God. For even as ye have seen thy dear sister, and friend, and so it is that she is called saint. And the love between the two unite through all eternity. For even as the Heavens of love have opened and ye witnessed that which is for and of the Spirit, ye have been blessed to see the realm of spirit with a knowingness of sight. And in this the love that awaited drew her forth in a state of raptured bliss of unification. For even as the body awaits so it is that the realm of spirit, and now participates in the union of love. For as she explained, so it is from person to person and soul to soul. For as one is not ready it is then that the spirit clings to the body, and then the body must then release and free the spirit. But in this cause, the daughter of love, rejoices in the union of love and leapt out of the body to be of such a union. For even as he came near she leapt with great faith and knowing of that which is and that which the spirit has awaited to be. Oh ye that are of such a spirit of love, ye are truly blessed.
Oh world of man, ye know not such a love because ye have not trusted in the arm of God and ye have sunken unto the depths of lowliness. But even as this sister is lifted up, it is now that she is likened unto the Heavens of Holiness. And she is at the joy of knowing, for such a witness, to be of such a blessing, to be of such a grace. Oh blessed sister of My heart, release into that grace which she has earned.
Oh My son, trust and know the glory of such things is the right unto salvation. Therefore, be ye therefore wise in these things that ye might be added upon in all things. Be ye of cheer as ye know the truth of these things and ye receive the witness of the world to come. And ye know of the spirit tethered to the body in a state of waiting, and in this ye experienced the joy of love united. Peace My son, as ye need to return to thy home to receive the rest needed. Labor not and rest… peace My son unto thee.”
February 10, 2016 Wednesday (6:06 am)
I just woke up after going to bed about 2:45 this morning, because earlier I fell sleep in front of the television. I sat down to watch the news, which I haven’t seen for quite awhile, and got sucked into watching more (feeling some guilt). As I woke I had an impression to write, but am still questioning because of the desire for the writings to be authentic and not self-fabricated. So as I questioned I heard a stronger “Write.” which tipped the scale of doubt. Pen now in hand as I am attempting to breathe through my guilt as I acknowledge my willingness to write even in my doubt. Breathing for Spirit…
“My son, My son thou thinkth that you are annoying Me, and in thy questioning and confused state offend Me, but it is in thee that is offended by thy actions of self. Of thy watching television unto falling asleep and then waking and watching more. It is to thy offense and the offense of the body that needs the rest. For as ye abuse the body it is of thee that ye offend and it is of consequence to which ye learn that the offense is against thyself. Therefore My son stop the clamoring of the mind and know that ye are loved even in thy most unwise choices.”
Now asking Father for forgiveness because of a wandering and distracted mind. Having a hard time staying focused and so that might be the end of this writing… my consequences realized.
February 11, 2016 Thursday (11:20 pm)
I was just getting ready to brush my teeth in preparing for bed when I heard, “Write My son, I would speak with thee.” I contemplated delaying the writing until I finished, and then flashed on my being rude to keep the Lord waiting, so I came directly to my bed for the pen and paper and am now breathing and praying for the Spirit and flow of words…
A jolt just went through me and I hear, “ My son, My son, it is upon the light of love that the Heavens shine on thee and it is in this light that ye should know that the word of God is in thee. For as a man cometh before Me in an attitude of humbleness, it is then that he/she is given the glory of wisdom and the wide of Heaven’s gate is shown. Therefore My son, be of good cheer and know that even as ye have humbled thyself and do continue to receive in this way, ye have been of a loving spirit to know of all things shown and revealed and in this ye have glimpsed even the mind and love of God. For ye have heard My lamenting prayers unto the Fathers of all wisdom and ye have seen the very gates of Heaven wide open and revealing the very light upon which all is blessed, and yet ye do still wonder of such things as ye behold the very life extended in the connection of body and spirit. And in all of these things ye still hide and be as My first children in thy shame and fear. For even as ye receive in such fullness ye are of a capping limit of sustenance and return to the limit of reserve. For what if ye pressed forward with such faith that the very Heavens could not deny thee? And thus is thy unspoken and unrealized fear of too much. For it is the human limit of obtaining too much. There is a quotient that is placed because of the very degree of excellence. For there is an unspoken and unrealized limit of the human experience that limits ye in thy efforts. And what if ye pressed forward in greater strength? Oh ye man of fear, ye would behold the very face of God. For have there not been others that have been privileged in such an honor because of great faith? And yet ye press forward and then step back, which is in the human limits of ‘too much.’ For what then and how would ye be, even to know God now? Oh ye that seek Me, do ye not want Me? Oh ye that say, ’yes’ and then say, ‘no.’ Is there not the sake of asking and fully receiving? For what limits ye place upon thy selves to know Me and ye know even not. Oh ye that speak unto Me in thy lips and hearts, but limit thy own experience because of unconscious fear. Be ye of good faith and cheer, for this is not a chastisement, but a loving guidance for thee to even know this that ye place upon thyself and ye know not. For as ye continue to release the natural man and continue to add more and more light unto thyself ye then are preparing for even the highest of blessings. And the will of the Father will become thy will, and the oneness of perfection will fall upon thee to know even the will of all things above, and below, and beyond. So be of good cheer and continue to press forward and know the light of My love and in time ye will even know Me. For behold the priesthood robes witnessed, do they not speak of a promise of the eternities? So be ye not fearful of all that is before thee and step forward unto thy true self of holiness, and be ye whom thou art.
Oh ye My children, deny thy selves no more the glory that is yours, but believe and begin to behold the glory that can be. Therefore be ye even as perfect as ye can be and continue to add light upon light until ye shine even as Me. And then step into My presence as ye shine with Me and be one in a perfect order before God, and be His child again in His presence. Be of good cheer and shine forth thy light unto the world, and know Me even as I am.”
“Even now can ye not see the limit that ye just bumped up against? An unseen and unconscious limit that keeps thee bound. But be of good cheer and raise thy awareness so that ye might add upon thee more light unto thy holiness, and be even as I. Peace My son, as ye ponder and wonder at these things presented and spoken in love. Raise thy desire and raise thy belief and begin to ascend.”
I am feeling so amazed! As if this beautiful writing wasn’t enough, as I was just completing my started bedtime ritual, I was brushing my teeth and was illuminated with the light of inspiration. As I held this light I began to glimpse the many ways that I have been limiting myself. For even as I limit myself and the light added, by the way I treat my body with its food and care. As I heard my question of the past replayed in my mind, “Why don’t we run to Him?” Perhaps it is because of this which He just addressed… the fear of too much.
I might take a moment and share an experience that was referenced in this writing by the words, “ …and yet ye do still wonder of such things as ye behold the very life extended in the connection of body and spirit.” This past Tuesday night I went by the hospital to take some flowers in support and love of two friends whose mother was passing. In fact, it is the same dear woman, that I have written about that as I was in my exile years from the church said to me in love, “When are you going to be baptized?” As I entered the closed door of the hospital room I was amazed that she was in a larger room and it was filled with her family in which I knew most and they welcomed me, in their usual warmth and generosity. I though, feeling like this was a private time and wanted to duck out as quickly as I could. But they insisted that I stay until my friend returned as she had just stepped out. In looking back it was such a gift to be a witness of a united family in love, singing, telling stories and waiting for that final time for the release of their nearly 100 year old mother from this earthly realm. It was a beautiful display of belief and love, as I witnessed and took it all in, standing against a wall trying to be invisible. While amongst this love it was impossible to ignore the fail body in it efforts of breath that was rhythmic in nature. And as I gave honor to her in a sweetness of gratitude it was then that the Spirit started to move my body with jolts, as my spiritual awareness started to open up. It was as I was witnessing this beautiful matriarch surrounded in love with her steady breathing that I beheld with my spiritual eyes this same matriarch in the arms of her patriarch, her husband. As she was nestled into his side with her hand on his chest and I heard her familiar voice say, “I am with my sweetheart.” And it was then with unspoken words that she taught me as I questioned how this can be. “How can I be seeing you in the bed breathing in life as I am now witnessing you with A.? I then received into my mind a fullness of knowing, as she taught me that when he appeared she leapt out of her body to greet him. And that she was still tethered to her body that is still keeping the body breathing and in this life. She also taught me that those that are afraid to pass cling to the body. And now, they in their presence again, as they took in and were even enjoying the beauty of the family present. I also asked, “When and how do you leave?” And she replied, “When the light comes.” As I understood with a visual, in my mind, as I saw a light appearing and opening to enter. The same light I have experienced for myself with my own death experience was now going to be present for her. How sweet this time, as I was in awe and focused back onto the family singing and sharing, as they passed out sandwiches that one of them had made to be shared. As I thought I would now let them be as a family in these finial hours, I discreetly as possible made my exist, and K. walked me out of the hospital. What a gift and I felt so blessed to be a part of this sacred experience. For M., was even in her passing a light and teacher, as I carried a witness of a family united under the matriarchal and patriarchal order of love.
February 14, 2016 Sunday (5:55 am)
I have been periodically waking up all through the night and as I would wake I found myself expressing my love to The Father and then would drift back to sleep. As I just woke I spoke, “I love you Father.” As I heard in response, “Write My son.” My alarm is about to go off and I have to soon get ready for work because of it being Valentine’s Day, but I am always willing to write as directed. Breathing for the Spirit…
“Yes My son, I would speak with thee as ye prepare for the day, and witness unto thee the love and concern that ye felt for the worker of misfortune. For as ye spoke of the concerns of the handicap given unto the child of confusion. For as ye were asking, “Father, what are the answers?”, as your heart was in question of such an issue for such a child, parent, and family. For gender roles are a complex issue, and the child that is born of this complexity be given the freedom of love to express, and to be of a gift unto all concerned. For even as they are of the truth, they are of the love that is first. For as this is given it is then that the child of confusion can be given room to expand and grow as a being of love and worth. The child that is born of such is not condemned in the Heavens, nor should be in the world. But even as this is a mishap of nature and the building of genes/chromosomes beyond your understanding. It is still a mishap that is given the light and love of God. For as ye have seen, these mishaps happen everyday as a child is born into a body of a handicap. And it is in these that a spirit of love is willing to proceed as a growth opportunity of mortality. For ye say that ye were of the same, and it is some that it is of birth, and yet of some the environment, and others a combination of each. But in all of these is the complexity of life and the lessons given unto each situation. For the laws of man want to hear of a strictness and the laws of the Heavens are of a strictness of justice and love. For man forgets the love of justice. Can you not even see and witness of such a love? For did I not come for thee even beyond the realm of justice, because of this very love? And it is of the same for these fair creatures, yes even My children, that come to struggle, learn, teach and grow. For ye think and wonder ‘Why’? And I say unto you, ‘Why not?’ For every breath, in this world and challenge of learning, is worth every effort and situation. For the world of man wonders ’Why and how a God could be of such to allow such suffering’, as ye have in the world. But it is not I nor of My creation, but working within the realm of the natural laws. And as this happens ye have situations of unpleasant, that even abhor the mind of man and God, but ye know still the growth through these things. For all of life is worth every breath, and even in these it is not the creation of God, but the realization of God because of these things. For all are given the light of life, the eternal gift, and it is to find this gift that will serve each soul. And as one might struggle with these issues of worth and love, being estranged from the norm, it is still an opportunity to come unto Me with what is given. For is the man/person who is given more talent or opportunity, given more than he who is not? Yes, but is the love still not the same? For ye are given some and have developed others, but your love of the heart is of a nature of spirit and of the natural development given thee in thy struggle, did it not serve thee?
Oh My children, ye look unto the law to uphold, even as a curse. And I say, ‘The law must be fulfilled but use it as a standard of excellence and not a switch of obedience. For some, even unto this, is the law given, but the heart must be the guide and the law will be fulfilled unto the love given and received. For there are many questions and many answers, but thy time is short of thy commitments. So be of good cheer and know that the heart is the guide through these issues of love and worth. For the standard is set and for those with no issues of deviance, let them stand. And those struggling, not of their own doings, let them still come unto Me, and the love of God will bless them even as they have a heart of love and obedience. Blessed are all who struggle and find the value of worth, even as the gift in the struggle. Blessed are they that are the teachers of tolerance and the children of My heart. For condemn not them and condemn not Me as ye find your way. And in this the scale of mercy and justice will find its balance, but beyond all find love of every soul and then ye will find Me. For let every creature come unto Me and it is in this that the soul will soar unto the light and love of understanding.
Be at peace My son, as your mind is blinded by thy questions. Be of peace and know love, and go forth into thy day.”
Just a note… this writing was because of my many questions of the Lord, spurred on by a conversation that I had with a temporary worker who is helping us get through our holiday rush. As she has worked with us over the last few days she has heard me speak of my church, and she finally asked, “Which church?” And as I told her that I was LDS she had a puzzled look on her face and asked, “ Are you happy and have you found a more liberal congregation?” Which then puzzled me as I was trying figure out her question and if she was referring to my own question of gender attraction. So as we both made more inquires, it opened the door to further discussion and a self-revealing of our lives. She opened up and shared that she has a young child that struggled with gender identity. That the son she gave birth to is self identified as a girl and the turmoil that resulted in the family as they came to respect the process of this young eight year old. My heart went out to her as she expressed, as much as she could in a work environment, the innocence of her young child that wanted to die because he felt more of a girl than a boy. And how as he is now dressing and being a girl, the innocence of youth and a happiness has come back to the child. This was the first time that I have ever talked so openly with someone who has struggled with the issue of gender identification. I shared my own feelings of wanting to die as a child and teen because of my own feelings of gender attraction (different from gender identity). As I gave her my support and love, as much as you can in today’s working atmosphere as an employer, and it internally brought to focus a lot of spiritual questions of “Why Father?”
February 25, 2014 Thursday (6:13 am)
I just woke as I have been waking and dozing back into sleep for a couple hours. As I just now woke I gave thanks to “Father” and immediately heard, “Write My son, write.” I then heard it followed by, “Thy experience has been rich, but I would that ye hear My voice.” Breathing for the Spirit …
“Yes, My son, I would that ye hear and know My voice as ye have been rich in thy experience of the Spirit, but it is now that I would speak and ye know the voice of thy Master and the sound of My love. For even as ye have struggled and have fallen, ye still are of a spirit of hope as ye learn to temper thy anger. For even as ye tempered thyself in thy experience ye have also let the flame of fairness be ignited and flame as with your employees. But I now say unto thee, ‘That this process, of learning to let thy feelings known, is one of a rich experience as ye express thy feelings of worth. For it is an experience of value, and worth, and respect.’ For the value of exchange was weighed in thy experience and the worth and respect was trampled in unknowingness. For even as ye have observed the working patterns of talking and production ye were inflamed in the lack of respect for your worth. Even as ye have been here on many times, ye know the value of thy time and ye were of a righteous observation, even though the flame of thy impatience was rot with anger.
Oh ye that let the emotions of observation be layered without expression as ye test the patience and try to avoid conflict. Be of good cheer and know that love prevails and ye are of love, even in thy bouts of anger. For know ye this, that the emotion of anger is one of feelings of injustice, and that the respect of self is being compromised. And in this one must learn to recognize the worth of self and the value of each situation, and learn to express the feelings before the anger is lost to the emotion of expression. So be of good cheer as ye learn thyself and come again from love. Oh My son, be of a love that ye know and do not shut down the feelings of expression as ye gain thy balance again.”
“I am so sorry Father, as I am struggling with my overwhelming thoughts, as I am back into yesterday’s experience and am overwhelmed in my mind. My personal thoughts are overwhelming the writing.”
“And when this is the case ye can breathe again and the flow of My love will return. For even as ye are in a mind of remorse and justification, ye will find your way to love and it is here that ye will be of a rest again. So learn to be of a recognition and expression before ye return to thy work. For the shutting down causes resentment in both and ye need to clear and express to find balance again. For even in this, conflict is the lesson of worth and struggle of the heart as ye learn love.”
I feel like I keep losing the more clean thoughts beyond my thinking, to my thinking. I am is struggle as I bring back the emotions.
“Go forth My son, and be of good cheer as ye work and weigh this out. Be of a blessing, as ye learn thyself and be of a heart of love.”
February 26, 2016 Friday (5:37 am)
I just woke before my alarm and as I gave my waking, “Thank you Father.” I heard a clear and immediate, “Write.” I the said, “Father I am anxious because of yesterday’s writing was a struggle.” (Which I had to abandon because of inability to focus) And Father responded with, “I will be clear with thee but ye must focus.”
So with these words I begin to breathe and open to the flow of Spirit…
“Oh ye, My son, thou hast asked and so it is that ye should know My will and My command, as ye make thyself known unto Me and offer thy life unto Me. And in this I am well pleased. For even as ye say the words of commitment ye also have a fear that continues to hold thee back, but it is upon thy commitment that I focus and the fear will reveal itself in due time. For even in thee is thee honor and the glory to receive that which is accounted unto thee. Therefore, My son, rejoice in thy heart that ye should be of a sacrifice offered and thus accepted. For as ye offer, so it is that ye be received unto Me and in this is the mark of the heart made visible for all to see. And in this ye are Mine, and ye are the lamb revealed, for I know My sheep. And ye know Me as ye hear My voice. Therefore, My son, rejoice in thy heart and know the love shared and given freely unto those that are of such an offering. For ye now partake of the fruit of righteousness, which is fruit of the First Born, and ye know the name given unto thee and the marked upon thee in all holiness. For as ye write ye question in thy thinkings, ‘That ye are not perfect to be of such an righteousness.’ And I now say unto thee, ‘That righteousness is not perfection in all things.’ Righteousness is the way made true and square. As ye step squarely upon the path unto Me ye are in a state of righteousness. And in this ye will not be perfect in all things until I receive thee, and in this My love and sacrifice will make the difference between thee and the perfection assembled to receive The Father. And in this ye will then be in a glorified state of perfection. For no unclean thing can be before The Father, and ye will be made/washed clean with My atoning blood and love. So fear not and worry not thy mind seeking an ever eluding state of perfection in this life, but seek ye Me in all ways and be as close to Me as ye can be, adding light upon thee. And in time the enticings of the wicked one will not be even noticed, and in this he is bound. For it is through one’s light received that binds him unto not even having an influence or even a notice. For as ye perceived this thought of truth, the other day, that we are surrounded by both angels and devils with each breath of this life. And it is upon the focus that we live our life that gives the illumination unto which, and in this we choose the influence received. For when ye receive one ye then bind the other, and it is in this way that ye bind and cast off the influences of life. For yes, you are amused by the cartoon visuals of thy youth of the angel and devil on each side of the shoulder whispering their influence. And as ye now see the truth of such humor revealed in all seriousness. For the truth is of such a learning that ye begin to now know the truth revealed. Be ye therefore of light and ye see light, and be ye therefore of darkness and ye take on darkness. For with every thought, deed, and action is this truth revealed, and it is for thee to know the righteousness of thy way. For to continually square thyself is the way unto perfection, which ye fear and seek. And ye fear it because ye see it as an impossible leap, but I say unto thee, ‘Square thyself continually, ever adjusting and choosing, and ye will be of a perfect nature that will surprise thyself of the ease unto perfection.
So rejoice in thy heart and know the way before thee and ye will be of a witness of this truth; continually squaring and ye will know Me even as I am.
Oh My sheep hear My voice and come follow and ye will know the Mater of the flock and be a friend, even unto Me. Therefore raise thy voice in one accord and declare the truth of My name, and receive Me not only in thy hearts but in the manifestation of being thy Shepard. Be strong and be bold and bring Me into form. For as ye enlighten thyself it is then ye can see Me even as I am.
Go forth, My son, with a heart of praise and cheer, and know Me in thy day. For even in thy struggles ye are blessed to be of such a knowledge, of such truth, and in the knowing is the blessing and responsibility of which ye are ready to receive. Blessed are ye.”
“Worry not My son, publish these things for those that are ready will perceive, and those that are not will slough off, even as the wheat and the tares. Fear not of truth revealed.”
February 29, 2016 Monday ( 3:07 am)
I just woke up and as I was lying in the darkness trying to come back into full consciousness as I heard, “Write My son.” So in the early morning hours I gathered my pen and paper, beside me on the bed, and am now breathing for the Spirit to flow…
“Yes, My son, for behold the glory of what is to be and the wisdom that will flow, as My children of the gospel here My call and reign in the hopes and desires of the world; and begin to be as they are called, saints. For a saint is the follower of My word, and the word of My voice is spoken in love unto them that respond to My voice and My call. For wisdom is in the heeding of such holiness of such action. For son, you wonder in your thinkings of this wisdom and theme of this writing, as I hear your mind, and believe your heart. For even now, behold this wisdom as I show thee the way unto those that hearken in all wisdom. For behold the wisdom of solace as My hand goes before the many to regain the few, and in this is the work of salvation and in this the glory. For My heart delighth in such a work of gathering, and as this is brought forth, so it is in My heart to be of a love that will guide My children unto righteousness. For mourn not for those that pass unto Me and have received the gospel of love and wisdom. But mourn those that reject the word and My loving hand stretched forth, for they will be of a loss of comfort and grace. But these that suffer the afflictions of the world, and do so in Me, have the warmth of My word and the goodness of My arm of protection. For even in thy suffering is My comfort. For the earth of glory cometh, and as she takes on the glory of righteousness she will shake and move in her preparation. And as the cleansing has begun ye will behold many tragedies of land and sea, and in this, this is only the beginning of the dividing and turmoil that will come upon all peoples. For soon, My son, that which ye have prepared will be of a sustenance to support thee in such an outpouring of grief and sorrow. But as ye cling to My word and feel of a comfort of the mind and heart, ye will be of a wisdom that is spoken as My arm is upon thee and for thee. So grieve not unto those that are of a loss, but behold the mighty plan of truth that is coming forth to reveal all glory and wisdom. And in this the saints of the past and the glory of the present will be brought together in a rapture of hope and love. And in this will the very gates of Heaven open to receive the transition of many. And those of the few that are left will begin the work, the mighty work of My glory. For even as I come, they that will receive Me will be blessed beyond measure as they have tarried in a hardship of love and compassion to be amongst such suffering. For raise thy thoughts beyond the reproach and behold My glory. And in this ye will be of all My saints that have toiled and suffered for the cause of My sake and wisdom. For even as ye wonder of the cause of such sufferings, ye will be brought into a comfort of the heart and ye will behold Mine arm upon thee. And those that have murmured and scoffed at the wisdom of preparation will behold the wisdom of truth. So be of good cheer, My children of glory, and raise above the clamoring turmoil of pain. For be a sight of goodness amongst the darkness of a world in judgment. A judgment that is upon all the world, because of the wickedness of man. For it has been foretold and all righteousness will be revealed.
For this is not the desire of God to behold such suffering, but it is the way to all glory as the scale of judgment and balance is brought into the light and glory of God. For man thinketh that this is the delight of God; and it is because of his own works that the scale was tipped unto the injustice and is brought back into justice. For behold that which the world has brought unto itself. So be of good cheer to know the truth and wisdom of this judgment realized. Be bold and be strong as ye awaiteth My glory, and in this ye will be blessed. As I seal My promise unto thee in all righteousness. For continue to prepare in all wisdom the heart, mind and body; and as ye do, ye will know the wisdom of such preparation. Rest My son, and hear My comfort for the heart will behold such suffering and pain, but behold My love even in this.”
March 11, 2016 Friday (5:55 am)
I just woke up before my alarm for the second time. As I awoke the first time I was told to “Write.” But unexpectedly slipped back into sleep. As I just woke in giving thanks to the Father, and feeling sorry about not fulfilling His wishes, I asked if He still wanted Me to write. And heard the immediate response, “I always want to write when the command is given, so that My voice can be heard unto every nation and all peoples.” (That statement is daunting, but not wanting to question the command.) I am breathing for the Spirit and flow to come into my heart and mind…
“Oh My son, it is in this discipline of the pen that ye still hear Me and My word. And it is of this command and authority that ye are given the sound of My voice, that ye and those that are of a heart opened unto Me might proclaim the truth of the Heavens, and that the meaning of those things soon upon thee might be known and heard.
Oh My peoples of the world, ye know not the wisdoms of these words, as ye are of a complacent mind and nature, and ye know not the tide of devastation that is soon upon thee. For as ye continue in the light of day, a nation of remorse will mourn for the things soon upon them. For even as the world is soon changed, so it is that the sound of My voice will die unto the rhythm of comfort and ye will have nowhere to turn, but unto thyselves. And behold what will ye hear? What will ye know? Nothing. Nothing but the silence of Heaven and thy own clamoring of fear as ye will be in the throws of thy unrighteousness. For as ye are of this silence and know not where to turn, it is of this silence that ye must turn unto Me to have any direction for thy well being. For as ye turn unto Me and from the clamoring of the world it is then from the silence that ye will begin to hear My voice and ye will find thy way again. For be it known even in this, that ye will need to know My voice and be of a mind to listen to the counsels that will save thee. For as a man/woman know Me and My voice then will they be of a mind of comfort and wisdom. Yes, My son, I can hear thy concerns of being able to discern in the chaos that will fill thy mind and which ye will be about. So it is in this fear and concern that ye will need to be justified in Me that the clarity of sound might be heard. For even now ye struggle and question, and as ye do are not able to find thy way through thy concerns? Even now do ye not even find discernment amongst the mind that is troubled with fears and concerns? Oh ye that can hear… hear, and be of a mind to help those that are floundering. And as ye know My voice it will be of a importance to trust what ye hear and know.”
Oh Father, this tapping into my very fears of trust. For how can I be responsible for others when it is hard to trust for myself? How will I be able to serve thee in my own fear? Oh Father, help me. Make me strong in Thee and quiet my ever questioning mind.
“Oh My son, thy lamenting pain of the mind will be swallowed up of a heart swollen in Spirit. For think ye not that I would abandon My fledgling souls coming unto Me? Think ye of Me as a cruel and suffering making Father that is of no heart? For even as ye hear My words of warning and jump directly into fear, ye have not heard My comfort of love. For even as the world will be thrown into chaos, there will be an out pouring of Spirit as never before. That those of a mind and heart of Me will hear Me and know Me, even as not seen. For some will turn unto thee and other will turn unto their own understandings, and in this is the way known, as My voice is testified of the Spirit of Promise that is sent to comfort and show thee the way. For has not the sound of My voice been known unto thee, and have ye not known these words of promise? Oh My son, fear not, question not thy own understandings. But be of a mind of openness and obedience. For as ye obey and be of good cheer in Me, ye will be of a mind that will cope in the turmoil soon upon all peoples. For even as the world sleeps in ignorance, ye will soon be woken unto a righteousness of thy ways. For those that know Me will hear Me, and those that know Me not will be groping in a clamoring world.
For have I not called forth to give heed and to gather in preparation? Have I not given the voice of warning unto My prophets? And are not these prophets trying to lift thee up unto Me, in teaching thee of obedience to receive Me in the Spirit before all receive Me in the world of flesh? But even as I have called out the warning, how many virgins will be without the oil of preparation? How many will be looking unto their own ways? And in this is the word given and not heard.
Oh My peoples that know Me and can hear My voice, know Me well and prepare to hear Me in thy own hearts to know thy way. For even as ye fear these words, My son, do ye not have comfort in My voice? So let thy heart and mind be comforted in the sound of My love, and trust your Friend. For have I not held you to My bosom? And have I not even healed thee? And ye still question. Oh My son of doubt, ye fear thy own shadow. But let the binds of fear fall away and let the trust of knowing be freed to expand and soar. So expand thy wings standing on the edge of fear and trust, and know that which is innate within thee. Trust and know whom thou art. Know thyself and know Me as ye become whom thou art born to be. For all those that hear and believe, be whom thou art. Be not a broken people, but be of a course that will lift thee up and bind thee to Me. Ye question thyselves because ye trust not yet whom thou art. For ye trust the surroundings of pain more than Me. Open thy wingspan and trust as ye will soon soar upon My love. Oh My beloved ones of My heart, ye know Me, and trust no more in thy fears and doubts but trust in whom thou art… and soar.
Blessed art thou son, to hear Me. And blessed art those that believe. But I now ask thee to believe enough in thyselves to look unto thy own voice to follow. Build thy own understandings of counsel, trust enough to hear Me in thy own understandings of heart and mind. And ye will begin to know for thyselves the way before thee. For soon it is of your own voice that ye will need to trust , and as ye do, ye will hear Me and be not alone. Trust and look unto thyselves and know Me even as I lift thee up. Peace My children, peace as ye trust unto Me.”
March 15, 2016 Tuesday (late evening)
As I was leaving dad’s house after a visit, I was walking out to my car when I looked up and saw how beautiful the moon was in its half circle amongst the brightly lit stars, and as I was looking up heard, “Come to Me and I will bless you.” So after driving home and getting settled in I went to my bed and knelt in prayer and as I was praying I started to hear…
“Oh My son, hear the words of My heart that ye might know the wisdom in all things. For even as a man/woman come before Me in a humbleness of heart and a faith/knowingness of wisdom, for the heart knoweth all things, and it is in these things that ye will know Me even as I am. For in this is the glory of the Father to bring the humble and obedient unto Him and be of one glory, and in this is the greatest wisdom. For as ye desired Me above all other calls unto thee, it is in this ye are blessed and know Me even now in these things.
For hearken oh ye world of man, hearken and come before Me in all righteousness, and behold the very Lamb of God sacrificed upon the alter of all holiness for thee. And ye know Me not. For it is I who has slipped into every heart to whisper the way. For it is I who lighteth the way for man to know the truth that will glorify and purify every soul that kneelth before the law. And as a soul kneelth unto the law, then he kneelth before Me. For I am the Law and the Light that will purify thee to come before the Father of All Glory. And in this ye know Me and the Father in a state of oneness, and receive the Holy Order of the Priesthood, even the oneness of God. Oh blessed day of such holiness when this purpose is received and revealed. For in this revelation is the perfect state of God. For behold be ye therefore perfect in Me and then ye will be made perfect before All Glory, even the Father. Therefore My son, ask unto Me with all thy heart to purify thee to prepare thee for this very state and as ye ask, so it shall be received that ye might know the truth of all wisdom.”
I am asking the Father to forgive Me because of my weakness, as I am falling asleep and as I am asking I hear, “And in this weakness ye are purified and made whole. So revile no more the weak state, but rejoice that it is this very weakness that will be made perfect in a pure state of joy. Rejoice for in and through this very weakness are ye made perfect. For man recoils at the weakness, but it is this very weakness that shows thee the way unto perfection. So lament no more, but turn a heart unto rejoicing for all weakness will be made perfect as ye stay focused upon Me. For did I not teach this in My embrace? For even as ye begun to behold the opposition in all things, did I not counsel thee to stay with Me, and focused upon Me, even as the opposition tried to take thee from Me? And as ye stayed with Me, and focused upon Me, did this focus of purpose not even bind the opposition to receive? Oh My son and children, learn this well, that the opposite is in all and as ye experience one thing ye hold both; but it is upon the focus held that ye experience. Therefore know this truth and ye know the key to all wisdom. For when ye speak of binding, he who fights against Me, ye do this very thing with thy focus. For as ye stayed with Me as ye began to fear and experience the opposition of the embrace, was not the opposition bound? And did the embrace not lead thee unto love, with thy head upon My bosom in a pure state of holiness?
Oh ye world of man, learn this very thing and defeat the currents of opposition that binds thee. But as ye stay thy focus upon Me, and stay thy focus, ye will pass through all opposition unto a state of perfecting love. For ye get lost in the opposition, but hold true to Me, and the opposition will become a holy state of love. For did not the boy, Joseph, find this as he knelt to know Me? Did he not fight for his life with this opposition? And look unto his reward.
Oh My children, get not lost in the opposition that besets thee, but push through unto that which ye desire. Focus on Me and ye shall lay thy head upon My bosom and receive that which ye truly desire, a pure state of love that fills the void of desire. Oh My children, ye recoil and question, and are bounced around; but keep thy embrace of Me, keep thy focus on Me, and ye will be of such a steady footing that ye will move through all opposition. Can ye not see that in every experience that ye have choice? And in every negative that ye perceive there is a positive, and in every positive the negative? And it is upon the focus of desire that ye receive. Oh My son of desire did I not say, as ye looked at the starred sky, ‘Come unto Me and I will bless thee.’? And are ye not now blessed in thy truths confirmed? For ye had thy experience but were still floundering in the mind. And even now ye know and are blessed with and through this floundering. And ye are blessed even in thy weakness of sleep, as ye stay focused and passed through the opposition. And did ye not pass through the opposition that wanted to take you to the television? And ye stayed focused on Me, and ye are here with Me, with the mind full of light and your heart of awe.
Oh My children, open thy hearts and minds, and see the truth in the words, ‘There is opposition in all things.’ For this is an eternal truth and state which must be, to be in existence. For ye think that even God, the Father, is without opposition, but ye know not that it is because of this very opposition that He is God. Even now, My son, as ye stare at the light of the lamp, as ye ponder this, is there not darkness around the lamp and light if the lamp was turned off? Is there not joy in pain waiting to be revealed? Man continues to be lost in the opposition, that is just out of the reach of this truth. For know this and ye are set free; know Me and ye shall have eternal freedom. For I am the Light and the Life and he that knows Me is in an eternal state of joy.
Oh My friend, lay thy head upon My bosom and rest in Me. Are ye not blessed? For if ye passed not through the opposition would ye know such light of enlightenment? Oh ye man of joy awaken unto thy joy.”
As I lay here in a state of gratitude repeating, “Thank You.” I hear with a touch of humor, void of any sarcasm, “Gratitude becomes thee.” The statement makes my heart warm and puts a smile on face, as I continue in my gratitude.
It is here that I might share an experience which I wasn’t sure I was going to share, because of the very elements of the experience. These elements which seemed to put doubt into my own mind and I didn’t want to instill doubt in those reading these writings. But now with these words of light, of this writing, I must share that which I was going to keep hidden. Again, as I have stated in the past, I share these things which are very personal not out of boast or to build myself up, but I share because within these writings there is so much beauty and truth that I feel guilty to keep this beauty to myself. I continue to hear people say, “Not to share that which is sacred.” But then I ask myself, “What if, Joseph Smith had never shared his very personal experience of the First Vision? And if Lehi had never shared his dream? Or Mary her encounter with the risen Christ? Not that I am even on the same level as any of these, but if they had kept hidden these faith building experiences there would be great voids in our spiritual history and we would be left floundering even as I was in my own personal experience as the Lord just mentioned. So with all of this being said, I share with risks of criticism and speculation, but I stay true to what I said in the very preface of these writings, “Whether you believe them (these writings and experiences) to be true or not is of no consequence, but do know that it is with my heart that I bear witness that the things I have written are true to my experience.”
My mind is continually questioning my experiences because they are not of this “physical reality.” My mind asking, “So are they true experiences or just the mind creating these varied experiences?” In most of these experiences there is a feeling of spiritual awe, that fills my mind and heart; always filling me with a reverence for the experience. But even in this reverence my mind kicks in and tells me that it wasn’t of a physical nature, so it takes on less significance. But how can an embrace from Christ not be significant?! So let me now try to capture and share the numerous details of my experience that it might help to fill in the meaning of the above writing.
It was two weeks ago, as I was in my Wednesday night mediation class, that ‘C’ guided us into a personal journey within and as I was in a deep meditative state which took me into this experience. I almost didn’t make it to class because I was having an allergic reaction to some antibiotics I was taking for a minor oral surgery. So in my stomach discomfort I forged through with a warning that I may not make it through the entire class. So as I was breathing and moving into a deeper meditative state I moved through a series of dream-like image states, almost like flashing dreams, that really didn’t have any significance. I felt like in a sleep state of dreaming, but I wasn’t sleeping. As I stayed with the images I seemed to move through them and was able to break free from them, and was lifted in light to the very gates that I have experienced and even written about. In the past I have experienced these gates in a visionary state and have returned, in my mediation, on several occasions. These gates appear to be the very gates of Heaven which beyond, I intuitively feel, is God, the Father. The gates themselves are structured as scrolled metal work, but are not metal and seem to be of a crystalline nature. They are more grand in scale than any I have experienced or seen in this earthly realm. And leading up to them are steps, which I cannot seem to see to the bottom, and it seems like I am wearing blinders, because of my limited view. The steps seem as wide as a football field or longer, and everything is of a grand scale. I cannot seem to see beyond the gates, but behold light streaming with an intensity of the sun, but not hurting my eyes as peering into the sun. On past occasions as I was in that vision state, I saw spiritual beings dressed in white robes, placing objects on the steps. These objects I couldn’t identify but observed as they placed them on the steps an intensity of light would flow through the gates, and like a blessing, this light would fall upon the objects. I remember as I observed this, thinking and wondering if these are like prayers being blessed and answered. Well on this occasion as I approached the gates and stairs I saw come flooding out, something like liquid light, that came flowing from the gates over a portion of the steps towards me. I then observed that the flowing liquid light filled several golden goblets, and I then instinctively knew to partake from one of the goblets. And as I partook I knew that this was a blessing of health for my stomach issues. After I partook from the goblet, I was then focused upon the light within the gates that was of great intensity. As I gazed within the gates, I beheld a marvelous image. Seeing with my spiritual eyes an image of a personage stepping from the intensity of light. As this robed male figure descended the steps I knew who He was, it was Christ Himself walking towards me. I was in wonder and yet the doubting mind kicked-in as my questioning unbelief asked, “Why and how could I be worthy of such?” And continued to question if this was my imagination of a creative mind; a reasoning that I have struggled with in my past. But I wasn’t looking to create or even thinking but just letting the flow of images unfold, and in this unfolding Christ Himself was walking towards me. And as His approached neared He opened His arms and brought me into Him in an embrace. As I could feel myself freeze in overwhelm, and He just continued to hold me in His exuding love. And as He did, His image began to change and I felt fearful, because it began to feel of darkness, which made me begin to recoil. But as I was feeling this fear he held me tight, looking into my face and saying, “Stay with Me, focus upon Me.” And as I did the feeling of darkness diminished and I returned to the incredible healing love. A love that made me feel unworthy, as I went through layers of unworthiness, as He continued to embrace me. Saying in an assurance of love, “Stay with Me.” And as I did my head rested upon His chest, and I felt as a child in the comfort of his parent’s arms. A love and assuredness that seemed to heal my soul. As my head was resting in His love, He then put His forehead to mine and I seemed to merge into a oneness of peace of mind that seemed to take in the immensity of space as I viewed through Him the universe. As I was in this wonder I then heard ‘C’ calling us back, and not wanting to leave His embrace. As it all dissipated and I reluctantly came back into this physical world, and in returning into the room and wondering of reality, and realities. Here in the reality of the room, my stomach was telling me that the liquid light hadn’t worked, and the morphing image of Christ left me in question of realities and influences.
My stomach was now going on a week of upheaval, with little to eat but saltines and Gatorade. It was the next day after the incredible experience that still had me feeling the effects of the embrace, and still leaving me to ponder. In this thinking I heard a thought enter my mind, “Receive the blessing.” This statement made me wonder, “We often want a cure or a blessing, but are we truly open to receiving it, will I let it in?” As I continued to think on this, and being motivated with a need for more nourishment, which helped play a role of my being receptive to receiving. As I knelt in prayer and asked, ‘to receive what was given.’ And through the day my stomach began to calm and was ready to begin eating the following day. With all of this experience it gave me so much to ponder and question. Of course the mind wanted to tell me that the probiotics were beginning to kick in and that the mind can be so creative. Which both are true, but are they the truth unto themselves?
Oh how I am grateful for a patient Heaven, even this morning as I awoke I asked the Lord to teach me. As I asked I freely opened the scriptures and they opened to Doctrine and Covenants chapter 50, teaching of discerning spirits, adding light and being Christ’s. And now it’s 1:50 am and the heart is full and the mind wants to question reality. So where do we, you as the reader and I, go from here? Either we throw out these nearly five hundred pages of writings, and caulk it up to a creative mind and coming back into a “normal” reality, or we push through our limited perceptions and begin to question our concepts of realities. For me and what my heart is feeling with this above writing, I am choosing to push on and question our state of realities. As I choose I am now thinking of Christ and in the New Testament after a number of His disciples or followers left because His teachings were too hard for them to accept. He turned to His apostles and asked if they were going to leave Him also? And they saying in response, “To whom shall we turn?”
Only hoping to have another experience of my head rested upon the bosom of Christ to receive true freedom. And in this, remembering as I lifted my head from His chest of pure love and hearing myself say, “That is truly what I ever wanted.”
March 21, 2016 Monday (7:20 am)
Today is my day off and I let myself wake up naturally. As I was waking I heard, “Write.” And then heard, “I will speak on the righteousness of My people.” I just knelt in prayer asking for the Spirit to be with me that I might have the flow and clarity of Spirit… breathing…
Oh My son, the inhabitants of the earth are of a nature of sin and the degree of thus sin is of a nature that the world is of a time of great retribution. And in this is My anger kindled and the peoples of the world will be humbled in all righteousness. For it is in this righteousness that they will know the wrath of God, that delivereth His will to the earth, and it is upon this will that the nations of the earth will have the righteousness of God’s love. For have I not spoken of the polarity of all things? That in everything is opposition? For as Mine anger is kindled and so doth My love flow, and as My love floweth there is the attribute of righteous anger present. So within each is the other and within all things is the other. So as My love floweth, so doth Mine anger. And in this will I soon bring forth the anger and wrath of such a love. For hath not I cried repentance unto a world gone forth after its own lusts? And have I not allowed enough time to prove themselves unto Me? Oh hear Me and know that the world is soon changed and will know the cost of sin against Me and against the natural order of God. The ways of the Heavens are not the ways of the world, and in this are things soon changed with a heavy hand unto justice. For the scale of balance has tipped unto justice and in this is the weight of sin to be paid. For even as this is a judgment of God, it is a judgment of self, and in the wickedness of desires that continually leads man unto this discipline of corrections. But it is because of the exceeding wickedness that the world will know such a harsh judgment, and in this are the prophesies fulfilled unto the holy order of God. For man knoweth the natural law and it is in this that he continueth to slant unto his own choosing of sin and unrighteousness. For hath not even the governments of the earth fallen unto their own wickedness and is this not a reflection of the ills of a society following its own course of lusts and hearkening unto the voice of the natural man and unto the whispers of he who fights against me? Oh how he has led them unto their own demise with his lust and desires of unrighteousness. And in this he has caused great chaos, even unto not knowing that which is good from that which is of a wickedness of deception. For man is finding in his liberalness the right of the natural as good. And I say and have always said, ‘That the natural man is an enemy to God.’ For it is out of these, the natural, that man must rise and separate and allow the natural to fall away unto light and truth. For man now sees the natural as the truth and the refined light of God’s ways as unnatural and an abomination unto the natural. And in this is the plan, of he who fights against Me, has taken hold and in this is the wrath of God been stirred. For We allow, such an abomination to man, the right of choice, and We now see that the choice is unto the natural, which will always lead unto the scale of balance calling for justice. For hath this not been so throughout all of history, even until this day? It is because of this very nature that the ways of man are left to not chance but unto a knowledge of right and truth. For man continues to prove this truth, and in this is his corrections of My love.
Oh world of man, ye glory in thyself, but soon thy glories shall be shaken , and the Mother of All Creation, will hear the whispers of My command. And in this she knows My voice and she will bring forth such a violent judgment that man will not know which to turn, and in this she will be of a righteousness that has kept the command of such a whisper. For she is akin to Me and it taketh only a whisper, and she is found worthy of righteousness and glory that will soon be her reward.
Oh ye that can hear, ye that can know, receive, receive Me and know Me. And in this is the relationship made pure and in this is the flowing love of Heaven brought forth in such abundance that ye will see in all glory the things that are soon upon thee. Be of good cheer and know these things that are coming forth. Even as some await, await in all diligence that ye are making the Kingdom of Heaven. Prepare ye the Kingdom of Righteousness and in this preparation ye will not be lost. Do thy work with a sense of urgency and know that this work is of a creation that will merge with the work of the Heavens, and this work is not lost nor in vain. So prepare thyselves for that which speedily cometh, and work as if ye have no end.
Oh ye that receive Me, know My love and know My will that is in all righteousness before thee. Follow, submit, and know, and ye will be of good cheer of the goodness that will cover thee as a protection in all of the clamoring of chaos. Know Me in this and ye shall have a peace unto thy righteousness.”
March 24, 2016 Thursday (7:25 am)
I’ve let myself sleep in and wake up naturally. As I woke I was confused and wasn’t sure if I had been told to ‘Write’ earlier when I woke; as I am waking in a fog and fighting getting sick. I’m in that titter-totter stage when you are not too sure which way it is going to go, and that is how today is about writing. In a state of uncertainty until I heard a clear, “Yes write, I will speak on your faith and trust.” Now breathing to help find some clarity and for the Spirit’s flow…
“My son, My son for thou art weak because of the very effects of staying up late and partaking of the television. For as ye still slept in thy chair it is not the same as letting your body rest in a natural sleep and the ye feel the guilt of misconduct and the misfortune of a weakened immune to fight thy battles of health and life. For have ye not questioned thy way? And ye still struggle with the simple and ye desire to achieve the more complex.
Oh My son, Ye want to trust, but do not truly desire and trust. Therefore let Me speak on desire and trust. For often as My children come unto Me it is in a half desire, a desire not fully developed. For the words of the mind speak of desire but the actions of the heart speak of fear. For when one steps upon the path of commitment, one does so with the mind and heart of/in a half developed state, as the mind and will are still battling the ways and pulls of a world that is diverse and opposed to the ways of Heaven and God. So as a soul that is steeped and immersed in a culture of man, then tries to adopt/adapt a culture of God it is here that the pulls of world and Heaven come into play. And the world of man are full of the complexities of ease and desire. For last night thy intention was to rest from the world, but ye ended up taking in more of the world through the visuals of the news, which gives thee concern, and even the ways of man as ye soon fell asleep and did succumb to the exhaustion of sleep. But it was not a true rest of the body and complete rest of the mind as ye sought. So can ye not see the half truths of desire? For ye told thyself that ye wanted rest and ye received not the true rest needed because of the ease of desire for the world. And so even as it is in this, so it is with the ways and things of the Spirit. For a man/person comes before Me with a desire, but it is a half desire, as the ways of the world still has its pulls and effects in the mind. And ye knoweth, that he who fights against Me, has mastered his affects of desire and influence through the very thing that he has man addicted, the television, the ease of plugging the mind into the thoughtless programming. For even Mine own are of this programming and see not the folly. For it has become a culture of ease, and in this the adversary of wills is battling and winning, as he plays upon the desire of mindful rest from a world of chaos and commitment. And thus the mind is plugged in and ye receive a false desire of rest. And it is here that the half desire is observed. And it is here that we see that man, even ye, desires ease. For a world of complexity, is there no escape but to have the ease of hypnotic programming? For ye saw that there is no rest/ease in reading and the various other things of progress. But as ye grow tired and the need of rest then partake of the rest that is true, true to the body’s desire/need. But in all of this is the observations of half desires, and it is even in the mind and heart as man comes before Me. For man desires ease and in this are the worldly pulls given a footing in spirit. For what truly is needed is discipline; discipline of mind and will that is the product of desire. For as ye come before Me in want, ye have desire, but it is a desire not fully developed. For in want is the desire of ease, as the child comes unto the parent wanting something and desiring for the parent to produce. And of course the child has not thought through the ways to achieve because of the desire of ease. And it is of a goodly parent to teach the child the ethic of work and achievement; and in some instances the gift of giving, to a humble need and want. But even as the child desires so it is with man as he comes before Me. Ye spiritually want for desire of ease. Ye want to be purged, lifted up, and given the reward of Spirit without the work and sense of achievement. Oh ye entitled children of ease, where is the work of achievement? And then ye wonder why ye are not lifted up in the spirit of thy desire. Yes, there is grace and there is gifting, but ye must build thy faith through thy desire, and thy desire through thy faith. For even as ye are of both then ye begin to achieve the fullness of desire that is held deep within the heart. For when I speak of coming before Me in a fullness of heart it is this very thing, a heart that is complete in desire.
And I hear your mind asking, ‘How to achieve this fullness of heart?’ And I say unto thee, ‘A fullness of heart is achieved by complete obedience.’ An obedience that is not of half desires, but ye come before me in complete desire that is void of ease and desires of the world. A commitment/covenant that is complete in the pure love of desire. Of whatever it takes, ye are willing to do; that is pure love. Oh My son, be not discouraged for ye know that the way before Me is full of half desires as ye build complete desire. But know ye this, then ye begin to see the truth of desire and want. Then ye can begin to perceive thy half desires that ye were blind. Blinded still by the ways of the world as ye come before Me in want.
Oh My children, I am a God of grace and of love, but how would I serve thee to just lift thee up? How would ye know the depth of achievement? How would ye pay the price? For the atonement makes all things possible, clears the way for this very achievement made possible, but there is always the price of achievement. And this price is complete desire, a desire that is of a full heart unto Me. So know these things as ye come before Me in thy desires. Search thy hearts and know of which is want and which is a developed desire of pure love. Oh My children and son, be ye not discouraged in this but be ye aware. Let the half truths still come before Me, as ye build thyself in a fullness of desire. Let your hearts not turn from Me, but come before Me in a willingness of refinement. And in this willingness ye will find the discipline that will overcome the desire of ease. For ease is a desired state unto the perfected soul of true desire. Be ye not discouraged for all is not struggle as ye build your way before Me. The ease of Spirit will fall upon thee to give thee hope and a taste of what cam be. Lift thy hearts unto Me and I will make thee whole. Rest in Me and I will purify thee. Come unto Me in a fullness and ye will be lifted up. Offer thy will unto Me and ye shall be glorified in all things. Therefore want no more, but truly desire and ye shall have a fullness that is beyond the abundance experienced in this realm of duality. Peace My son and continue to build thy faith.”
March 27, 2016 Easter Sunday
This is a talk that I gave on Easter Sunday. I might share a brief experience…
As I and another sister of the ward, who were both asked to speak, were sitting up on the stand waiting for the Sacrament Meeting to begin, the Bishop approached us and ran through our timing and the schedule of the meeting. And if you know anything about me, you would know that I strongly dislike, leaning to the fear and hate side, of public speaking. I even have a hard time speaking up, to express a comment, in a class setting. So here I am up on the stand about ready to speak with my mind going blank as I am trying to run through my talk and as I also try to be attentive to the sister finishing up hers. As she does I am starting to panic because I release that if I stay true to what I have written it is longer than the left allotted time. So in the panic I am starting to try to figure out in my mind what I should cut out. And I say a silent prayer, “Lord, what shall I do?” And I immediately hear a strong, “Stand steady.” I heard it repeat two more times and it was then that I trusted what I heard as I stood to speak and I do as the Lord instructed. The Heavens continued to bless as I opened my mouth and began to speak it flowed out without my reading it and my mind was clear in my remembering the sequential order of the talk. And to my gratitude and amazement as I looked up at the clock after saying, “Amen”, it was exactly at the ending time as the Bishop had counseled us. I continue in gratitude for a supportive and even loving Heaven that blesses as we submit even in the things that we fear and dislike as we do His bidding.
“The Light and Friendship of Christ”
A talk given Easter 2016
My dear brothers and sisters, I am in great humility as I have been asked to speak on this auspicious day. A day when the entire Christian world is coming together as a whole to give honor to the Lord of Heaven and earth, our Redeemer and Savior, even the risen Christ. And in this humility I pray for the Holy Spirit to be upon me and upon you that we might share an oneness in that Spirit and have born to us the truths of the Heavens. For as I was asking the Lord what to focus upon for this talk I heard, “The light and friendship of Christ.” As I prayed about it and began to study it I broke the phrase into two parts the first part, Light, and the second, friendship. With each of these I turned to the dictionary, and found this definition of light… “The natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible.” I then turned to the Bible dictionary, which led me to “The light of Christ” and was surprised at what I learned. And now reading from that definition,,,
“The light of Christ is just as the words imply: enlightenment, knowledge, and an uplifting, ennobling, persevering influence that comes upon mankind because of Jesus Christ. For instance, as found in Doctrine and Covenants 93, Christ is “the true light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world.” The light of Christ fills the “immensity of space” and is the means by which Christ is able to be “in all things and is through all things, and is around all things.” It “giveth life to all things” and is the “law by which all things are governed.” It is also the “light that quickenth” man’s understanding. In this manner the light of Christ is related to man’s conscience and tells him right from wrong. The light of Christ should not be confused with the personage of the Holy Ghost, for the light of Christ is not a personage at all. Its influence is preliminary and preparatory to one’s receiving the Holy Ghost. The light of Christ will lead the honest soul who hearkeneth to the voice.”
Up until now I had a vague understanding of the light of Christ I knew it involved conscience and the Holy Ghost, but I never realized that the light of Christ is Christ’s personal voice, giving us personal revelation to help us find truth and lead us to Him. Many of you have heard my earlier talks, as I have mentioned in those talks, I was a seeker of truth and while being in the mire of life I heard His voice and began to follow His voice until just three years ago, the day before Easter, I was baptized. And in that baptism took upon myself the name of Jesus Christ as a promise to follow Him. And as we just did and do every Sunday renew that promise with the holy and scared sacrament.
Brothers and Sisters, I love how the Heavens work! Several weeks ago I was given this phrase. And then as I was sitting in Stake Conference it was supported by President Hansen’s talk on knowing the voice of Christ. Then as I opened the March issue of the Ensign, and as I thumbed through I came upon Elder Lawrence’s message, “The Light of the Perfect Day” where he says that accumulating, as much light as we can is the key to successfully passing this test of mortality. He also quotes Doctrine and Covenants 50:24, “That which is of God is light, and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light, and that light growth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.” And he says, “ Eternal progress simply means increasing in light.”
And further showing the importance of Christ’s light, as He appeared in all His resurrected glory to the peoples of this continent, He chose the words of introduction, “I am the Light and Life of the world.”
This brings us to the second part of the phrase, “Friendship of Christ.” And as I looked up friend in the dictionary it reads, “A person you like and enjoy being with. One attracted to another by affection or esteem, and finally, a favored companion.” As I pondered this further I came to the realization that we are all born into roles of son and daughter, brother and sister, and even Christ taking on the role of Savior and Redeemer, a gift for all; but a friendship is of choice and is grown by spending time. You know when my mother passed I was a son to my father, but over the last ten years as we have spent time together, I can now say that he is my friend. And it is in this spending time with Christ and truly desiring Him that we can build this friendship with Him. For the scriptures speak of Abraham being a friend of God, and Christ in the Doctrine and Covenants on several occasions addresses the receivers of a number of revelations as “Friends.” And even on Christmas, Patriarch Lund from this pulpit spoke of Christ being his friend.
So how do we become a friend of Christ? To many of us it might seem daunting even overwhelming and next to impossible. And it might even take on a picture of a mountain standing between He and us. But it is step after step that the mountain is climbed, following His voice and adding light unto us. And we might be surprised, even as Moses turned the corner of the mountain to see the flaming bush, as we turn a corner we might even behold our shining Brother calling to us friend.
Brothers and Sisters, over these last few years the Lord has taught me and even given me some tools, and I would like to share three of them with you to help us as we attempt to climb that mountain. I am pretty simple so He has broken things down to its simplest form.
The first tool that I would like to share, He taught me as I was reconciling my life to Him is …“That in every thought, every action and every deed we are either adding light to us or we are taking light away from us.” (Repeat) and now as we just learned that it is His voice speaking to us through the light of Christ, helping us to know what will add light or take light away in finding our way to Him.
The second tool is… “That desire and obedience go hand in hand, they dove tail into each other. As a carpenter builds a piece of furniture he will dovetail the corners for strength. And there is strength in desire and obedience. For the Heavens have taught me that if you are lacking desire then obey, and if you are lacking obedience build your desire. He also taught me that desire is the greeter at the door while obedience opens Heaven’s door; and with each of those working together will give us strength and lead us to Him.
And the third tool is my newest and possible one of the greatest tools or truths. As I was helping with the funeral plans of Sister M. H. I was sitting with her daughter, and as she spoke of her mother she shared a statement or phrase that she said her mother lived by; a phrase that when I heard it I grasped it to me and have clung onto the phrase as my newest truth. A tool, that will help us build Zion, and in becoming a Zion people as we have been commanded. A tool that will help us as we come together, as we bump into each other’s issues. A tool of strength and forgiveness the phrase being… “I refuse to be offended.” For offense hits us as quick as lightening and grabs hold of us, and as quickly as we feel our offense we can quickly repeat to ourselves, “I refuse to be offended.” And by doing so defeat one of the adversary’s greatest weapons against God’s people. And continue to add light to ourselves and the other person, as we come together to build each other up in the Lord.
Brothers and Sisters, if we continually add light to ourselves, desire Him and obey His voice to us there is nothing that can stand between He and us. In closing I would like to share a verse that I came across…
“Oh ye My children, deny thyselves no more the glory that is yours, but believe and begin to behold the glory that can be. Therefore be ye even as perfect as ye can be and continue to add light upon light until ye shine even as Me. And then step into My presence as ye shine with Me and be one in a perfect order before God, and be His child again in His presence. Be of good cheer and shine forth thy light unto the world, and know Me even as I am.”
I leave you my witness, with all the prophets and the saints down through the ages, that I know that Jesus is the Christ, He came for each of us, laid His life down only to take it up again to ascend unto the Father, and I leave you my witness … that He is coming. And as every knee shall bow and confess that He is the Christ. May our trembling be not of fear and shame, but trembling in a fullness of joy as He bids us to rise and embrace us as a friend. I say these things humbly in His holy name, even Jesus Christ. Amen.
Just a note…
The strong directive from the Lord, “Stand steady.” reminded me of the instruction in the March 11, 2016 writing. Where I was expressing my fears of concern of how to hear the Lord’s voice in the chaos that will be about us. Well, there was certainly chaos in my mind as I was trying to figure out what to do with my talk with the time allotted. And as the Lord promised in the previous writing of, ‘an outpouring of Spirit’ to be able to hear in the chaos, so I experienced what He taught. The “Stand steady” was so clear and strong there was no question in my mind of the source. Once again an opportunity for gratitude for all the Heavens are outpouring!
April 1, 2016 Friday (6:07 am)
I have now woken up twice and each time asking the Lord to help me go back to sleep, because of a stressful week of my father being in the hospital. The long hours of sitting and waiting, the stress of the unknown, have left me exhausted. Each time I have woken up I have offered a prayer that I might return to a ‘divine sleep… sleeping in the Lord’ and each time I immediately fell back asleep. This time in waking I woke in a feeling of gratitude and in this gratitude I heard, “Write.” So pen in hand and breathing, preparing for the flow of Spirit…
“Oh My son, it is in the wisdom of the Heavens that ye should receive counsel, and the wisdom of things to come and things to be. For as the ways of the world progress in the unholiness of sin, and fallen unto the enticings of he who fights against Me, the light of truth and right begins to dim and the very things that this country were founded upon are slipping into an obscure understanding of Heaven and God. For it is of a divine nature that was given birth and it is now that divine nature that has been seen as ‘passé’ and of a counter intelligence. For if one is a ‘free thinking and intelligent individual’, you are not a ‘religious person but a spiritual person’, that the ‘things of religion are limiting’ and a ‘drag on society’. And in these words are the thinkings of a nation gone blind and loosing the sight of God. For even in thy associations is there not a sense of the ‘new religion’ which is of freedom and of metaphysics, of worlds without limitations and the confines of the old religious world. The ‘falling away of the old pyridine and being birthed into a new pyridine of light’? And in this there is truth but let Me now say unto thee, ‘How can God divorce Himself? How can the Lord God of All Creation give way unto the orders of counsels of align myths? How can the imaginings of such be given the truths of My hand, when the truth is not of an entirety of understanding? For even as man creates his own understandings and religions, where is the mark of God? Where is the authenticity that has given birth of order and right?’ For man wants freedom, without the restrictions of discipline, and the laws of the very order that the worlds were designed. For even within this My church are the very imaginations of misunderstandings, that are not taught but imagined. But it is not a negative thing to stretch the thinkings and to ponder such wonders. But it is then to call upon God for the wisdoms and asking for the Holy Spirit of God to bear witness and counsel, but man does not want the counsel of a restricting God of law and order. Man does not want the discipline required to achieve such heights as their imaginings take them. And in this they have gone blind by their own blinded sight, for the free thinkers of progress are blinded by their own blinders that they wear. For they cannot see their course of a nonproductive state of mind. For how can one ask of light and forget the source of the light? How can the Light of Creation, the Creator, be given way unto the creations of their own religions and gods? For they seek a religion created of their own understandings, and create gods of worship of their own understandings. And even some have made science their new god. For am I passé and outdated? Am I a creation of a past generation that lived in fear and governed by an old pyridine?
Oh ye My children, the teenager thinks his ways are more evolved and enlightened than the parents. What parent has not known this very child? And what child has not fallen into these very thinkings only to find the mark of truth not far from goodly parents? The cycles of growth continue even as the view is brought into a realm of sight that involves the entirety of man. Oh ye that cannot humble thyselves unto the law, will soon know a law that will lead thee back unto the ways of humbleness. And it is the law that has corrected My children of the past and it is the law of the present soon to be revealed, the law of fear and judgment. For man does not understand this law, which is a law of balance. For man thinketh that the view of God is one of a God of vengeance, seeking to harm and destroy man in a whim. But it is of a heavy heart that the law of balance is brought forth against My children, and it is this order that the law is enacted for the wisdom to unfold. For does the teenage child consult the wisdom of the parent as the teenager seeks independence and freedom? Nay. And does a generation that has grown beyond the confines of the past seek the wisdoms of the past? Nay. And in this has the theologies of man been given the light of their own understandings without the truth and seal of Mine hand.
Oh ye My children, soon ye will be crying out My name and know not where to find Me. But it is in a humbled heart that the heart of man can hear and know My voice, and it is in this humbling that ye will receive Me. Oh, how I could be received without such humbling, but in a world of chaos the teenager of seeking cannot hear, nor desires, the truth of a parent that knows from experience the wisdoms of truth. Oh ye My children, open to the truths that are soon upon thee and hear My word and know My love. For even as ye behold such heartache, then shall ye be humbled into a state of humble reception. Close not thy hearts in bitterness, but open unto a Heaven that is of a balance and order. And in this is the love of a God that ye seek and know. For what goodly parent does not want the child astray to come unto the home of their heart? And so it is and will be as ye humble thyselves again, Mine arms will be opened wide in a reception of love, as the child of pain and misfortune seeks the love of a Parent waiting to bless. Be of good cheer and know Me in My love.”
April 6, 2016 Wednesday (6:05 am)
I woke earlier and heard, “Write, I would speak with thee.” And in my exhaustion slipped back into that twilight stage of sleep. As I just woke again with a groggy mind and remembering that I was requested to write, praying for the Spirit and a clear mind to hear as I could easily fall back asleep. Breathing… now deep breathing with some coaching of encouragement from Spirit as a jolt of energy shoots through me as I begin to come into more clarity.
“Oh My son, thou art blessed. Blessed in the ways of the Lord and blessed to be of an ear to hear, even My voice. For in these things ye know Me and in these things ye hear Me. For even in this ye also hear the influences of the wicked one, and it is upon thy focus that ye stay attuned. For even as ye were in My embrace and ye were pulled, and in My whisper, ‘Stay with Me.’ And so it is today, ‘Stay with Me.’ For as ye are focused the words that form in thy mind ye are focused of the Spirit, and in this focus ye know the will of God and Lord of thy heart. And in this I am well pleased. And even then ye became aware of the image that almost took you into a dream state. Ye thinketh that it is of thee in the natural state of the mind, but the image of the chandelier of glimmer was an attempt to thwart My will. Even in this ye can see the craftiness of his intention. Oh ye that are non-believers of his influence (as ye once were), ye are caught in his web of deception. For as ye become awakened ye begin to view the very pulls for thee, as ye consider it simply to be of the mind. Oh ye believers of nothing, ye are played as a marionette with the strings of disbelief ye are controlled. For as ye begin to awaken to the influences of play ye begin to awaken and see the true state of the human experience. For there are pulls of influence all about you and it is upon the focus that ye begin to act, and know, and experience. For even as the Spirit of Enlightenment is with thee ye still have choice, and in this choice ye are free to choose. For as ye focus in on the Light, ye then have the wonderful opportunity to choose in your freedom of expression. And in that freedom ye have the opportunity to add more light unto thyself. Oh ye that know not this, are caught in the strings of the marionette.
Oh the joys of Spirit and Grace, that allows such a freedom. Oh ye wonderers of creation, ye know not the true gift upon which ye stand. For wars have been fought for this very gift, and ye stand in complete freedom to choose with every thought and action. And it is here that I would speak concerning thy guilt as ye heard the promptings of right, and knowingly chose the food of comfort. And ye even pay the price as ye were up late and struggle now, because of thy grogginess, even as ye come before Me now. For ye can see the self-defeating effects of such behavior.
For ye even now begin to see the addictive state of the mind in thy stress. For even as ye were not of a hunger of the body, but ye still hungered for comfort. And that is where the process began. It is of a deception to just think that it was just a physical craving and a response. For all cravings begin in the mind and then become physical. For ye think that it is of the realm of physicality, but the physicality of the mind starts before the human cravings begin. And what was your enlightened thought last night as ye prayed? Ye truly desired thy head upon My bosom. And can ye now see the true desire is not the substance of choice, but the true emotion of desire to be fulfilled? For ye were of a need of emotional and mental relief, and in this need of desire the mind then begins to choose the programming of relief. For even now ye can see the warring ways that ye have acted out this very need of comfort of the heart, that becomes the physical needs of addiction. For yes, ye are addicted to thy comforts for thy pains of relief, and as ye are now awakened ye have a choice to be of a consciousness to act. For in all of thy deep desires of cravings are pulls of this very seed of need. Know ye this and ye begin to know and see thy freedom. For thy freedom is in the awareness of light and love. For as ye feel the pull, ye now know the need of love. For is this not the need of all that act out the desire of addiction? Is this not the cure for all the abuses of life? Oh ye world of man, know this and ye are free! Know this and ye begin to see the light of thy choosings. But even as ye become aware what wilt ye do? What wilt ye choose at the point of trigger? For where will ye find the source to fill the void? Oh ye My children, turn to thy Father of Goodness and Love. For as ye are made aware of choice ye then know the wonder that is about thee. For know, truly know this and ye are free. Know this and ye can break any bond/band of the addictive mind. Oh ye that are burdened know My love, oh ye that are heavy feel My love. Oh ye that know the continuing overwhelm of life experience My love. For come unto Me and ye will begin to receive the very desire that ye know not to fill. For My love will show thee the way and give thee a joy even in those times when the body of cravings is giving thee heed. For know this and lay thy head upon My bosom and know that which ye are lacking… love.
Oh My blessed son, know this very love and ye know the greatness of joy. So be ye therefore blessed and be ye a true vessel ready to receive. For it is the mind that will tell thee, ‘It is not real.’ But I say unto thee, ‘There are levels of perception and depths of realities that man knoweth not. For My bosom is for all willing to receive. For the mind speaks of unworthiness, and even in thy desires, did I not hold thee even tighter to Me? For My children, seek My bosom and ye will know a love that will comfort thee. A fullness that ye are lacking and even craving to be filled. Oh world of man, know this, learn this, and be free! Know the depth of love that is for each of thee, and know Me even as I am. Know that My bosom is for all, even in thy pains and even in thy unworthiness. For how is one made worthy but the true experience of love, My love. For is it not this very love that sustains all life and even thee at this very moment? Can ye not see this very need for each, and even thyself? For what keeps thee from Me? The very strings of the marionette that tells thee that ye are unworthy. That the truth of realities is only of the physical. Oh ye that are caught in these lies of perceptions, lay thy head upon Me and know the love that will heal thee, as ye know not. For the world turns to the physical, but I call forth unto thee to look to the Spiritual and be healed. For are not all things Spirit, and is this not the realm of all beginnings? So ye wonder of such and know not the truth, that the physical is Spirit made manifest. So come unto Me and allow Me to teach thee and show thee the way. Let My light shine upon thee and enlighten thy mind in truth and right. And even as ye begin to believe and open unto other realms, know that it is of light that ye seek. And who is the father of all light? For seek ye Me, and then ye come unto the Father of All Goodness, even the Almighty, who is even in Me. So come forth and lay thy head upon Me and be healed.
Oh ye world of man, know Me and know the source of all life. For I am the light and life of the world.”
An outpouring prayer…
“Oh Father, thank You for this wisdom, and thank You for thy bosom that is made available for all. Oh Father, allow this truth to call forth to us in our times of need and let our hearts be healed again. For in my awakened state I can see Thy light, Thy love. Oh Father shine forth and draw us nigh, for our heads to rest, and our hearts be healed again.”
As I slid from my bed to my knees with this prayer, I could feel my heart begin to generate a great source of love directed to the Heavens. This energy of love, which shot forth out of me, up through my body and out my crown chakra up to the Heavens. This very energy was then joined in the radiance of Heaven and shot back down to me as my physical body was being jolted with the intensity. As the Heavenly response came into my heart it burst out in a linear fashion, radiating light out into all those I love and pray for, and then burst forth out into the world. It seemed like a new way of prayer, a prayer of energy and intention without the need for words. A vessel for light… an experience of awe.
April 15, 2016 Friday (5:15 am)
As I just woke up, I said in waking, “Father, I love you.” And in immediate response I heard, “Thou hearst My voice.” Which was a very clear answer to my waking earlier with the light of the lamp glaring in my face, and as I got up to turn the lamp off I had a slight impression to write. But in my exhaustion and uncertainty I went back to sleep. As I have mentioned many times in the past that I never want the writings to come from me but am always awaiting the command of the Lord to write. So often I will side with the uncertainty with sleep, but with this last response there was no question. So breathing for clarity of the Spirit as I wait and listen for the words to form in my mind …
“Oh My son, thou hast heard My voice in the clarity of the response and in this ye have heard the words of My love. And the sound of My voice is upon thy mind as ye obey and respond. For as ye hear these words ye know the of love of the Heavens and ye know the words that ye may not choose to know and receive. And in this is the discipline of the counsels of love. For as ye are of My word and love then ye are of the truth of My discipline. For thy anger towards thy father, even not spoken, has been felt and has dampened thy spirit of love. Ye have not expressed and in this ye think that because not spoken that ye are justified, and in this ye have made wrong the man of fear. For can ye not remember thy own fears of life, and in those fears were there not two patient fathers? Even as he was impatient in his own frustration of his own ability to be of a father of certainty. And even as ye knealt asking for patience in his aged fears of life, ye have been of a spirit of a hardened heart. Even though the words have not been directly expressed to him, ye are not as adapt as he in keeping thy feelings unknown. For in these very thoughts ye have been impatient, and ye have not relinquished the light of love to flow. And in this ye are made darkened, which is of delight of the forces that work to bind thee. Yes I hear thy question of …
“Then what do I do with the raw emotion that comes up from within me?”
Ye do as ye have done, not letting it be voiced, but ye also work against the forces that fan the embers of smoldering, and ye change thy focus and return to the light. For as ye not stuff thy frustration, but return to the light of love as thy focus, ye will be able to feel more love flowing in thy tightness of expression.
The words are of a struggle to hear, because ye justify that ye have not spoken and ye have not acted out, but can ye not see and know that ye are tightened? And in this ye have restricted the flow of light, and in this it is felt. And in this ye have been of a sharpness that ye carry as justified. For thy own acknowledgement, in thy prayers for help, have reached Me. And I now say unto thee, ‘Release the tightness that keeps thee bound, and focus again on My love.’ And let the frustration flow with the light focused and ye will release the darkness that keeps thee bound. For this is not denial of thy feelings, as modern therapy cautions, but a clear choosing of the light. For modern therapy does not consider the forces of darkness that are at work against a world that is caught in justification. For as ye think ye have a right unto feelings, and must not relinquish them in fears of denial and burying them. Ye do not see the forces of darkness that keeps the smoldering of binding anger. For as ye release and choose to carry light, ye are not of denial, but of choice. But the world wants to justify and hold, and I have said and continue to say, turn thy cheek and allow no more the forces of darkness to bind and divide. For this binding of heart is a division of unification of the oneness that ye seek, and the Heavens wait to be bestow.
Be of good cheer for are thy prayers not answered? For let not thy self frustration bind thee in guilt, nor the frustration of others bind thee. But simply choose to release and flow with the light of love, and ye will be of a goodness of heart again.
Oh ye My children of learning, learn in this… that ye are always of choice, even when the emotions are raw and want to be released. Ye can be a smoldering ember waiting to bust into a flame, or ye can release unto Me and let the love of My light return to thy hearts and feel the goodness of love again. For your angers of life does not stand justified as ye flow with the goodness of heart. Be ye therefore of light and allow that which keeps thee bound fall away unto love.
Blessings My son, as ye are of a slight adjustment and soon ye will flow again in thy heart, which is not whole. Peace and carry Me in all ways, and in all thy choices, as ye learn to navigate the emotions of life.”
Father forgive me as I learn the art of love.
April 16, 2016 Saturday (6:36 am)
Perhaps here I should fill you in on what has been happening over the last several days, so you can better understand these latest writings. I have been struggling with the very darkness of the advisory, and I am beginning to come through to the other side. It began about a week ago, as the Lord has referred in the past to the advisory and his minions as jackals, last Sunday a brother at church directed some frustration toward me, and it caused some irritation within me but I thought I was pretty good in controlling this irritation with my newest tool, ‘I refuse to be offended.’ But as the week progressed I could feel the nipping of the jackals increase, because at work there are some employee issues that caused me to burn with anger, as I detected more nipping and biting of those very minions. As I watched the light of the Heavens begin to diminish within me as I carried more anger and frustration. In my earlier writings, I was counseled of how anger is one of the quickest ways to sever our connection to the Heavens, as I was once again becoming aware. It was about Wednesday into the week when I talked to my father and he informed me that he was backing out of our plans to fly to Arizona for my niece’s wedding. Which heaped more frustration onto the already smoldering anger, and adding to it with tickets purchased and the efforts to get things ready, not to say the disappointment of a granddaughter that is very close to him. So by this time the cloud of darkness was heavy around me and I could feel myself spiraling downward as I was frustrated with life, but mostly frustrated with myself because it felt like I had no control over my emotions which were flaring up at every turn. And as Thursday came I was further weighted by my birthday which triggered past childhood issues. All of these are manageable by themselves, but as they all were heaped upon the embers of anger I could feel myself on edge and even commented to myself through the week that it felt like I was going into depression, and I felt like I had no control over what was happening to me. Well, as Friday rolled around and still feeling this weight of darkness, all day I was kept busy by work, which was a good thing, but now it was late at night as I was headed home. As I was driving the fast lane, next to the meridian wall, I heard a voice within my mind say, “Just drive into the wall.” And again as it repeated I recognized the voice of darkness and released some of the pent up anger on it with some provocative adjectives. As I soon arrived home exhausted and lacking any will. I retreated to the television, and did the Adam and Eve thing of hiding (At least I did make a better choice by turning to the Science channel). As I was avoiding everything by numbing out with the streaming programming of the television, it was now about two o’clock in the morning and I was forced to my ritual of prayer by the need of sleep. As I went to my knees before climbing into bed, I was finally forced into a humble submission of honesty, as I exclaimed to the Lord that I didn’t know what to do as I was in the darkness and I could find no way out. In my weak and humbled state I head a brief and clear message, “Cast out and cast off.” It was here that I summoned some resolve, raising my hand to the square and used the Holy Priesthood and the power of the holy name, Jesus Christ. It was upon the third time that I repeated the words of ‘casting off and out’ that I could feel the darkness lift and the light, that I had been missing for days, came rushing to me with the relief as if the very armed angels of Heaven were now doing my defending. I felt relief to feel the light of His love that had been absent as my heart spoke a praise of gratitude.
As I have reviewed this next writing and as it was spoken to me, I could hear the counsels of a loving Heaven teaching me and giving me understanding as He speaks of my being ‘Thrust to the very gates of hell.’ Even now a few days after and I still feel a little unsteady and exhausted from a week of intense torment, but ever grateful for a loving Heaven that is waiting with the light of love.
The writing of April 16th …
As I awoke I heard, “My son I would speak with thee.” Breathing, because it has been a rough night and needing the clarity of Spirit…
“Yes My son, thou were thrust to the very gates of hell and ye now know the torment of those besieged by the wicked one. For thou were weakened by the internal conflict of thy past and the internal struggle of expectation, desire and hurt; which compounded as ye knew and were dealing. And even as ye were weakened, did ye not feel the darkness creep into thy every thought and ye could feel thyself not only spiraling downward, but even being dragged as ye were besieged by the forces of evil? Oh My son, have no conflict for thy outburst to Me, for thou were in the conflict and ye were in the very need of help. But as a loving and all-knowing Father needed to allow the very gates of hell to have thee, as ye went through this test of mortality. As thy will and desire needed to have a chance of choice. And ye, in thy torment, came through triumphant. For in those very depths ye broke the chains of he who fights against Me, and ye were freed as ye focused and called upon the light, the very source of all light, even My name. Oh ye that struggle with depression, obsessions of every kind, the darkness that clouds the mind… call upon My name and begin to bring the very light of My love into thy focus and ye will see the relief and then feel/fill the very light before thee. Bring the very light into thy body, through the breathing of light, and receive thy relief by casting off and out all darkness that is beset thee. And in this ye shall find thy relief as the forces of light and love will come to defend in thy choice and war of wills. Oh My son, these are the very forces of evil that ye were carrying, and the very thoughts of destruction that were spoken into thy mind.
Oh My son, see ye not the very testing that My Father allowed Me, as the wicked one was allowed his torment? But in thy weakness ye were seized and tormented to great depths of even avoiding the very source of thy relief. But it was with great desire as ye were on thy knees that ye regained thy sight and aligned in the squareness of My love, and ye were able to grasp hold of the love known and shown unto thee.
Oh ye My children, know this that the wicked one will always be given his due or chance, and in this is the scale of justice brought into balance. But be aware of thy weaknesses and infirmities of spirit and mind. For it is in these that he will use and thrust his will and might to bring thee down. For as ye witnessed, My son, it was with thought upon thought, feeling upon feeling that the darkness crept into thee until your thinking and judgment were altered, and thy course and source of focus was changed. And in this very weakness the minions of evil were taking hold of thy very soul. Ye were aware of being off as ye would cry out unto Me, but thy will was not sufficiently given its purpose before Me. And ye were in a half will which was not sufficient for the Armies of Light to step in and save thee from their torment. Oh can ye not see the respect of choice, as the Armies of Light and Love patiently await the will made sufficient? Oh ye that struggle and are tormented, know ye this that it is thy will and choice that is clearly and respectfully honored. That ye must choose with thy will that is sufficient that ye will be protected from such a besiege. For as ye have heard and now continue to know the war of Heaven and hell is surely still being fought. And it is in every soul that must stand for what is of choice. Be ye therefore guarded in thy actions and thought, continually focused upon Me and My love, the peace of assuredness, as an Army of Light stands to protect and honor every choice, even as thy will is made known. So the very comfort of such an Army of Love, My love, be upon thee and for thee.
Oh My children, keep a vigilant eye upon Me and upon this very cause that is about thee. For did this not wake thee again unto the very importance of thy eye attuned? Be ye therefore made strong, even in this that ye may be made strong through thy experience; that ye might know the very signals that show thee to raise thy guard, and thy awareness, and to stay thy focus upon Me and My love. For as ye were taken thought upon thought, of feeling upon feeling that brought thee into a belief of unworthiness of thy anger and thoughts of injustice that led thee to these very depths. Oh My children, be of an a watchful eye upon these, your triggers of weakness. For it is here that the walls of thy defense are weakened and it is here that the besiege will be fought. Know this and ye know wisdom.
Therefore My son, raise thy sights from thy weakness of experience and to the great value of experience. For as ye continue to have these teaching experiences ye are made strong, and grow in such a strength that ye will be a valuable and mighty warrior when the battle of life is fought. For have ye not seen the truth of thy future? Are ye not in Priesthood robes of My honor? So Fear not the experiences of thy weakness, but know the strength of a fullness made strong. For even as ye are made strong, strengthen those about thee that ye might know the love of one another in the struggles of strength. For as ye do this ye build the strength of a bond that seals thee into the eternities as ye know now the love of such a sealing, even in Me. Be of good cheer as ye wage the war about thee, and know the triumph of love, and light, and honor. My love, light and honor is upon thee and I know thee as Mine.”
April 26, 2016 Tuesday (6:27 am)
I woke and tended to the wants of my cat and as I was doing so I heard, “Write.” Then followed by, “The balance of time.” I just came from my knees, asking for the Spirit to bless me and for the words to flow, if this writing is the desire of the Heavens. Breathing for clarity and connection…
“Oh My son, thou hast served Me well and in this thou art blessed. For ye have spoken of Me, and witnessed of Me, ye have carried the Spirit of love and in this is the light of My truth brought forth unto many. Oh ye that carry this light, My light, ye know Me and in this ye shall know My love which is for the world. Even as they turn a deafened ear to Me and harken unto the ways of he who fights against Me, and in this is the shift of time brought into it’s beginning. And in this is the tolerance of time made possible for those that await My coming, and in this is the world made whole. For as man draws from Me and the world begins the change that is soon upon her, she will moan and shake as never known, and in this is the beginning. The beginning of the end and of this, is of Me. For man calculates what has been, but I create what will be, and in this is a shift of what has been to what will be. For I Am that I Am. And it is in Me all beginnings and all endings into one time and space, which is God, the Creator and Father of All. For man sees only what is before him, but he does not know the realms of the unseen. The mysteries that are of Heaven.
Oh ye My children, come unto Me, submit unto Me and know Me even of this. Can ye not see that the realms are endless and without beginning? But ye of only one creation, which is of Me, but the creations of My Father are unseen and eternal. Oh ye world of man, ye seek not the eternal but the physical, and in this ye are limited unto thyself and thy own restrictions.
Oh ye My son, ye are of a mind to believe because ye see beyond what is of this realm and world. But ye see with limits because ye still question the validity of such sight. If ye would only trust in Me and thy vision, ye would see far beyond that which is known. But ye still limit thyself in thy own questioning mind, and in this ye are still focused on the things of the physical made spiritual.
Oh ye man, come unto Me that I might open the doors of all understanding. That your minds might be flooded with light of truth and understanding. That ye might know Me in righteousness and in this ye circumcise thyselves before Me and be of a light that is of the true force of all creation, the Light of Love, and in this is all understanding. Oh ye world of man, but ye still hearken unto the world of pleasures, and the world of opposition and in this ye are limited, limited in thy truths and understandings. For ye must rise above your limited sight and feel of My grace to begin to perceive such things.
Oh ye men of God, ye see but do not understand. It is only through Me that ye perceive the Father in all glory and honor, and in this is only the beginning of what can be. Oh open unto Me and come before Me in all humbleness, and ye will be given all that I have and in this are ye made whole before the Father and brought back before Him. And eternal is thy joy. Oh ye of limited faith, ye reason with the mind, but I ask you to reason of the heart and in this are the truths of all understanding revealed. Come unto Me, kneel before Me that I might know your heart and in this ye will be blessed beyond measure and understanding might be revealed. For limit not thy understanding in unworthiness, but open unto the righteousness that is the beginning of all creation. And in this ye will be brought forth unto a balance of time and step into the realms of Heaven, which is the very realm of God.
Oh My son, blessed are ye to hear, and blessed are ye to know, but even more blessed are ye to believe and come unto Me. For in all righteousness are ye made pure and whole.”
Even though things have been more quiet on the blog, the Heavens have been very much open over the last couple of weeks. This is an incredible time, even as the difficulties have been pressing down on me, yet there is a light that has been there through it all. I have been questioning in my mind, “Is the negative a byproduct of the positive, the workings of the scale of balance and giving the adversary his due time as the experiences of the Heavens have been so present and rich? Or perhaps the negative is like a rite of passage of which one must pass to prove oneself worthy of the next experience? The answer to which I am uncertain, but I am clear of my gratitude for a Heaven that is patient and steadfast as I am learning to be everything that the Lord desires even with all of my weaknesses and short-comings.
I would like to share some of my experiences over the last few weeks, and as always as I share these, I share in gratitude, humbleness and as a witness to a open Heaven. Over the last few weeks I have been to Arizona and upon my return went into the busy schedule of the Mother’s Day holiday. And while doing all of this trying to be attentive to the Spirit and the Heavens.
While I was in Arizona for my niece’s wedding, I was able to attend two sessions of the Gilbert and Mesa temples. Of course my sister is a force of light and spearheaded these temple visits. On our arrival in Arizona, she flying with her husband from Utah and I flying in from California, we made plans to meet up with my nephew and attend an evening session at the Gilbert temple. Well as situations take their own course her plane was delayed and my nephew had to attend to his wife of expectant twins, I ended up going alone. As I walked the temple grounds and took in the unique architecture, it spoke of its desert environment, as it looks like it is blossoming from the desert floor. With a majestic and yet softened floral motif, to me it looked like a spiritual fortress with its heavy stone work, which was a welcome sight, the House of God which I could find some refuge. I said a prayer of forgiveness as I entered the front doors of the temple. I was early and took my time in preparation for the soon sacred session that was to start, I sat in the chapel and partook to the Spirit that was present with tears flowing the energy began to move me with my usual jolts as I looked like any other person with a neurological disorder. The Spirit and jolts were present throughout the session and as I entered the Celestial room I was in a spiritual awe as I took in the beauty of the room with its massive and impressive crystal chandelier, and the light and elegant design of the room. I spotted a settee which was empty and secluded in a corner of the room where I could take in the Spirit with my accompanied jolts and be less noticed. As I slowly made my way to the awaiting settee and still taking in the splendor of the room I heard the sobs of a woman, a woman that was sitting with one of the male temple workers who had helped us through the session. As I saw them directly in front of me as he was giving her some support, and I assumed solace, I made my way to my secluded area of the room. As I was walking directly to them before my turn to take my seat, to my surprise my hand flew up into a mudra and I quickly made my way to the settee of my destination. As I eased back to take in the beauty of the room with the sound of continued sobs, I heard within my mind the words, “Tell her, her desire is granted.” The voice of Spirit so clear and audible that I did not even question it being my own thinking but questioned the timing of how to deliver such a message. I suddenly found myself getting up and kneeling before both of them and turning to the temple worker and asking in a whisper, “I know that you are not to receive revelation for other people but may I share what I just received?” As he nodded his approval I turned my attention to her and voiced the message as she took my hand in both of hers and sincerely said, “Thank you.” I then got up without any further communication and returned to my seat and to continue to see the beauty before me. As I was pondering this experience, the majestic chandelier, and the continued temple motif of the agave blossom depicted in the room, the same temple worker came over to me and whispered, “Thank you for sharing.” And I was left again to reflect on the continued beauty before me and the awe of my temple experience.
My sister and I flew in several days before the wedding to help execute my niece’s plans, and we were busy scrambling about getting things ready. I would have let another trip to the temple go by the wayside in all of the hustle and bustle, but my sister is an optimist and found a way to carve out another piece of time, the day before the wedding to attend a session together with her son and me. We decided to attend the Mesa temple so to let me experience another Arizona temple. As we walked its grounds, it was showing its age as it was smaller in scale, built in the early 1900’s, but still impressive of its beauty in the matured gardens and architecture. As we entered you could see the older modest grandeur, but still the same Spirit of the House of God. And again I sat quietly beside my sister in the chapel as we awaited my nephew and for the session to begin. During the session I experienced a large jolt as I became aware of the person that I was attending the session for, in proxy. I could not see him in detail but with a knowingness knew who he was, as he beaconed me to follow. My body was in the session, and my spirit-self was then traveling with him up the familiar steps before the large massive gates that have been so present over the last several months. We entered the gates and to the left, I was now aware of a building that I have only sensed but it was now in my consciousness, still without detail, but of a knowingness of sight. It has been experience upon experience that the pieces are coming together of a grand view of this area. Years ago in Peru I traveled in the portal to Spirit Would and experiencing my mother and other members of my family. And it has been revealing itself through varied experiences, as I have shared a couple of years ago the view of the steps and the gates and the Light blessing the objects placed. And these gates being the very entrance that I have seen my beloved Savior and Lord pass to give me an embrace as recently shared and mentioned by Him in the writings several weeks back. These are the same gates that house the large courtyard (that then I could sense a building but could see only a narrow view as if I had blinders on) that I have spoken, where the Tree of Life is present and I witnessed the beautiful architecture of manicured gardens and flowing water of light. These are the very same gates that I now have passed with my beaconing friend as he now showed me within the building an oval seating area, which upon seeing it reminded me of the balcony of the Salt Lake Tabernacle, on Temple Square. The Tabernacle, I think because it was my only reference of my own experience. Now seeing this oval seating area which was open in the center with light radiating upward through the opening of the ringed seating. Again with a knowingness it felt like all those attending were sitting in clear view of the experience of their proxy and the work being done for them. All of this knowingness of sight was gone as I now aware again of the session in which I was sitting and the work of my new friend, which he was now accepting with this permissioned gift of sight. Finishing the session and I walked into the view of the celestial room and seeing my sister and her son sitting on a sofa with a place for be beside them. As I walked to take my seat beside them I again was aware of this modest grandeur in the comparison of the newer temples. But still radiating the Spirit of which I was just a witness, a Spirit that bridges realities, dimensions and planes. And little did I know just how true this bridge, as I now sat and pondered my experience of the session. In quiet reverence we three sat, but it was in this reverence that my body did a huge leap or jolt as I felt that charge of energy when Spirit is present and again my body leapt with the energy as I now with this very same knowingness sensed my mother present and my tears began to flow. I leaned to my sister and nephew and explained that she was present as I stayed with my experience and could only hear the sounds of joy from my sister as she wept. And it was here that I could not contain my physical expression of Spirit as my body began to shake and tremble with the immensity of energy as I now sensed the Savior Himself standing in the room. It took everything in me to try to contain myself as I could feel my sister’s hand on my leg trying to calm me as I further became another witness that the temples are truly His House.
And again, I share this in all humility, not understanding why me? Is it because of the previous writing, “… even more blessed are ye to believe…”? It has been a long road to this place of belief, years of questioning my sanity, questioning realities of mind and spirit. And now I am beginning to see through the wisdom of years, I see a journey answered. I have always sought truth and the reward of that journey is now being fulfilled. As I sit here in tears, silently weeping of the joy of the journey, forgetting the pain and hardship of even a couple of weeks ago, ‘being drug to the very gates of hell.’ And now as I ponder again, do I anticipate another bout with the adversary, because of this very experience and the need of the scale of balance and justice? Or is it a rite of passage that each must pass to return into His presence? In which each and probably both are true, as I grip my sword of truth and continue to stand as another witness of Him, Jesus Christ and The Loving Father of a oh so loving Heaven.
“ Oh Father, I now join with Paul, Alma, and the sons of Mosiah, and all of those who have been converted to Thee through the error of our ways and only now wish that others might taste of this very sweetness of Thy joy. Bless me that I might be made strong before Thee, that I might have the courage and strength to stand for Thee in a world that is becoming even more deaf unto Thee. Let me step from behind these words of anonymity and be strong for Thee in the world.”
May 3, 2016 Tuesday (3:00 am)
After only a couple of hours sleep I woke up and heard, “Write, I would speak with thee.” I heard another phrase of the intended topic, but I dozed back into sleep and now I can’t remember the phrase. And now re-awaking and asking forgiveness for my falling asleep in my exhaustion. Breathing for clarity and the Spirit as I question my ability in my exhausted state. I am trying to not go into self loathing as I am falling asleep again as I hear nothing.
“Oh My son, ye question thyself and thy intent because of thy exhaustion, but I commend thee for the forces of the physical are upon thee. Ye still follow My lead and command, as ye continue to fight through the demand for sleep. Be ye therefore of ease on thy expectations of desired perfection. Thy demand of sleep is causing a disruption and I say, ‘Sleep and forgive thyself’ and in this ye are forgiven. Sleep My son and I will speak with thee again.”
“Thank you Father for thy patience and forgiveness.”
It’s now 6:40 am…
As I woke about fifteen minuets ago I heard in my immediate consciousness, my first thought I heard, “Believe and be healed.” And as I heard this I began to converse with questions, as I asked, “How?” I was taught with simple thoughts entering my mind to return everything to the thought of light. I knew that this healing was of a wide reaching type, but still brought it back to the physical by asking, “Should I stop taking my medication?” I was told, ‘no’ but to begin to see the medication as light. I was further taught through this simple thought process, that we are not mentored, in this life, in this. We are born for success, and then negative slowly begins to become the focus. The ‘Believe’ part of the statement is to take everything back to the positive or light. As I am thinking and writing this what comes to me is what a class member said, at our last mediation group, that she is “working on training the mind to focus on the positive.” And here I am now being instructed by the Heavens on this very thing. “To see everything in light and taking negativity to the positive of light.” A process of “Believe and be healed.” As I am left to ponder, perhaps this is the beginning process of my requested desire, ‘translation,’ into a perfected body that I might serve Him fully. As I let my mind expand into thoughts of perhaps this is accompanied with the twinkling of an eye? Just maybe the first step of the process is to ‘believe’ and become thoughts of light. How incredible to wake in holy conversation!
May 4, 2016 Wednesday (6:08 am)
I just woke and was told to, “Write.” A little anxious, but breathing and praying for the Spirit to flow with ease and grace…
“Oh My son, thou art of a wisdom of knowing the things of the Heavens and of this ye are blessed in the ways of God. And yet ye still are of the ways of man, and in this are the pulls of which ye have felt and know for be not fearful thinking of chastisement for the things that ye know are not of Me. (my choices of fast food and television) For ye always have choice, and in this there has never been one of perfection as I have approached him/her in their dealings of Spirit. So ease thy mind and in this ye might flow with My love and the Spirit might witness My word. For as ye have come unto Me and so it is that I come unto thee. That the hearts of man might be turned unto Me and receive the blessings of all wisdom.
For your mind is troubled of the thinkings of ending the life created and in this is the …
My son, thou hast entered a fog and are getting lost in the flow because of thy desire not to hear the counsels of Heaven because of thy concerns of doubt and feelings of guilt. For as ye await the words and anticipate your projected concerns it nullifies the flow and ye are left wondering and in a fog of drifting. So breathe and clear the non-focus from thee and begin to hear again with a clarity and sharpness that is of My being and receive My counsels.
For ye are concerned for the lives of the very opossums of nuisance and ye feel guilt for ordering their extermination. And of this there are two ways of the mind that is forked/split and ye are caught. For in the first thinkings of life created and being the destroyer of such life. And then the higher thinking of letting all life be in a unity of life, accepting that which each has to offer and then living the higher law of acceptance as the lion and the lamb lie together. And in these thinkings ye find thyself split/caught in the higher ways to come and the ways in which ye now live. Of course the trapping and release would be the solution of the Heavens, but ye ‘are not of control’ and thus must relinquish unto that which is before thee. The ‘nuisance and possible threat to your cat and home.’ And then ‘the time of which ye don’t have to research a company of release.’ And in these are the decisions of life without judgment of consequence which ye find thyself caught. A moral judgment, which ye are caught because of the commitment already made to the process of extermination. Release thy troubled thinkings because ye are not of a pleasure of taking life and yet ye are not in the utopian ways to come. So be of a mind that can release unto Me the guilt of a decision made. For ye wonder where the line is drawn between the taking of life. For all is a contradiction, the taking of the life of a spider to the contrast of a cow, a life of a opossum in contrast to a bird, an ant, a termite, a fungus… the destroying of life for another way of being. Ye are caught in the philosopher’s moral of life valued, which ye are of the ways to come that are not yet to be. Release thy confused and questioning state unto Me and return to a light of release, releasing all unto Me and be of a mind of peace. Go forth My son and be of a good day, for thy day is upon thee and ye must go. Be of good cheer and release unto Me.”
May 18, 2016 Wednesday (12:45 am)
I am just now crawling into bed after coming home and watching some television and fell asleep. As I was finishing my prayers I just now heard, “Write My son I would speak with thee.” Now breathing for the Spirit of Love to flow…
“Oh My son, thou art strong in thy faith and in this is thy blessing of an open Heaven, and in this is My love continued to flow in favor, of which is a great showing of mystery and experience that ye might be made strong and thyself in the flow of My love. For ye have an outpouring of experience and in this is the lessons of knowledge and a lesson of faith. For even as ye continue to come unto Me it is of this that ye will be made strong for the things that are soon upon thee. Oh My son, ye hear and know the word of God and in this is the faith of a servant of righteousness, and in this ye receive. For can ye not feel and know the outpouring of My love? Can ye not feel the wisdom of experience that is sanctioned because ye continue to submit and lay thyself before Me? For how cannot the Heavens stay thee? For in this manner are the Heavens opened and in this is thy experience. For the Heavens work for My direction and the angels watch thee and make thee strong as ye display more and more the will of God. For ye have wondered how ye can live in two worlds, and of this ye are now of those that have a welcome to walk in both worlds as ye have made thyself sufficient before Me. Yes ye are still of weakness, for ye are still of the natural man, but ye are of hope and promise. For did ye not hear the Voice of Love speak, “He is one of us.” And did ye not understand fully as ye heard? For even in this ye are still of the world, but ye are of a love that centers of the heart and ye know a sweetness of such a love that fills thy soul and body. So be ye therefore of this love and ye will continue to grow and build in light, even until the perfect day.
Oh My son, ye wonder how to walk both worlds and ye desire for others to experience and understand, but ye now know that experience is not understood before the soul is ready to receive, and in this ye walk a lonely road. And yet there are many who walk with you in your secluded awareness. Be strong, My son, even in this and ye will be of a community of belief that will be shared. Be strong in thy belief and continue to come unto Me, and ye will see even as I, and know a pureness of love that is for all. Be faithful even in these things and great shall be your reward. Blessings to thee as ye now receive, blessed are ye to know.”
May 19, 2016 Thursday (early am)
I went to bed late and allowed myself to sleep in and as I awoke I immediately heard, “Write My son, I would speak with thee.” Followed by, “You must give the body proper care… “ I can not continue, cannot sustain the word flow. I am breathing for clarity and the Spirit…
“Oh My son, the abuse of the body must be paid, and in this is the consequence of the lack of respect and care given. For ye have had warnings of this and yet ye heed not and continue in thy ways of abuse, and in this ye think that I will stay that which is upon thee. And in this thou art mistaken. For the price of cause must be paid and in this thou art to receive the payment of such abuse. Oh My son, ye are of the gifts of love and service and ye have thought because of this that the body can be abused, and that I would save thee from that which is physical. For ye have known but ye have not heeded, and in this is thy abuse. Dost thou tempt God? Dost thou think that there is no price to be paid for the abuses put upon the body? Yes, I can hear thy questioning mind in your asking, ‘Is there nothing I can do to stay such a payment?’ And I say unto thee, ‘Respect that which is sacred.’ Respect that which is given in all holiness to serve and propel you through this experience of mortality. For ye wonder of what ye can do, and ye know through the promptings of what is meant to sustain and honor, but ye continually choose that which does not sustain that which is of the support of light and love. Ye must amend thy ways or reap the consequences of the life lived. For as ye sustain change it is then, and only then, that the Heavens will sustain a blessing of such an action. So heed this and know Me, and in this the body supported by Spirit. Rest My son and ponder these things of wisdom and action.”
Just a note for understanding… because of my busy schedule, and I am beginning to see some addictive behavior, I have been turning more to fast food and the television for comfort. I continue to ask myself, ‘Why?’ Why, with all that I have been given, would I turn to the physical when the Heavens wait to love and support. It still remains a mystery to me, but I do know that I have traveled too far and have received too much to allow the physical to supersede all that I have come to value and love. I can hear a song repeating in my mind as I write this. It is on a CD that my sister sent to me for my birthday. I keep playing it and I hear it repeating now. It is sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, ‘Death Shall Not Destroy My Comfort’ The refrain that is now etched into my mind because of my playing over and over as I drive in the car, ‘ Oh hallelujah! How I love my Savior! Oh Hallelujah! That I do!’
May 22, 2016 Sunday (5:08 am)
I just woke up dreaming of an earthquake. In the dream I was trying to gather my cat to me to find a safe place. As I had her in my arms outside of my home, and as I looked up I saw that we were below the chimney of my house and we needed to move to a safer location, and that’s when I woke up. As I was waking I heard, “I would speak with thee, My son.” I’m a little anxious as I begin to breathe and focus my thoughts on my breath and heart. Breathing for the Spirit and clarity…
“Oh My son, thou art of a mind of wondering, of this that ye have experienced through the dream state, and now My command to write. And I say unto thee, ‘Ye knoweth that which is coming, and ye know that which is for thee to do as ye await that which is soon upon thee…
Ye are struggling for the words and focus because ye know not the words of caution and ye fear the things to be spoken of certainty, because ye are in a fearful mind.
Oh ye that fear and no nothing, but the mind of fear. For this is the lesson that ye should release all that will be, unto Me. For ye fear the outcome before the result. Ye imagine the scenarios before the actual events, because ye fear the safety of your beloved and grieve before the need. For ye think of the hardships before the events. And I say, ‘Leave the mind and move into thy heart. And know that the things to come are for Me, and in this ye are to be of Me.’ For in these hardships are the lessons continued and as ye release unto Me, ye learn to release thy will and concerns. Giving all glory and care unto Me, and in this ye are in a state of mind that will serve thee and give thee the power of will and submission. And in this ye are of a mind that will take thee into obedience. For as ye worry ye can do nothing, and as ye survive the event ye can do nothing. And it is in this state of surrender that will serve thee best. For at this place, ye then come unto Me in a full state and ye are then of a place that will be servant and son, beloved and saint, peaceful warrior and believer. Oh son, release all unto Me and surrender thy fearful mind at My feet and I will bless thee, and that will serve thee. Come unto Me in these things and I will show thee the way unto true peace. That will be the corner stone of a firm foundation that will serve thee well. For ye wonder and fear but I say, ‘Give glory and honor.’ Glory in Me and find a peace that will be thy strength; bring all worry unto the light of surrender and release all fear unto love, and know Me in this. For have ye not seen the burning love of the angels of destruction? Have ye not seen the love bright in their eyes? For what love can behold the Source of such power and judgment? For they know Me and know My heart. For ye wonder of such a love, and I say, ‘Know Me and glory in Me, and ye will find the strength that will serve thee well. Be of good cheer, My son. Know that all outcomes work for the good of the whole of experience. For is not the experience as the dream you just awoke from? Will ye not awake from the experience and find the peace of a loving Parent? So lie no more in thy fears, but understand the wisdom of this. Know My love and ye will be as the angels that know no fear, know no angst, that are abiding in Me. For have ye not experienced the emotions of the Gods… joy? Have ye not felt the depth of this emotion, the weeping of joy? So release unto Me thy worried mind and step into a love, My heart, that knows no pain, but experiences the joy of all experience in a wisdom of understanding that is based on love. For if love is the source of all, then all is love, and ye see through the illusion of fear and pain. For love carried in the heart knows the wisdom of all things experienced. Will ye not return to a state of love? So why worry in the mind when the heart is bearing the love of God? For ye wonder of this, but ye are the vessel. Therefore allow the vessel to be full and ye will be of no fear, but be as the angels that know Me and live in My heart. Ponder these things. Practice these things. And know Me as I am… love. Peace be with you, My son, and My peace in your heart as you become the vessel.”
Just a note… In the later part of this writing, He questioned me in , “For have ye not experienced the emotions of the Gods?”, and I might explain to help you better understand. I have been commanded to not write of the experience, but let me share with you that as I had the experience in my mediation group I could not contain the pure love/joy emotion referred to as, “ …the emotions of the Gods.” This emotion filled me to such an extent that I wept openly and out loud. I could not stop or contain the emotions as they poured through me, causing some embarrassment. But valuing the experience more than people’s perceptions of me. Again I could not have stopped the expression of the this pure emotion, even f I had wanted to.
The last few weeks have been so full of rich experiences and yet I feel, as I have termed, ‘spiritually bipolar’. It seems like I have been up and down, questioning how and why, after so much experienced that I have these highs and lows. As of late they seem more dramatic in nature and yet so have my spiritual experiences been more profound. I somewhat have a glimpse of the law of balance, the scale that allows the adversary his do time. And I know of the refining fire that that cleanses and refines; are these highs and lows part of the cleansing process? If this is the process it is exhausting. I know that there are parts of me that must still be resisting, that’s why the recurring addictive behaviors of fast food and television, which I lay at the cause of my busy life of work and church. And just to share I have curbed my fast food behavior because of the previous writing, which scared me for concerns of my health.
I don’t want to come across as egotistical, many wish for such experiences that I am having, but they come at a price. The weight of feeling what is soon upon us, and having to bear its weight as I calmly try to convey the urgency of being prepared, when in reality I want to yell it to the world; a world that is deaf. And I want to share my wonderful experiences, and I have learned from a few times sharing that the world is not ready in their belief. So I must carry their enormity privately. I now somewhat, know that weight of the Prophet Joseph Smith. I feel for him as he carried the weight of the restoration and all that was upon him. How the Lord must have sured him up! Because just in my small scope, it is difficult. I am in wonder and am amazed at the refining he must have gone through to endure all that he did. My love, admiration, and testimony for him grows as I struggle with my small, weight to carry. I now tear with love for him, and the patience of a Heaven that can sure us up in our weakness.
May 26, 2016 Thursday (4:36 am)
I just woke up before my alarm and clearly heard, “Write My son, I would speak with thee.” As I responded, “Yes, Father, I am nervous but still want to.” I’ve only had a few hours sleep, but my mind is clear. I don’t want to keep Spirit waiting so I will explain the reason for my nervousness after the writing. Breathing for the flow of words…
“Yes, My son, ye are of a mind to hear and ye are blessed with such clarity, for the days of lack of sleep and abuse of the body. For ye have prayed for help and ye are of a mind to understand even in your frustration. And even in resigning thyself to My judgment because of thy deeds of rebellion. For yes, ye have known and yet feel compelled to go against what ye have known to be the will and command of God. And yet ye still go unto thy own acts of rebellion, and ye now await My judgment. Oh My son, ye are of a mistaken mind, because it is of thee that all judgment comes forth. For it is the judgment of My love that ye are even blessed to hear My words and will. And it is because of thy prayers of mercy that they are heard, and yet again ye go against what ye know to be the right.
For ye are of a mindset that is fixated on the ease of the world. And ye are of a mind set that all must pass, who come before Me… the last fight of the ego. And in this ye understand and know not. For ye have submitted and given Me your all, and in this ye still cling to the ways of the world, in the mind. For ye still have desires for pleasure and the things of this world. And it is because that ye are man, and ye are still of a mind of the world, even as ye have come unto Me. For this is a natural process, because of the connection that keeps ye bound to life because it is written into the coding of all life. It is part of the survival of humanity, until it is broken by abuse, pain, or by the key of the Spirit. Ye are locked into the codes of this programming of life, and it is in this that ye fight Me. For it is the ego’s last chance, for what it feels for self survival … the preservation of will. For this is beyond human understanding and it is because of this strong will of self- preservation that even now fights against Me, and even thy own desire to follow Me in all ways. For ye have been wondering, ‘Why, thy disobedience has been so automatic in its nature?’ Because of this very fight of the ego holding onto a life of freedom, a life of freedom of which it only knows. For this is the nature of many of the rebellious, and yet they understand not the compulsion for they’re acting out. For this very compulsion, of going against the spiritual, is a strand of this very will of freedom. For ye have encountered it early on in thy youth, which all must pass. And in this very nature many loose their way, but most do not understand this nature; but it is because of this very part of the ego that is focused on survival.
For even now your mind cannot wrap itself around this understanding as ye question all behaviors of self and man. As ye question will, sin and the intentions of man, or even the intention of self. For a rebellious spirit is broken into two realities, desire and will. For in this, there is usually opposition. For in desire is the connection to all things natural. And this is why there is so much addiction, because of this very will or focused desire of life. Which all of man is programmed. For it is the very strand that keeps man focused on living, or else he/she would walk into other realms and be lost from this realm/ world of learning. For without this focused programming all would be lost. So, the ego or mind is fixated on the things of this world to keep thee bound. For some experience this programming early on in youth, in which ‘will’ is set. And it is here that the adversary acts in the natural development of man. For he knows of this natural course or flow and it is here that many are lost. For it is part of the natural programming, which you now call ‘DNA’, and it is here that the struggle begins for many. For those who are strongly identified to the world get the pulls of this programming, and it is here that the mind becomes aware of opposition.
For is this not what, even Eve in the garden, came up against? And was it not even the adversary that played upon this very developmental time? For this is the very play of opposition or the natural man made known. In this, all must come and pass through, even those identified to Spirit and follow the Light of Life, the very voice of God, they come up upon this very nature. And it is here that the very nature of freedom is built, and it is this threshold that one must pass, many times, to understand will. For this threshold is passed in youth and in adulthood, and it is here that one finds the addictions of life. For it is here that the ego, or the mechanism of the survival of life, comes into play. And it is here that one has choice, or freedom. For many may become ensnared in this struggle of will, and loose their footing of firm foundation and some may pass through this threshold with ease. But the programming is still in place and running that keeps man focused on living and not wandering into worlds of another reality. And it is in this seed, or programming of life, that is the very nature of addiction; the self identified to the natural. And it is here that ye are caught and it feels like you have no will, even as ye desire to follow My counsel. For many are labeled at this point as rebellious, lazy, unfocused, or even evil; but it is in this over identification to this very nature, that is the programming of God. For now ye question, ‘How one would become free?’ Ye must first understand the programming of which is laid. For ye can get lost in the continual struggle of this programming of will…’
I am ashamed to say that at this point I was mentally full and I put the pen down to ponder and fell asleep in my exhaustion. I have beat myself up for this… for the loss of the very answers from God on how to become free! Since, I have questioned if it was this very programming that He was explaining that shut me down? I could easily go into self loathing for loosing this connection, but have chosen to hope and pray that the Lord will be forgiving and continue in this vain of thought, to better understand this programming and the freedom that we all seek. Or at least think we all want and seek, unless we shut down and go to sleep! Uggghhh! As I sit and write this what comes into my mind is… to continue to add light through obedience, and this behavior will eventually lead us to a place of eternal freedom.
And now to explain as I said I would, why the need for this very writing. It seems like a few days prior to this writing I was coming home with little to no will and just collapsing in front of the television and just wanting to zone out and let my mind relax and not think. So it was in this state of staying up late and abusing my body with little sleep that I prayed asking for the Lord to help me as it seemed like I had no will. And that was the cause for the spiritual insights on desire and will… His answer to my plea for help.
I have been pondering much this seesaw aspect of which I have been experiencing the last several years, which has been more pronounced the last few months. As I was getting ready this morning, for my early 7:30 Ward Council meeting, the thought came that it is a natural process whenever we are making change in our lives for this seesaw aspect to be present. For it takes time for the new behavior to take root, and during this rooting time there are fluctuations between the old and the new behaviors. And as we make steady our course and continue to choose our desire for the new over the old, our will is discovered. I think that this is the Lord answering my hopes for more knowledge which was lost. At least it feels comforting as I attempt to release my perfectionism and adopt this softer approach of ebb and flow during this rooting time. A softer, kinder me as I try to become everything the Lord wants and desires of me.
June 2, 2016 Thursday (1:10 am)
As I was saying my bedtime prayer I heard, “Write, My son, I would speak with thee.” Breathing for a clear mind and for the Spirit to help as I open my heart for the words to flow…
“Yes, My son, the words of the mouth are spoken to the mind for thee to write, and in this ye are blessed. For as ye give thanks unto Me and were in a state of gratitude I heard your desire for the continued word. And in this ye did please Me, and in this ye did open thy heart for such a blessing. For as ye hear and know the words ye are of a hope that will be of Me, and ye ask for My blessing of strength and honor to continue to serve Me. And in this ye are blessed for I hear thy will, and honor such a prayer from the heart.
For even as ye await My will, and await the day and hour of the Heavens to open and deliver the world from such a wicked state, ye stand ready and open hearted, willing to serve. And I say unto thee, ‘Serve where thou standeth, for it is sacred unto Me to be of such an offering.’ For as a man or woman offer themselves up unto Me, it is then that I will sanctify them and glory in them to be ready in that hour. Of that day that is written for the Heavens to deliver such a worthy warrior of love. For as ye stand unto Me and glory in Me it is then that the windows of Heaven opens unto those to bless and sanctify. For as the heart is open unto Me, it is then that the Spirit of My love is carried forth and the light and love of My mark is laid upon them. That the angels that soon cometh will over pass them, that they may have a mark of protection, a mark of honor. For in this the angels rejoice to know such a mark of love, and in this they prepare to release the wrath of cleansing. For as man draweth away, as a whole, then the world is ready for a strong love to show the way. Blessed art thee, My son, for thy heart is ready to hear the wisdom of the Heaven who loveth Her children. Blessed are ye to know such a love.”
It’s Sunday morning and I am sitting here listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir’s, ‘Requiem’, the CD that my niece sent me years ago, and the same CD that opened my heart and brought the Spirit of the Lord more into my life. Years ago there was one song that I would listen to repeatedly that filled me which such a fullness of Spirit that it would cause me to weep, and now I appreciate almost every song as they continue to move me into my heart.
With the permission of the Lord I allowed myself to stay home from church today and in this allowance giving my body and soul a time to regroup and recharge. I am reminded of how the Savior would allow Himself to pull away and give to Himself time for solitude and meditation. This is what I truly needed for myself today, a reprieve from the world to commune with Spirit and not scurrying about trying to fulfill all of my responsibilities of work, church, and family.
This morning, as I experience a peaceful morning in the sanctuary of my home I am filled with a spirit of peace and gratitude, a fullness of heart, for the love and support of the Heavens. For the last couple of weeks have been so stress filled and I have been at a breaking point. I have felt the many pulls of life and not giving to myself time to replenishing my own self with my needs, and in my neglect I have been suffering on many levels that have brought me to a place of ugliness within myself. A place of lack of patience for myself and others, a place of wanting to run from the world, an escape.
For decades I refused to accept the negativity of the adversary, even though I had experiences of this darkness. Because if I acknowledged him and his realm, I would have to also accept the existence and constructs of a Heaven. And so as I was living a life that was contrary to the teachings of Heaven I choose to ignore both, or so I thought. It is such a contrast to my sitting here today filled with the Spirit of Light, the same Heavens that I tried to avoid, and now this relationship of Light is the central focus of my life. And just as this Light is my guide and focus I must now acknowledge its polarity, the darkness. And it is this very darkness that has been at play as I have tried to navigate these past couple of weeks. As I continue to experience and be instructed from the Lord, the closer we get to Light the more its polar, darkness, comes into play. Thus the counsels of the next couple of writings, which the Heavens are opening in their very support. There was such a darkness about me that I even asked the missionaries for a blessing because there seemed to be no relief of my own accord. Again I sit here this morning in such relief as I find some reprieve from the struggle that seemed as if it was going to consume me, and steal my very soul. I am in praise of a Heaven that is so patient and responds to our pleas in our times of distress.
June 10, 2016 Friday (5:00 am)
I just woke to the song of a morning song bird outside my window and as I woke I immediately heard, “Write My son, I will guide thee through these difficult times.” I answer with a willingness, “Yes Father, I love you.” I have a dull headache from lack of sleep, but I also have a clarity and feel gratitude as I breathe and wait for the Spirit’s stream of words…
“Yes My son, the prayers and commands of the Priesthood have been heard and the angels of mercy have been with thee and for thee, and even My cherubim stand watch as a comfort, and watch that ye might have peace; peace of mind and a spirit of strength. For as ye prayed and used the authority of power, My word made whole, ye spoke in the words of truth and ye spoke the words of power, strength and honor. And in this ye have cast off the powers of darkness that have tormented thee and have emotionally bound thee in a way that made thee dysfunctional and leaving thee in a helpless state in thy mental faculties. For as ye spoke with the mighty name of freedom even My name, Jesus Christ, did ye not know and feel the power of this? Did ye not feel the strength return unto thee? For it is in these times of troubled mind and heart that we watch and hope for the choice of freedom to side upon truth and honor. And it is with an anxious eye that the angels of truth watch and pray thee into a willingness of hope that ye will choose in a freedom of righteousness, the hope of the future of grace and glory. And as ye called out for help it is in this manner of patience that the window of Heaven was opened wide and ye received the forces of righteousness at thy side, and at thy back, and at thy front that ye might be of a freedom of that which has tormented thee and even wanted to destroy thee. For could ye not feel the strength of their power in your mind giving thee thoughts of destruction and a hopelessness that have tormented thee in thy struggles of the past? And ye wondered why such negativity was upon thee, and I say, ‘To destroy thee.’ For as ye once more chose to turn unto Me, ye were lifted up in thy strength and ye were held in the arms of righteousness, as ye lay exhausted in thy sleep and as ye were in thy exhaustion ye were protected in the honor of thy strength. For as ye spoke the words of glory ye were acquitted of their grasp and ye were of a strength that ye know of the warrior of honor.
For did I not call this warrior forth through My servants words? Did he not call forth the glory of light and truth in his words of dedication? And did he not know such power as ye have witnessed? For as Joseph called ye forth ye have awaited the battle to be fought and for the strength of the day of future, but did ye not know that the battle is for thee? Did ye not know that the victory of thee would give the powers of darkness conquest? For even as ye waiver and stagger with the weight of darkness ye faileth not. Ye stand of a strength that casteth doubt to the earth and the serpants head is bruised under thy heel, and ye even knoweth not. For as the onslaught of honor was thwarted, he and his minions have taken to the subtle of tactics and playing on the stresses of thy labors. For have ye not felt not enough, have ye slowly been sinking in the power of darkness feeling unworthy and of a mental gloom that has been of a weakness of strength to move, as the stresses of life have made thee heavy and ye were even at a breaking point of the weight carried? Oh My son, how patient are the Heavens to see thee through, to allow such a torture and weakened to a state of destruction as ye were prayed upon. Did your niece of love not even sense your distress and even come to thy aid? Oh how thou art loved and ye have been of such a witness of this love. For even as ye art love, ye beget that which ye are. And in this ye honor those that await thee in thy acceptance of such grace. For even now can ye not feel the love that is about thee that only the subtleness of the spiritual eye and heart can perceive? Oh My son, be of good cheer and know the truth of these words and know the truth of God made manifest. Know with a surety that the forces of Light have given thee strength, and not allow those very doubts that are seeded in darkness have a hold upon thee. Cast off all that is of a negative mind and ye will be of light and strength again. For light prevaileth, and thy light of honor and glory will be built upon this. For the war of righteousness is being waged and ye are the battlefield for righteousness. Lift up thy heart and glory in this victory as ye build unto thee a foundation and bedrock of strength. For even as ye glory in this victory let thy guard be watchful for the siege is not behind thee as the quest for your very soul is played out. Therefore rest up and gather the strength of light about thee. Fortify thyself in the walls of My temple and be ye therefore made worthy and whole. Honor to thee My son as ye make thy presence known in the halls of My kingdom as We await thy victory with the strength of a love that watches thee is of a saving light of love and grace that is of a love that has pierced the veil for thee to hear. And in these words of sacred love ye hear and know and gather about thee an assurance of those waiting thy return. Give glory and honor to those words of love that ring out for thee to build upon and know, that ye might be lifted up in a praise that will give all the Heavens a glory. For in Her words she is made known. Therefore glory in this love and ye will be of a strength that will serve thee and make thee whole again. Be strong My son and let this be thy honor and My glory to bring thee across and through the veil for thee to splendor. My love unto thee even in this My son.”
After laying there and soaking in the feelings of love and support, as I was crawling out of bed I heard, “Come unto Me and I will lift thee up.”
June 11, 2016 Saturday (6:11 am)
I just woke up and immediately heard, “Oh My son thou art strong, keep thy focus upon Me and I will guide thee through. For it is in this that ye will find thy balance again and ye will know My love made manifest. For as ye continually come before Me and cry forth thy heart, as ye did last night, I will not abandon thee. But will send forth Mine angels to comfort thee and give thee hope.
Yes, I can hear your mind asking, ‘What is going on?’ And I say unto thee, ‘ The powers of darkness are upon thee and working against thee. For they are using the natural situations of life and work to thwart thee. And as ye came up with a breath of fresh air, in thy turning unto Me after thy blessing and commanding the darkness with My authority, they pulled thee down again with the natural focus of life about thee. For can you not feel the dampening effect upon thy soul? Can you not feel the darkness about thee, consuming thee, that which feels like depression and lack of will? For the darkness is working with thy exhaustion and praying upon the natural situations of life to take thee down. For as ye turn unto Me and become aligned with thy will made known unto Me, ye will break the very bonds of darkness that is trying to devourer thy very soul. For ye wonder why the Heavens wait and let thee suffer? And again I say unto thee, ‘To allow the scale of justice its do. To allow the freedom of will to be discovered.’ And as ye confirm thy desire it is then that ye manifest thy will and declare thy allegiance unto Me. It is then that the armies of Heaven can stand with thee in thy fight and battle the very forces that are binding thee in a state of confusion and using thy exhaustion and weakened state. If you could see as We see the tens of thousands working against thee. For your mind wondered of this exactness, of this number and I say unto thee,’ Man cannot see or know in his natural state the will that is being fought. He cannot comprehend the forces of light and darkness that is about him. And if he knew with quickened eye, he would be amazed and even shake in a state of fear. For the creation is eternal and the forces therein are as numerous as the sands of the shore, but it is in My wisdom that he cannot see or know the extent of such a creation. And now you know the forces that are turned against thee, because thou art Mine and ye have given thy all unto Me. For their influences are of a weakened nature because of their being non-physical, but they still throw their desires against Me, and therefore choose those who align unto Me. For why have I cautioned thee to acts to support thy body and soul with proper care of sleep and food? That ye might be kept strong in body and might, that ye would keep thy strength. And even thy will is made weak because of thy lack of care and the life of stress about thee. And ye are weakened and in a state of compliance to the waves of force that toss thee and even drag thee down. So My son, ye wonder what can be done to break such a force and situation of weakness? And I say, as your loved ones have cautioned thee, ‘Retreat to thy own space and build thy will through prayer and care of the body. Give thyself rest and care even if you were physically sick, your soul must be nourished and cared for. For My servants think that because of their lives to which they are called that the forces of light will sustain, and they do, but only with the support of the physical made manifest. Question not My ability and power to save thee. For what would it profit thee to be saved in every turn of life? Where would ye find thy own strength and power? For can ye not see the wisdom in this that ye might grow unto Me? For as ye continue and turn unto Me in all thy ways, ye will find thy strength and valor which will serve thee well. For I could thwart the very forces that fight against thee with one unuttered word of My power and authority… but how would it serve thee? Ye would still be in thy weakness and fallen state. But because of My very love, I allow these very forces to play out, and ye in this have the opportunity to find thy very strength and will, which is far greater than desire.
Oh My children, can ye not see this wisdom? Can ye not see My love even in this? For what parent protects the child from all of experience and then finds a child that cannot cope with the forces of life? And even this Parent of spirit and body holds the same wisdom. For if ye could have awakened eyes ye would know this to be true. Ye would see My love made manifest about thee on all levels and ways. For look about thee at the wonders of the world created for thee. See the beauty in this and ye begin to glimpse just a portion of My love. Oh ye My children come unto Me that I can serve thee and guide thee through these very darkened times. That yours days might be filled with life and light that ye might be made aware of the very fight for thy freedom. Oh ye that fight against the law to be made free, ye know not of a loving Parent that stands to give thee all if thou wilt prove thyself worthy of such power and glory. Come before Me, humble thyselves, and come under the laws that are given to serve thee and aid thee. That which ye call a burden to thy freedom is the very gate into thy freedom. But ye still cannot see as ye are in such a state of man. Abide in Me and I will lift thee up unto all glory and honor that ye shall not want, for thy needs will be filled with a completeness of joy.
Oh My children, ye comply with the laws of man to achieve thy desires, but ye will not yield to the very laws of Spirit that will give thee far more than the human mind can conceive. But ye remain focused and obsessed with the physical before thee, as was the plan of your salvation was written, and spoken and created. This focus was to be broken by thy very turning unto Me and in this thy sight is made aware of the physical state made in similitude of the spiritual. A spiritual state of such glory that ye would bow thy will at this very moment with desire, but ye are still focused on the world and the things therein. And in this ye are tested and given opportunity to find thy will and in this ye are made strong. Abide in Me My son, and ye will be built upon a foundation that will not crumble, but give thee even stability as the winds blow against thee. Be ye therefore strong and comply to My desire that ye should take care and give heed to thy body and spirit, that thy soul shall sail through these very times of darkness.
Oh My son, ye will find thy peace again. Girt up thy loins and crumble not with the forces that come against thee. Turn thy face unto Me and know that I know thee, and love thee, and bless thee even in these times that ye are feeling forsaken. Find thy strength and will, and this shall quickly pass. For as ye bring in more light ye shall be of such that the very forces will be scattered in their fear to only regroup another day. Battle well My son, and give Me honor.”
Dear family, friends, and followers of the blog, I extend my apologies for the lapse of posts to the blog. It has been crazy with the usuals of work and church, but along with those usuals came a small family crisis and then my computer being hit with a virus that held me hostage taking me awhile to get it resolved. The advisary will attack every way possible! But I am up and running again and will be posting these latest writings. Through all of the pulls and upheavals of life the writings have been a little less frequent, but I am always looking to the Lord even when the Heavens are quiet. I have come to realize that it is usually a reflection of where I am at more than where the Heavens are…
June 22, 2016 Wednesday
I want to shout to the Heavens with all the choruses of angels of past and present, ‘Glory to God, peace on earth and goodwill toward men …Hosanna to the Highest!’ Today is my birthday, the day of my rebirth… and I am in awe! I pray that my words may convey the feelings of joy that are flowing through me… a pureness that I have never felt in this life. A purity of just me! It feels like my gratitude is flowing from every pore as I just came from my knees in a humbleness of seeing the work of my life flow together with such ease. The picture of my life so clear, as I can see the magnificence of the Lord in His patience.
How do I tell this story, that has spanned years and even decades, with all of its intricate pieces coming together? As if my life is like a jigsaw puzzle taking on the image as each piece is placed and the picture comes into view. This puzzle started over decades ago when I first came to ‘my Elizabeth’, actually earlier than that, at by birth and beyond. But it is with Elizabeth that I will share, she helped me grasp the first pieces that came into my awareness. Earlier in the writings I have spoken of how I worked with Elizabeth and how through her combined tools of Rebirthing, NLP, and techniques that she had picked up along her own journey, I was able to travel to the experience of my own birth. In that witness, I experienced before my birth, in utero, my mother’s pain which was generational. And how for both of us, my mother and myself, to survive I had/chose to take on the energy of that pain so she could bare the weight and burden of another child. Not that I feel she didn’t want me or even not desired to love me, but because of that generational pain she was maxed out, and didn’t know how to survive it herself. So here I come into the picture carrying the very pain of abuse of those before me, the darkness of generations. Just as she tried to cope, and now me for almost sixty years, I have been limping under its weight. Wondering why after all the work I have done, after all the repentance, all the prayers, all the sweat and tears I could not shake the unseen of generations… until tonight! Until an appointment with C., the newest healer in my life that I have been traveling and journeying for several years. Tonight was our scheduled meditation group and with vacations and travel it ended up to be just she and I, taking advantage of this rare time, I opted for an appointment with her new light therapy which she has been developing.
Before I get to the dynamics of the session, let me share a couple of experiences that will help accentuate the synchronicity of the Lord’s healing work. As you have been reading, I have been bouncing around in mental and emotional extremes. Praying each night to be able to hold more light to further the Lord’s work in my life. And there seems to be no avail, as I begun to wonder if perhaps I have developed some symptoms of being bipolar; yet the Lord has been reassuring me that this was not the case. So I was at work in my shop just a couple hours prior to my heading over to class, my scheduled appointment. I was at my desk and decided to check in with a newer friend. This friend and her husband had been popping up in my life over the last couple of years since my baptism. Actually, I have worked with the husband over the years of my floral career, for he would stage events as I would delver the floral. And throughout that time I never knew that he was LDS, and he never knew I was a former member until one day those pieces came together. And in hearing of my baptism, these yet to be friends, decided to attend in my support. So in talking with her today, she shared that she was reading and studying for a presentation that she was going to give on ‘Generational DNA.’ Well when I heard this lights went off because of this very experience that I had with Elizabeth, which was yet to be revealed for the evening’s agenda. So I told her that we should talk sometime because I have had some experiences in this area of thought. I just recently shared the blog with her and can hardly wait to text her tomorrow to read this entry.
So as I hung up and was still secluded at my desk, as I overheard some conversation with my staff and some customers as they started to get closer headed to the back design area and nearer my desk. They were admiring an art/display piece that I created out of moss, broken glass, and curly willow trunks (Little do people know that is a representation of Lehi’s Dream). As soon as my co-worker said that I did it, she must have motioned in my direction with a hand gesture, because they came back to meet me, as I was taken by surprise as what I felt as they were continually looking at the interior of the shop and the back area as they spoke with me. I was sizing them up on many levels, he was a short, dark haired man with pointy features and a bit disheveled of a certain peculiarity, which made me uneasy. He was dressed in a black leather jacket (in one hundred degree weather) and wearing a pendant around his neck that I kept trying to make out as he talked. Even as I write this I feel uneasy and have the Mormon Tabernacle Choir playing because I feel creepy. He was with two female counterparts and they explained that they had just come from camping as I assessed the red of new tan on her shoulders. As they shook my hand I was still trying to determine if they were casing the shop. As his female companions started to head to the front again he lingered and said in a softer voice if I had a certain product which he called by name. The name of which I don’t want to remember because it kept repeating in my head after he said it and I couldn’t shake it till after my wonderful experience, and now I cannot even recall it, as I am not putting much effort because I feel the Lord has taken it from my memory, which I am counting as a blessing. A blessing because as I asked what the product was he said that it had to do with witchcraft. I knew then as I saw his smirk that I now knew why my discomfort and suspicion. And as I tried to politely wrap up the conversation I asked him how they came to know about my shop, as he said, “I don’t know.” It was then that he went to my cat that was curled up sleeping and started to pet her, as I was having flashes of Charles Manson and wanted him to just leave and not spread any more of his pure evil to my cat, the shop and us. Finally as they were leaving he said, “I’ll be back.” It was then that I went directly to wash my hands in beginning to cleanse myself of his dark energy. As my staff and I exchanged our perceptions they were all of a negativity that made us all uneasy. As we closed shop and I went out the door first, to rush off to class I asked them to be careful. Tonight as I was driving home, after my experience of the Heavens, and as I was reviewing the wonder of the evening I then flashed onto this negativity, as I almost shivered as I questioned if I met the advisory personified? As I thought of Joseph and his struggle with darkness, just before his glorious visitation of the Father and Son. It makes me wonder if darkness knows when Light is about to be revealed?
So as I entered the door of ‘C’s home I asked her to guard herself in protection because of my creepy experience, which I was trying to cleanse from my own energy. As I shared the experience with her we both commented on how odd, and how the forces of darkness and Light are becoming more accentuated and how people are feeling these energetic pulls. We conversed for a while as we began to empty out our minds before the session. As we then focused on the session, I expressed to her of my mental and emotional roller coaster ride, she then shared that before the appointment she checked in and was told that I needed to work on some subtle energies in my energetic field. At some point as we continued in our discussion I could feel my energy charge up as I became aware of Elizabeth entering the room in an expression of love as I could almost see her in my mind’s eye with her sweet smile. And so ‘C’ placed me on the message table to begin the Light Therapy. As she turned on the light generating machines, one at my feet and then the other machine at my head. And it was soon in my energy sensitivity that I began to feel their effects. The crown of my head was activated as the energy of light was passing through my feet and up throughout my body, I shared with ‘C’ my various energetic reactions to the light. Through her insight she told me to ground more to the earth’s crystalline field, and as I did I saw an image of the earth’s energy lifting up and encircling and embracing me. It was odd because as I witnessed this earth energy I also became aware of a very slight energy of darkness that was slipping in and around, in a subtlety in relation to the energy of light. I then reported this to C. and she encouraged me to continue to have me anchor into the crystalline energy of the earth. As I did, this more subtle energy became more pronounced to my awareness, and I began to see it for what it was… the very same energy that I adopted in utero. I have connected to this energy on several occasions from my work with Elizabeth to the more recent work with ‘C’. This same energy that I have carried from my birth and the same energy that has been past from generation to generation was now in my consciousness again. It was now time to clear this energy from me and to carry only me. As I came to this resolve to be free from it my body began to jolt and spasm with the awareness of Archangel Michael and a host of others with him. It was then that the sequential images appeared as if with instinct. While still keeping the sword planted deep within the earth I raised another sword until both swords were handle to handle as I grasped the upright sword with the blade pointed Heavenward. As I was in a stance of power being supported by Heaven and earth Archangel Michael and two others placed their sword blades together until their blade tips were joined with mine and their energy was charging me and giving me an increase of light and strength. With this increase of light I could see that the generational energy was retreating with the combined intention of release. I heard it voicing its frantic pleas, that it must be connected for its survival as it was streaming out of me. I then became concerned, which I voiced to ‘C’, of releasing this negativity out into the world without any containment. She recommended containing it with light. So I encapsulated this energy that has been with me since birth and beyond. It was here that I could see and understand, that up until now my main core of energy had been tainted and it was now running clean and pure, with only my energy. As the now rejected energy was leaving my body I was a witness to the three Heavenly beings above me with our swords united dispelling this familiar curse, and as it was desperate to remain and even reenter my body. I received a diamond base to stand on. I watched this base be inserted at my feet and I also observed, without even a thought of its popular image, I marveled when I say a finger reach out and touch the diamond. With this sacred touch the stone which I was now standing became brilliant and seemed to serve as a filter and generator. This generator stone was like a faceted diamond that was reflecting and repelling the threat that wanted to reattach in its fight for life. With this tainted energy disengaged I had an understanding which I could visually see how when I would run energy through me the energy would run along side of the tainted energy and would become undulating and not able to settle in causing larger reverberations keeping me in a state of disturbance. This has been the gateway of the advisory’s negativity into my life.
It was now that I began to feel a joy and euphoria of being the purest that I have ever been in this life. As I exclaimed to ‘C’ my new awareness and truth. My emotions were flying in my new freedom!
Just a note, it has been several days since the wonderful experience as described above and as I am still in awe of the experience. It has not been the end all to my experiencing the high and low fluctuations. For the very next day I hit a low as I experienced some anger with the missionaries which made come back into reality of my high hopes and expectations for a new way of being. And then again maybe it is still the breakthrough that I needed, and I need to accept just being human, with emotions, and not judge myself so harshly.
June 21,2016 Tuesday (12:27 am)
Just completing a letter of gratitude to one of our High Councilmen who gave a compelling talk and witness of Jesus Christ. I was propped up on my bed and as I set aside the letter’s rough draft and began to lie down, I heard, “Write My son.” I continued in the momentum of my body in lying down as I responded, “I am willing Father if it Thy will.” It was then that I heard again, “Yes, My son, My son…write.” Pen in hand as I breathe for the voice of love…
“Oh My son, My son, ye are blessed to receive the love of the Heavens and in this ye know My love for thee to hear My words. For even tonight as ye still struggle to free thyself from the gloom that is about thee. Even in thy weakness did ye not still find thy strength? For even as ye felt the promptings to hear the words, ye know not the great influences that are about thee. And that is why it feels like such a struggle of mind and emotions. For ye have joked of the effect of being ‘spiritually bipolar’ and I say, ‘Ye are not.’ But even as ye can …(I am struggling because of my exhaustion and keep falling asleep)… not see these very forces working on thee, ye know not of thy strength. Raise thy focus from the gloom that is permeating thy mind, be strong, and be bold in thy focus and actions. For are ye not a warrior? Are ye not wielding the sword of power? Have ye not power? So buckle not under the weight of such torment, but raise thy sight unto Me and ye will begin to behold the love that awaits thee. Rest thy mind and body as ye come before Me and receive My will and command. For even in this truth that is continuing thee. Rest My son and abide in Me as ye rest in My love.”
June 28, 2016 Tuesday (Waking up/ morning)
Just woke up and returning to bed after letting the cat out. As I woke the reading lamp was glaring in my face after being on all night, and I said a quiet prayer-like statement, “My face to You, the Light.” And it was then that I heard, “Write, My son.” Breathing as I wait for the flow of Spirit…
“Oh My son, thou art blessed to hear My words and to know My wisdom. For even as ye come unto Me it is then that I can come unto thee and in this is the joint union of oneness of the estate of man. For as ye continue in thy efforts to release and surrender ye will be as a maiden that awaits the groom, and in this is thy patience tested and thy fortitude given its chance to shine forth. For continue to come unto Me and ye will even be as Solomon knowing the wisdom of Heaven and earth, and ye will be blessed. For as the world waits in its ignorance of the coming of the Son of Man. It is even as they know not to open unto the Spirit that whispers to prepare. For even so are My people in this same state. And as ye stated to thy friends, this is thy concern, the complacency of even those that know the Spirit and heareth not its whisper. For even as the time cometh, ye shall know the time is at hand and ye shall even grieve in thine heart because of the hearts that are shut to the knowledge of truth. And in this ye shall know the grief and burden of the prophets, which is the price of the Wisdom of Holiness. For even as the world makes folly, even so the Heavens are directed by the Son of Man to prepare. And even as the Heavens await ye know not. For the world lies idle in its time to prepare for the quickening is soon upon the land and the sea, and the Heaven will whisper, ‘Receive.’ And in this the Spirit of Holiness will descend and the earth will receive that which is given and in her she will moan and quake, and be made to receive her glory as the feet of her Creator are upon her in the splendor of glory. And in this she will be blessed for she has kept her estate and she will be prized above all for she will be made pure again. And in this she will become like the maiden awaiting her groom, in such a purity that she will be of a preparation of oneness, and after such a oneness will she be blessed to receive her glory. A glory that even man can not know or even understand. But those that abide in Me will receive and be of its existence and glory.
Oh ye that await Me, await in patience, for I cometh and ye shall know the day of deliverance is neigh. But even as ye know this ye also know the days of darkness are also soon upon thee. Abide in Me and ye shall not be left to thine own understanding, but have a guiding light to shine thee the way. And in this the revelation of Spirit which will give thee hope as the world crumbles about thee. Remain true and remain bold in thy dealings of the world, and ye shall receive glory and honor as the angels descend to assist the hearts of My people. So choose ye to abide in Me and ye shall choose the love of Heaven.
Oh ye world of man, ye sleepeth and ye should be in great preparation for that which is soon upon thee. ‘Prepare ye, prepare ye’,cryeth the angels of love. For soon the trump of righteousness will sound the judgment of man and the release, of what appears to be nature, will be given the word of command and the shaking of wickedness will begin to topple in its own glory of destruction. For have ye not learned, My children, can ye not see from thy past? That the cycle of wickedness always brings the cycles of love to show thee the way. But even in this, ye will not recover to rebuild to thy own understanding; this will be the time of the Heaven’s descent to end the cycles of man. And a new order shall rule, and a new government shall reign in righteousness until My children are prepared for the final redemption. And in this all will receive their perspective glory, and in this the Father will be given His glory. And there will be a rapture of joy felt throughout all creation. And in this will the word be made whole and all prophecies fulfilled to the glory of man made perfect in a joy of oneness, and eternal shall the joy be felt as man receives the new estate. For lesson upon lesson, wisdom upon wisdom until estate receives estate and the joy of union is made perfect and precise in its execution; and glory receives glory. For man knoweth not these things but he soon knoweth that which he/she has sown. Sow the seeds of righteousness and receive Me, even as I Am.”
July 11, 2016 Monday (6:25 am)
After waking, I have been wrestling in my mind because I have felt impressions to write, but I was in doubt because I have been questioning and taking inventory about the lapse of time without a writing. And of course once more not wanting a writing to be from me, but as my alarm went off I noticed that my phone’s charge was at one percent and as I was plugging my phone into my computer to be charged I heard a very clear, “Write My son and I will tell you things of your future, past and present.” So with these clear words here I am with pen in hand, as I now breathe to clear my mind and prepare for the flow (and more for my mind and heart to trust these daunting words) …
“Oh My son thou art of a mind of question, because thou art in a state of uncertainty of thy own worth, because of the ways of the world that thou hast turned because of thy lack of obedience and because of thy disciplines. But I say unto thee, ‘That even as ye have turned to the television for comfort and even as ye have fed thyself in the convenience of fast food, I say that ye are worthy enough.’ For even as ye are in the stresses and throws of life ye are still in My heart and in My love, and in this ye are made worthy to receive My word and My command. For even as your heart has been focused upon the upheaval of crisis about thee ye have been of a mind that is of Me. And ye have been asking in thy heart to be of Me, and so it is that Mine angels of love attend and that the Spirit of Glory, even the Holy Spirit, is with thee giving thee hope as the times bear down upon thee and in this ye have and are having the weight of such burdens. For did ye not feel the love and support even as ye taught the dreaded lesson that ye feared? (an assigned priesthood lesson) And were not the Priesthood of My order receptive of the teachings and personal witness that I have born unto thee? For even as ye know these things, ye know the angels of support are suring thee up in thy fears as ye press forward to do all that ye are asked in service.
Oh blessed man of My heart, ye know not thy own glory. Ye know not thy own strength, but still concern thee of whom thou hast been… a child of fear. But even as ye begin to embrace the strength about thee, that is thee, ye begin to taste the sweetness of success. And the flower that has awaited to blossom forth opens to bear the beauty that has been kept tight from the world. And as ye show forth thy splendor ye will be of a strength that will compliment the honor that is given unto Me. For it is through the praise given that the heart surrenders unto the strength received. For as a man falleth deeper into his own worth and farther from the praise unto God, he is found unto himself a desolate heart and the ways of the world are of his blood, which sustaineth his vital organs and his way of life. Can ye not see the similitude of these things? That as a man giveth his honor unto Me it is then that the Spirit of Glory works within him and in this is the blessing of the temple, My temple, made apparent. For even as ye came before Me to receive, ye came before Me to receive the glory of which ye obtain in the body. For as a man is made pure through the Holy Spirit of Promise it is then that the glory is realized and the manifestation of such a glory made manifest. For as ye ponder these things ye will be taught of the Spirit to its worth and glory, and ye will realize its weight of truth and the value of such given. For be of a comforted heart and know that even as the world about thee is in upheaval that the honor of the sword and stone are for thee. Even as ye focus on such ye are made strong that ye might withstand the workings of the wicked one that casteth his focus of disturbance and tosses My children adrift in the waters of turbulence. For even as the chaos about thee has been great, hold thy stance of honor and ye shall be made strong in thy fight of glory to stand with the angels of God, and do His biding. For even as ye are in such turmoil, ye are of a practice for that which will come. For in that day ye will be tossed about in the disturbances of a world of upheaval and in this ye will be prepared. For as My children and servants come unto Me they are prepared to receive that which will guide them unto shores of safety as the world tosses madly about them. And in this is the solid ground of My love and strength, and in this is the love given its glory.
For ye continue to wonder of this glory and I say unto thee, ‘That the glory that is given is as equal to the glory that is earned through an obedient heart, and a spirit that is subject to the weight of the refining love of the Heavens.’ For even as ye serve, can ye not feel the peace of such a love? Can ye not know the strength that ye serve? So know this, that ye are supported unto the submission of thy heart unto the ways of Heaven. And as a heart submits unto Me and My glory then is that very same glory made to work in the evidence of power made manifest. So as ye come unto Me, even as thou art, the powers of Heaven made manifest in one’s life, even as the waves of disturbance toss about them. So steady thyselves in My glory and ye will be of a knowledge of strength that serves thee.
Oh man of My heart, son of the morning, ye know not the glory that is upon thee as ye struggle to battle and as ye win thy victories. Oh world of man, know this, that the forces of light and darkness are about thee and do press upon thee to the very degree of submission unto Me. But in this ye find thy glory and art bestowed even with that which ye know. Oh son of My heart, begin to know thy strength and know Me. Blessed son of this day.”
I hesitate in putting this onto the blog because of the appearance of looking like self praise, but there is so much truth that is shared that I can’t withhold it’s beauty and strength. For as I have stated in my introduction to the blog, this is not just about me and my story, but it is about each of us who are striving to submit our will unto the Heavens, even Jesus Christ and the Father. May we fight on and savor our victories, and learn of our strength as we today prepare our futures.
August 3, 2016
An interesting experience…
As my waking consciousness became aware in the morning darkness, it was like I was entering midway into a conversation with the Lord as He was telling me how much tithing to pay. I heard the amount and I was finally relieved to know how much to pay. Over the years (which I would do differently in starting my business again) I never pay myself a paycheck. My business and myself are one inanity. And now being back in the gospel each month I never know how much tithing to pay. As I first came back I was taking an educated guess and always siding on the higher as to not cheat the Heavens, but lately I have been letting Spirit tell me the amount to pay. I am always grateful to pay whatever amount that I am told. It is far more than the required ten percent, but I have been so blessed. Over the last couple years I have watched my monthly bank balance double and consistently maintain what it use to be. Therefore, I definitely have a testimony of the Lord’s promise and covenant of tithing. And this morning I heard Him say, “I will be able to open the windows of Heaven again.” As I continually say back unto Him, “Thy will be done.” As I gladly offer Him all that I have, my heart and love.
August 4, 2016 (morning)
Just got off my knees in prayer and felt an impression to write and then I began to hear words streaming as I was walking to my paper and pen…
“Oh My son, thou comest before Me in prayer and I show thee the ways of the heart and the ways of discipline. For even as ye say, ‘Thy will be done.’ ye still fight the direction of surrender and find thy comfort in the television and ye still hide from Me in all things. Oh ye that come and desire but not desire in a fullness of intent, and ye wonder of the blessings withheld. And ye still cry out, ‘Where art Thou, oh Lord?’ Ye call forth for My coming to ease the pains of the world, and ye wonder of My silence; when in the reality I am with thee, and for thee. But cannot and will not open all desired until the heart is sanctified and made pure in Me. Oh ye cry out for the blessings of Heaven, but ye stumble half heartedly through thy devotions. Yea, ye have the pulls of this world, but it is in thy disciplines that ye can and must overcome the ways of the world, even the natural man and be as a child of focus. And ye question this, but as ye see the child at play, at work, at whatever the heart is given… does not the child do it completely, with full purpose? Have ye not seen a child so lost in his/her imaginary world of play that all else fades away? Have ye not witnessed a child in complete emotion of pain, to be in a complete emotion of happiness? For in this the child is completely given unto the emotions of the heart. And it is this same devotion to the emotions that I desire thy heart. For ye say, ‘But Father I love Thee.’ Where is the devotion of such a love? Yes, it comes in a desire and is then fleeting away on the winds of complacency and the distractions of a world that grasps for thy love and attention. And in the use of the television the world is numb and besieged with the mindfulness of a world that is far from Me. Even as ye are compelled to limit and sanction the programming are ye not caught in the web of desire? Are ye not diverted from thy ways, My ways, to the ways of the world? For ye wonder of these things and question the norm of the society… and I say, ‘Are ye of the norm?’ Are ye a witness of things to be and things to come, and yet ye want to hide in the safety of the norm of a society that will soon know the limits of such technology and advancements. That will soon be brought unto its knees to humble the values of sin. To bring back the humbleness of heart and bring back My children unto Me. For in all of history is this not the way? Are My children not blessed and then wander unto their own desires forgetting the hand that blessed them. Be ye therefore prudent in the ways of the world, that is soon brought to its knees. Be ye of Me and I cannot withhold My love that awaits to shower upon the pure of heart and desire. Desire Me. Come unto Me and I will show thee the way through a world that grabs and pulls for thy devotions. Come unto Me that I might give thee all, and in this are the blessings of Heaven revealed unto the children of man. Behold all that I have, can be thine in thy humbling of heart, mind and body. Humble thy desire unto Mine and ye shall know no pain that cannot be given unto a pureness of joy. Come unto Me and heal thy hearts and minds in a sanctity of love that has no bounds, except for the confines of a world that has moved far from Me. Come unto Me as a child of devotion and ye shall know this joy that cannot be received but through the heart. Know My love and ye shall know all that I have. Blessed are the humbled of heart and will; blessed are ye to hear and know the mind of God.”
August 15, 2016 Monday (5:30 am)
I just let the cat out as she had been calling to go outside, and as I was returning to bed I heard, “Gather your pen and paper, I would speak with thee.” I am breathing for clarity and the flow of words…
“Oh My son, My son thou art in My love and thou art in My bosom, for as thou hast given thy all in service, ye have been as an angel of Heaven and ye have been of the service of the needs of mankind. And in this art Mine angels that serve Me, serve the world. For even as ye have given thy all it is then that ye have served Me. For as a man/woman loses his life in the service of others it is as if ye have lost thyself in My service and My desire; for this is the progression of served and in this is the eternal reward. Therefore serve thyself and find thyself of a lonely heart, but serve the world and ye find the love of others and the love of the Heavens. For in this service ye not only lost thyself, but have brought peace to those to those who have waited for an eternal peace. For as a child waits his ordinances of eternity, and as a sister is filled with returned love, it is then that the call is sent forth to give and it is then that the service is made whole through the fulfillment of Heaven and earth, and in this are the needs met and in this are the obligations of Heaven received unto those that await the councils/counsels of Heaven. For even as ye have called upon My power in thy blessing unto thy nephew, art Mine angels in service as ye called down with authority? And art not the Heavens in response for as a need is given, therefore the service of man is filled? For as a mortal awaits the fulfillment of a prayer they often loose hope thinking that there is no answer from Heaven, but if they could see, as an angel, they would see angels about them in the service of love. And as Mine angels serve the needs of man, they serve Me. For could not the saints of service (in church service) see not the families of ancestry turned unto them in the service of Me? And could not your heart contain the love shared? Oh My children of the world, ye are not alone in thy plight and hopes, ye are not alone in thy concern and joys. For even as ye cry the Heavens cry with thee, and even as ye shout with joy the Heavens shines brighter in a oneness that man knoweth not. For ye feel the isolation of the mortal experience, but in reality it is shared by Heaven and earth, and ye know not.
Oh My children of pain and concern, open thy minds and hearts, and see thine attendants of mercy that serve Me. And as ye give thy all ye not only give unto Me, but thy service is unto thy Father of All Love and in this ye are blessed. For as one is served all are served. For this is the way of the Heavens and this is the way of a mortality given of the heart. But seek ye not Me in thy service, but be it from a value that is of Me… love. For if ye not have these, love and charity, ye have nothing of true substance. For seek thyself through service and then will ye find Me. For let thy motivations not be of fame and the approval of others, but let it be as if no one can see, and then ye will be of a pure service that is of the heart. And ye will find Me and a love that is of a joy that will serve thee into the eternities.
Oh My children, turn unto Me and ye will know no rest of the world, for the world’s needs are great, but My rest and peace are eternal. So serve Me now and know an eternal joy that will burn in thy bosom and give thee a peace that will sustain thee throughout the eternities. For service of the heart, is of My heart, and ye have been of Me.
Come My son, and I will give thee rest. Come unto Me and I will not stay Mine hand that will wipe thy brow, and arm that will steady thee as the winds blow and the fatigue is upon thee. For My service is unending and My love eternal in the love of man. Oh My son, serve ye not of perfection, but just serve, and ye will find perfection. Waste not thy concerns of the perfect service, but act and ye will know thyself, and know Me. Be of good cheer, for thy hope is answered and Mine angels doth serve the loves of your heart. For even as thy intentions/prayers are given up unto Me, think ye not that Mine angels doth not respond? Glory not in the aloneness of afflictions, but glory in the shared love that unites Heaven and earth, and in a seal that binds one to another. For even as ye are sealed up unto your families, ye are sealed up unto Me, which is the eternal nature of oneness that man knoweth not; for the binding is of a oneness that is eternal. So rest My son, and let thy body be nurtured by the Heavens that ye serve. Know the fruits of love and of the Tree of Life that ye partake, and ye shall know nothing but a pureness of love that is the joy of the Heavens. For even as thy body is tried thy heart rejoices with the angels.”
After I received this writing I went back into a deep sleep and awoke refreshed and full of energy as promised with His invitation. This writing is beautiful to me because it speaks volumes of our need for the pure love of service. Last night, Sunday evening, I just returned from a trip to Utah where I found opportunity after opportunity to give service. This was my time for needed rest from my full time job, and found myself working with church and business up to the time I left and then, while there, found myself busy in the service of others. Perhaps if I share some details, the above writing might make more sense as he lists some of the ways in which I served.
My sister is a school teacher and I flew back with the intention of helping her move into a newly constructed school, new classroom, and new curriculum. A lot for just one of these but all three at one time was overwhelming. So as I helped her I also came upon many other ways to serve. For in the writing when the Lord speaks, ‘of those waiting for eternal peace’, I was given several opportunities to share and give my witness of my return to Christ and His gospel. And in sharing it gave one family hope for a wayward brother and his spouse who have wandered from the church. Another, it gave hope as she was searching for her own, as she called it, ‘Mormon testimony.’ As she is finding a call to return to the roots that she left nearly ten years ago; she called our meeting, ‘an intervention.’
And as my sister and I took a break, one evening from our busy work load, we attended the new Provo City Center Temple. It is so beautiful and so inspiring to the detail of the restoration. During the session I was not only moved by the offering of beauty to the Lord, but was moved as the person I was proxy communicated his excited acceptance and how he had been waiting a century for his work to be done. And then as if this wasn’t enough, as I was sitting in the celestial room taking in the beauty and meanings, the Lord communicated a lengthy message, which I wish I was able to write because most of it is gone now. But the jest of His message was affirming obedience and His being able to open more unto me as I obey. It seems like I am continually climbing a stairway of obedience, when I think that I am getting it down, there is a new level that I must climb. New and loftier ways to submit my will to His so He can give me more. My mortal mind wants to achieve and be done, but I am beginning to glimpse that perhaps this is the way of perfection and progression, the Refiner’s Fire of purification and order.
After this session my sister and I went over to my other sister’s home to see if her son would be willing for a Priesthood blessing. This nephew has been struggling with a verity of addictions, from smoking to pot and some harder substances between the two. I shared with his mother of my belief that as one opens themselves up through these altering substances that it allows the negative forces of the adversary, his minions, to vicariously use the person with their attached energy to fulfill their own cravings and desires, because the victim often unknowingly has given up his will unto them. As we talked and shared we could see his countenance change into a willingness of desire. As I laid my hands upon his head the words began to flow, the words of admonishment, words of counsel, and the words of command to depart. And so the meaning of the words spoken in the above writing, of responding angels. After the blessing he retrieved his patriarchal blessing and he share with us the most beautiful blessing I have ever read. It cautioned him several times of his obedience and mentions of his being of the company of Archangel Michael. As we read the blessing his countenance began to take on hope, and I pray that this is a jump start for a new and lasting beginning.
Almost a week of, morning to late night work on my sister’s classroom, and I was exhausted. Sunday had come, my day to fly out of Salt Lake for home. The plan was to go to Sacrament meeting and then my sister would drive me to the airport. The night before because of my exhaustion I planned to skip church, but as I woke early I remembered the counsel of the Lord in the celestial room of the temple of obedience. And in that remembering, came a desire to serve Him. So Sunday morning, to the surprise of my sister, I was ready to attend church with her. As we sat in the pew of the chapel I was overwhelmed with emotion as I saw, with spiritual eyes, the Heavens open and I saw ancestry of those attending, worshiping with and attending to their mortal relations. As I looked about the room it was hard to contain the love felt from the spiritual angels for the unknowing worshippers sitting in the pews. Thus the Lord’s mention above of, ‘The saints of service…’ And so through obedience, the Lord keeps His promise of more added blessings.
In all of this was the varied opportunities to serve and I am grateful for each. For with this writing are the teachings of service and I am beginning to see the great value of service. I will attempt to not be so critical of my service, but, ‘just to serve’, as the Lord instructed; and in so doing find my way to Him.
August 22, 2016 Monday (early morning)
“My son the Heavens are patient.”
I just reawakened to more light in the room. I woke up earlier at 5:30ish to let the cat out and as I laid back down I heard to write and before I could acknowledge more I was fast asleep again. And just now as I woke I was startled that I had fallen asleep and was afraid I had missed out on an opportunity to have a writing from the Heavens. And as I asked of the opportunity lost, that is when I heard the above statement of their patience. I begin breathing for a clear mind and the Spirit…
“Yes My son, ye are of a tired and mental exhaustion so the sleep was needed for thy favor. But as ye have come unto Me for thy guidance ye have asked thy course and direction in the decision to part the path of the beloved group of light and love (my mediation group). And I say unto thee, ‘That the course is set and the honor given as ye have written, and it is of the freedom that ye should go.’ Faith. For ye are not running in anger, or hurt, or fear, but ye have justified in thy mind’s reason. And reason is weighed out to give faith, the fruit of belief, and the fruits shall bear their fruit.
Even as I have brought thee to this place and time to receive from C., it is now a time to step away and receive the next endowment of love and honor. For even as ye have given forth the love of heart ye now are required to continue in progress of the path with you are on. For as she gave thee strength it is now for the Heavens to comfort thee, to teach thee in the truth and honor that ye have sought. And in this ye shall be blessed and sanctified. For even as she has brought thee out of fear and given the tools of strength, ye will now be blessed upon the steps of Heaven and given the strength of honor. For as ye have given thy praise unto Me it is now the Heavens will bestow great strength. For as ye give forth thy heart continually ye are given the light of love which fruit is white and shineth forth in a darkness to reveal all truth. For how can you hold unto some truth and have your hand reached forth for more. For one must partake and release unto the light given, and then more will be added. For the hand grasps a fruit of half truth and in this there is light, but not light sufficient to give thee the honor which has been thy request. For even as ye have looked unto this teacher of light, it is now for thee to look within and ye will behold a new teacher that will guide thee through every turn and give unto thee every wit that the mind, body and soul is ready to receive. For ye are Mine and why would I abandon thee now? Why would I give thee unto this place to only let thee wonder of the next step without further direction? For even as ye have witnessed the spoken belief, it is now time for thee to part from the half truth and receive a greater installment of pure, divine truth. And in this ye shall know and find Me. For as the soul progresses so doth the teachers of light, and as ye have come unto Me so I have come unto thee and in this is all truth disseminated unto the children of man. For as ye are partaking of this book given in greater understanding and greater preparation to receive. For even as ye have been brought to this place, ye are now being guided to another. A place of beauty, a place of honor in which ye will receive the desires of thy heart that will give thee strength and light to give thee the true desires of heart and soul. For as ye have come before Me in the honor of righteousness ye have given strength to the whole of wisdom and in this ye are blessed. The doctrines of submission and obedience will be fulfilled as ye receive greater light and understanding. And in this ye are blessed unto such abundance that the wealth of Heaven will shine forth through thee and give the strength that ye are lacking. For ye are concerned of pride and staying in a meekness that will serve, and I say unto thee, ‘Ye have sufficient humbleness to handle such strength or it would not be given. For in this installment ye have passed the qualifiers of testing and have proven worthy.’ And in this doth the Heavens rejoice and give praise unto the wisdom of a slow and steady hand that has built thee up. And in this is the fruit made whole and the vessel made perfect. Perfect enough to hold the light and love that floweth forth to fill to overflowing strength. For let the hand reach forth and pluck the next fruit of worthiness and receive the fullness that is yours. For ye question thy worthiness and I say unto thee, ‘Ye are not yet perfected and ye are of the world of man, and ye are made worthy through Mine sacraments.’ And in this ye are made worthy enough until that day that I bring forth in Mine hand and introduce thee to all worthiness, even perfection. And in thy Priesthood robes ye shall know the honor received and ye shall be brought unto such a light that ye will bear no more the mortal and ye will receive the honor of the Father. And in this receive the honor of the Father of All Glory, and in this is the payment of a life sacrificed unto Me. Give thyself honor and in this is the love and respect given to achieve the glory bestowed.
So look unto Me and I will guide thee to thy next steps of fulfillment. An honor that is given, and in this ye will be blessed by Heaven and earth to receive the endowment of wisdom and light. Speak softly and receive the endowment of wisdom that is thine. Praise often and behold the truth before thee. And in this ye will receive a wisdom that is of Solomon, and in this is a glory given; and ye shall not fall into a pride that will and doth befall many. Give thee continual praise and the Heavens will guide thee in wisdom. Blessed son of My heart, seek ye Me and I will not fail thee. And in this ye will find thy strength and honor, and ye will be gloried in light. Submit and surrender, and allow the Heavens to bestow. With honor and praise I bless thee.”
This writing comes in the wake of three difficult days. On Friday night I was asked to join a few friends from my meditation group to play some cards, as they often do, and I on occasion join them. These being my traveling pals to Peru, in which we have bonded over the years in our spiritual association. As we neared the end of an evening of fun and laughter I turned to one of my fellow players, who just returned from a trip to Europe to worship at the feet of his guru and asked, “What was one of the teachings that you learned from him.” After taking a moment or two of thought he turned to me and said very clearly, “ I learned from him that religion is man-made and spirituality is of God.” With his words it felt like a dagger was plunged into me and as I was in somewhat shock when another dear friend said leaning into the group with some strong energy, “And won’t the religions be surprised when they find out they have it wrong.” With the second comment, it felt like I was staggering inside as the dagger was driven deeper. I was speechless and in shock as I tried to keep my composure and recover from what felt like an assault on my spirit. As I was asking myself in my mind and focusing on the last hand of cards, ‘Why would they make these comments to me when they know my religious affiliation?’ I wondered if they could detect my shell of protection close as I tried to retain a strong appearance through my joking as it felt like a dagger was still lodged in my heart as I questioned that these are my friends… “Why?” As I said our goodbyes it was then that I began to see that they were only voicing their true belief that is in some degree of opposition of whom I have become. With this insight and in my hurt I resolved then to make a break from them. I have wondered about this break of separation over the years, wondering if my growth in the gospel was going to bring us into separate paths, and tonight was my answer. I went to bed wondering why and was still reeling from the shock of what seemed to be an attack. Deep inside I have known these beliefs that they have held but we have always respected each other enough to keep them to ourselves. It wasn’t that the words were even that strong it was the calculated intention of the strike. For just as they, I too am in a belief of what I now know to be truth and have adopted a ‘religious’ belief structure that is in opposition to theirs. And over the years we have carried the respect of allowance, until tonight. And I closed my eyes to sleep that evening in the emotional exhaustion of being wounded by those I trusted.
As I awoke the next morning, I was in a clearer state and the words of a letter from my heart began to flow. The words of love and of respect as I began my process of stepping away. As I thought about the years shared in our spiritual exploration, the many wonderful experiences on so many levels and realms, the tools and truths I have discovered in their presence and I began to feel the void of their absence. As the letter was penned of love and respect I began to wavier in courage of a loss that was so great, for these people knew me as no one else. They truly understood a part of myself that most can’t even begin to conceive. And with this realization a part of me wanted to just run back into their presence and attempt to be as if nothing had happened, to maintain the safety of non-change. And yet another part of me knew things would never be the same, as their truth surfaced so clearly.
And as I was asking for guidance and wavering in my strength, I was asking the Lord what to do. Thus the writing above that speaks of my next steps on my journey to Him. As I not only submit to Him, but allow My will to be swallowed in His and trust in His extended arm.
The letter to my friends…
Dear C. and Friends,
This is a hard letter to write. I have been tossing and turning inside ever since our time at the card table when D. and S. voiced so clearly their truth (and I would venture to say the group’s belief) about religion. I would have agreed with you about three and a half years ago but since my ‘experience’, which changed the course of my life, I have adopted a belief structure that is in direct opposition with probably most of the group. Because of our love we have shown great tolerance (on both sides), causing us to edit and stifle a part of our ideology, a part of who we are. What comes to my mind, as an analogy is a glass bottle of salad dressing. As you look at the sitting bottle the vinegar always separates from the oil. Yes, you can shake it and blend it for a time but the two always come back to their natural state… separate.
Over the years we have blended our beliefs to bring a great many flavors to our experiences. I truly believe that is was Divinely orchestrated for me to learn from you. To set me on my life path with more tools and understanding of my life, how I interact with the world and the Heavens. I will always cherish our time together, but I want to step away. I believe this will allow us both (group) the freedom to be naturally who we are without the need to edit our beliefs, that comprise who we are. I know we could continue on and still have many varied beautiful experiences, I will focus on me and say, it is difficult to be the ‘odd man out’; to be the one in the group that has an opposing view point, to be the vinegar or oil in the bottle. So as I step away, I bow in respect and love to each one of you, as I honor who you are and the great teachers you have been to me.
C., you have been such a guiding light of healing and I will be eternally grateful. I am seeing from my viewpoint, you are truly blessed for the healer of light that you are. I love you all very much and will truly miss our regular association. There will be a great void in my life and as I look to the Heavens to fill, I can only hope for Christ, Himself, to step in and continue the healing that you/all have so lovingly set into motion.
Thank you again for your love and tolerance as we have journeyed. Wishing you greater love and light!
August 30, 2016 Tuesday (3:08 am)
I woke to the cat who was stirring, as she sleeps on a corner of the bed at my feet, and as I was petting the rolled ball of fur that was purring with my touch I heard, “I can hear thee and knowest thee, and thou art blessed.” As I heard these words I had an impression to write so I gathered my paper and pen. And even as I write this I can feel an anticipation as the words are waiting to flow. A breath for Spirit and clarity…
“Yes, My son, thou knowest My word and thou knowest My love. For in My word unto thee is the glory of My love united unto man. And in this are the Heavens opened to receive such a glorious gift. For as you/man open unto Me, it is then I open unto thee with thy righteous desires brought before Me. As I have heard thee and given thee sanction to be anointed with the gift of Spirit and in this anointing is the beauty of the Heavens received. For as ye have been reading of revelation ye have begun to understand this marvelous gift unto man, as he approaches the Heavens with a humble heart. For it is in this humbleness of submission that man is united with the eternal love that floweth liberally and steadily unto the children of man, Mine creation. And as ye are sufficient to receive, ye are brought before Me in an honor of grace. For as ye speak the words of forgiveness it is then the intention of heart is valued and the act of mercy performed unto thee. And it is in this that ye are made sufficient before Me, and in this made worthy to receive. For as the natural man is an enemy unto Me it is of this shedding forth, from natural to refined, that the progress of change is made possible; and in this is My love. For it is in the gift unto man, to receive such a blessing. To bring to pass the evolution that has been the plan from the beginning of time, and in this ye are blessed. For even as this housing of mortality will be made perfect, it is then that ye will truly perceive the gift, that the Father of All Love, has given unto thee. So freely is this gift that all will behold the beauty of His love. But unto those that excel in desire, unto those will be the gift of greater light and wisdom. And upon this path is the course made into the eternities. For as a man/woman is perfected the light of love is given forth to achieve greater wisdom and knowledge. And as ye give the Tokens of Eternity, ye will be granted the passage unto greater hall of light in which the Father dwells. And in His glory are all things made possible. For the worlds are created under such wisdom, and even wisdom eternal. For as ye are brought unto such light, the mind will perceive the wisdom of all things in its beauty and form. For even as ye struggle to understand in mortality, even in this love ye will excel in light and wisdom. Even as ye watch a sponge of the sea absorb the water given so will be the mind of the worthy. And in this ye will be blessed. Oh, how glorious the gifts of such, unto the Father’s creation, to be brought unto such glory and in this are the eternal glories given for all understanding. For even in this are ye blessed.
So continue on your path of service and light, and in this ye will find thy true self which is brought higher and made refined unto love. For even as Mine servant had thee by the shoulders with the gaze of love, so it will be that I will have the same gaze, and ye will know that ye are Mine. And in this will all glory be given. For even as ye have received the embrace of love unto its understanding, ye have now experienced the embrace of wisdom. For even as ye have experienced it of him, and even know he has experienced it of Me; and this is the chain of perfection given. For in this embrace is the glory of honor, and in this ye have been blessed. For shame not, as ye looked away, for in this was the pause of breath to perceive more. For unto such a gaze is the life given unto the eternities. For even in this ye will be made worthy of mind and self, and even in this ye will be given the worth of salvation that will make thee whole. Fear not thy weakness, for in the worth of glory all will made whole unto the great light of His love. For as weakness is made whole, it is then that the mind, and the whole of man, is made worthy and given its perfection. Worry not My son, for ye are made worthy even unto these words and in this ye are made worthy unto such an embrace. For even unto such is the light given, and even unto such is the perfection received. For is not such an embrace familiar? Now your mind is enlightened in its remembrance, and in this are not the eternities given? And are ye not brought into greater understanding?
Oh My children, know Me through thy practices in Mine holy house, and thou wilt know Me, even as I Am. For it is unto such understanding that is the wisdom of foundation. And as ye begin to perceive such wisdom then all will be added, but first know thyself through this as ye begin to be made whole. Blessed are ye children that are brought unto Me, and ye knoweth not the fullness of this glory. Receive this fullness and then will ye be made to understand the wisdom of the eternities. For it is foundation upon foundation that the eternities are laid, and in this is the glory given.
Rest My son and know the blessing of such an embrace. Ye will begin to wonder of such beauty.”
Just as a note of understanding…
This past Sunday was our Stake conference, which was superb! From the evening session to the Sunday morning all was Spirit filled. Elder Hallstrom, a member of the Presidency, of the Seventy was visiting us and he carried an air of authority, wisdom and ease that was all softened with a genuine love; all of which was made witness by the Spirit. I was asked to do the floral for the meal tables and they brought them into the chapel area to embellish the general meetings. It was after the meeting, I was towards the back, that Stake President and Elder Hallstrom were making their way up the aisle as I was busy talking with friends. But as they got closer I saw President make his way over to me as Elder Hallstrom followed, and I was introduced as ‘… who did the floral.’ He was very personable and thanked me and mentioned how he loved flowers and complimented the floral arrangements. In these types of situations I am pretty shy and am of few words, I did thank him for his message that was carried by the Spirit. And in a matter of moments he was gone out the door, I assumed to get some rest for the Sunday that was fast approaching.
The following morning, I sat with my extended family that took up a pew positioned to the side of the chapel. I liked our seats I was able to view the row of authority with ease and was able to watch the perceptions and interaction from speaker to speaker as they spoke. It was so Spirit filled that my tears were flowing throughout most of the meeting. Our Stake President Spoke first that set a tone of love and Spirit to the meeting as he wove, in his usual beauty, a framework of words that the Spirit is then able to fill with a witness. He spoke of our ability to use our senses to perceive the Heavens. The Spirit was so strong the missionaries reported that even as the Mission President was bearing his testimony he teared with the Spirit, which they reported he never does. It also was with Elder Hallstrom words, as he spoke more of what I needed to hear. The Lord tends to teach what we need to hear through His servants. And I needed to hear about ‘reverence’. As he touched on it and explained that his message was not about being quiet but about reverencing the Lord through our actions. As he Spoke I was still feeling the earlier pains of asking for forgiveness from the Heavens for the prior day’s outburst of stuffed emotions all bundled into an outburst of profanity. I am still trying to weed the untamed garden of so many years. And have even liked that little edge, that is a little J. Golden in nature (Inside Mormon joke, an Apostle that was know to use a little cussing). But as I have felt the need to change it was validated with words of teaching and Spirit through Elder Hallstrom. And as we closed the meeting with the Hymn, ‘The Spirit of God’ sung by the choir and the congregation joined in on the last verse. I was trying to keep my composure as the Spirit was abundant and it seemed like the Heavens were one with us. After the meeting I was trying to make my way to connect with some friends not even noticing as I looked up and was standing in front of Elder Hallstrom, believe me I don’t seek this kind of thing. But there we were and in my surprise I thanked him again and told him that I could have listened to the Spirit speak all day long. It was then that he took me by the shoulders with each of his hands on each of my shoulders and gazed into my eyes with a depth and love, and told me that he was informed of my return to the Church and thanked me for my strength. It was in that gaze that I had to look away for just a second, and then returned to the gaze in gratitude. And thus the writing above. I did notice that afterward I felt not only honored of the embrace but it felt like I had been blessed. My heart is full for the continual outpouring of the Lord as I submit and follow.
September 3, 2016 Saturday (6:08 am)
I just let the cat out and was hoping to get a little more sleep on a holiday weekend. I was just about to crawl back into bed when an impression came to me to write. Not being sure of the origin of the thought ( from my thinking) I continued to crawl into bed, and it was then that I heard the flow of words, “Write My son, I would speak with thee.” With such clarity I welcomed the command with, “Yes Father, happily.” Breathing for the flow to begin as I have some anticipation of what the subject might be today…
“Oh My son, My son of the morning, ye wonder of the words to be spoken, to be written and it is in this wonder ye hear the love of the Heavens that ye are in a service of man, and therefore in My service. And in this I am well pleased. For as ye serve in the various capacities ye are given opportunity upon opportunity to give of self, and in so doing the flow of inspiration flows forth. And the Heavens rejoice with the connection of Heaven brought forth and in the unity accomplished. For even as the tree is rooted below it is then rooted in the Heavens and in this the perfect balance achieved, and in this is the flow of perfect proportion to flow forth through thee, unto man, and in this art My goals accomplished. For as one gives one’s self over unto the will of God, it is then that the achievements of Heaven be united with man, and the will of God goes forth in its might and splendor. Yes, splendor, because of the great joy of such accomplishment when the work of Heaven is made manifest. For it is with great intention and focus that the work of My servants serve Me. For ye wonder of such a work? Let it be known that those whom have served Me physically, now serve Me spiritually and administer unto thee and every human/mortal that walks. And it is in this service that ye are attended to and given great effort and attention. And as the efforts of this great work are accomplished it brings into balance the unity of Heaven and man, and within such a unity, great joy.
For even as ye wonder of these things, it is in the wonder that ye begin to realize the organization of councils that was spoken in this past Stake Conference. For it is council upon council that the Heavens are organized. And it is in this great system of perfection all is given great attention. And in this attention is My will brought forth. For ye think of this as an earthly structure, for man, but this is the ways of the Heavens. These ways are eternal and it is in such unity that the worlds are created, and the structure of eternity is given its form and creation. So wonder not that it is just a concept of man, but are not all things brought forth into like manner? It is upon this manner of organization that all is brought into form, and the process of organized matter is the microcosm of such thought. And just as you view and begin to understand such, then you begin to see and understand the macrocosm or greater view. For let thy mind wonder of such glory and organization. For even as I organized thee and this system, it is the work of the Father to organize such work and councils into the eternities; even unto organized glory. For even as ye have begun to understand, as ye view the teachings within My school, My house and My temple.
For in this ye are disappointed, and I say unto thee, ‘It still has all the mystery and splendor that the mind cannot even achieve to comprehend.’ Oh mind of man, ye cannot understand such a glory and such a work. So waste not thy disappointments of concepts not understood, but glory in the simplicity that the mind can conceive. For, there, is enough wonder to give thee awe. For as ye begin to see/view through these ways, are not all organized councils? So begin to see through opened eyes the beauty of creation and the manifestation of God. Be ye therefore of great joy as ye begin to see the council of Heaven is made manifest through thee. For receive ye this and the mind is brought into great wonder of the Wonder. Blessed are these words made manifest, even unto thee, and blessed art thee.”
September 12, 2016 Monday (8:03 am)
After letting the cat out, at five o’clock this morning, I went back to bed to get some more needed sleep. And now as I was just getting up again, now to feed her, I was wondering how to start the day and the many things that I needed to accomplish. It was then that I had an impression to write, and as usual as I questioned my impression, I felt another urge and then heard, “Yes write, I will speak to thee of life and death.” A little foreboding because tomorrow I see a specialist for a consultation about a growth and biopsy to check for cancer. Breathing for clarity and the Spirit as I feel some trepidation…
“Oh My son, My son. Thou thinketh that ye are of little worth because ye are of the world in thought and action, but have ye still not been of Me? Yes, your focus has been of work, and the disruption of concern, and the future of things to be. But as ye have wondered thy days, have ye still not been of Me in thy words, ‘Thy will be done.’? Oh ye that have chosen a difficult road of learning, and still ye speak of Me. Yes, ye are fragmented in concern and yet ye still serve, and wonder thy worth. For even as ye concern yourself with these thoughts of concern, do ye not see and know the strength of Heaven? Do ye not know the wonder of forgiveness? For ye blame thyself and find thyself unworthy because of thy past, and ye even now begin to beat thyself with unworthiness of a life lived, and thy lack of disciplines of a life lived. And ye make thyself a whipping post of unworthiness. And it is upon this shame that the evil one adds fuel of thought to bring thee down. For have ye not been attacked with thought after thought in the subtleness of his deception? Oh, and ye still wonder of his influence, and the weight of self-criticism and justice. For ye wonder of the judgment of life lived and payment of a past that was of shame. And I say unto thee, ‘The past has been forgiven.’ Yes, choices do bring retribution, but ye think that the past is being lived in thy physical health. But are ye not forgiven of a life lived? Are ye not My son of serving? And do ye not think that thy life is of worth? For ye question thy worth because ye art buffeted upon the weight of a life lived and the core belief of thy youth… that ye are of little worth of love. Oh ye that suffer of such thinking, for ye still wonder of a love that will bring thee hurt and pain. And ye wonder of a world that holds more pain than joy. So in this ye wonder and wait, and in this is the law of attraction, and ye wonder what will befall thee next. Oh Life of Wonder, thinketh thee of joy and the life of pain will be of a goodness, and the life of worry will be calmed. For ye hold the key of thy strength and weakness in thy thoughts. For even as ye have lived ye have been of a worry and in this ye have wondered, and named a rabbit energy of prey, and in this ye worry of what comes next. But is there not also a lion within thee that waits to be expressed? For ye have come upon the world in a mind of worry that ye have learned, but of what strength is worry, but a dead energy? For as ye adapt and change let thy thought patterns follow. For are ye not working on this thought pattern of change in other areas? So now let thy concerns be of a change and begin to live! For has it not taken shake up after shake up to shake thee out of thy settled ways? And ye still want and desire the rabbit hole of fear. Oh My son, thinketh not that ye are of a comfort of a lion of prey, and not the lion’s prey? For yes, ye have concerns, but ye are swallowed up in worry. And ye become the issue rather than attacking the issue in a confidence that is of a lion. For yes, ye are beyond instinct and have reason, but take this metaphor and bring forth the lion within instead of defeating to the victim energy of life. For in this victim energy ye wait to retreat in hiding to numb thyself with endless hours of television watching, to shut off the mind of worry. But I say unto thee, ‘Be no more the victim of life, and be a lion of life.’ For did I not create a balanced food chain for all of life? And in its balance is there not joy found within each creation? But are ye not beyond this creation of prey? Are ye not My son, cloaked in the glory of thy Father? And yet ye think lowly, and in this dishonor thyself and thy glory. Be ye of strength of a lion, and in the wisdom of the Heavens. And in this ye will find the joy of love, love of self and love of others. For how can ye serve fear and love, and have a peace of mind and body? Choose ye this day to serve love, and in this ye serve Me. Focus thy thoughts of love and it will change your life of action. And ye will be of a strength that begets the lion, whom walks not in fear.
Therefore approach thy life in a thought of love being thy focus, and walk as a lion in all that ye encounter and ye will then know the peace and joy of the Heavens. And in this ye will find wisdom in all things. Approach thy life in this manner and ye shall know no death, but eternal joy. Therefore live the metaphor and attack thy day with the sureness of knowing whom thou art… a son of God, Creator of All… worthy of all. Elevate thy thoughts to this and ye will no more be ruled by the ego of fear. Which is a great tool of he who fights against Me. Elevate thy thoughts and be the warrior of life, from the realms of love that knows himself in the service of man. Be bold My son, be bold and know thee, even as I am.”
Just a note…
In this writing the Lord refers to something that I named as, ‘rabbit energy.’ A few years back I was talking to a friend and referred to myself as having ‘rabbit energy’ in as much as being like an animal of prey that is always looking around in fear of any danger that is lurking. And so the Lord uses this metaphor to further drive His point of my living in fear.
It was interesting shortly after the writing, without any solicitation of my own, I saw in my mind’s eye a view of the tail end of a lion in its swagger. And as I saw him in this swagger I saw a part of myself split off and slip within him to experience life through confidant eyes. Another level of healing to focus my thoughts.
September 15, 2016 Thursday ( 8:38 am)
It being a workday at home I allowed myself to sleep in and get some needed sleep. As I was getting up I felt an impression to write and as I asked I heard, “Yes, My son, write.” I have no idea in which the topic could be and a little curious/ anxious. Breathing for the Spirit to flow…
“Yes My son, ye are of an open heart and mind, for in thy prayers ye continue to ask to come unto Me and serve. And in this ye give Me the freedom to appoint unto thee the blessings of Heaven. And in this freedom of asking to continually come closer unto Me ye seek the freedom of the physical realm and the blessing of companionship of Heaven, and in this same stream of desire I have sent forth teachers of light to guide thee. That ye might know the mysteries of Heaven. For as ye seek ye shall find. As ye desire the Heavens shall be opened unto those who are worthy of such. And it is because of such belief and desire that the mind is willing to accept all that I have. It is not only predicated upon law but it is also determined by the ability to open one’s mind to such belief to receive. For have not the Heavens been opened unto thee and have not wonders been shown? And it is upon these wonders that ye shall be blessed to receive until it is upon thee to understand the ways of Heaven and a world unseen. For even as ye seek Me, a love of oneness, and it is in this desire that I am bound to thee, and be as your Guide in the realms of uncertainty. For even now your mind is asking and wondering of the coming trails that ye have been so diligently preparing. Ye wonder and desire to know of what and when and I continue to say unto thee, ‘Soon.’ For if ye were to know the exact time, would ye be able to bare such a burden? Would ye loose thy mind in worry and concern? But let Me give thee this, ‘No more than a year will be government of change and in this the world will shake as never before. And in this art the coming of the time of tribulation that ye have been preparing.’ For even as ye wonder of what and when, ye will be led unto the needed understandings at the time of the need. For wonder not of ‘if’, but of ‘when’ , and in thy preparing ye will be blessed to know and understand. For ye concern thyself with a clear mind to receive, in such chaos, and I say unto thee, ‘Would I bring thee to this very thing and then abandon thee? Will I not give thee such clarity to know and understand? For trust in this very thing and ye will be given understanding in its own time. For ye feel alone in thy belief, but the Spirit of concern is bearing witness, and the urgency to prepare will be received by those open to receive. Cry out with thy voice warning, and let them hear, that will hear; and let them mock that will mock. But cry out that the warning may not be upon thy head, but upon those that are too deaf to hear and too hardened of heart to believe. Oh the virgins of oil lamps, are ye not the same? Come unto thy truth in this and ye will be of a belief that will not falter in voice and knowing. For it is My will to be of a preparing even as the day is calm. For even as the day is calm it is in one day, even one hour that the world will be changed, and those without oil will be of a crying in a wilderness of doom.
Oh ye that know raise thy voices unto thy neighbor and in this is the word of revelation given forth, that the world might know of which is soon upon them. And by doing such ye will be as the voice of Heaven crying out. ‘Prepare ye, prepare ye, for the day surly cometh when all will know the King of kings, and Lord of lords, and He that reigneth will govern the nations as one.’ But until that day allow thy voice to be heard as a warning and preparation. Cry out unto Me and I will send forth the Armies of Heaven to bear thee up as the day cometh that ye will be of a protection and the forces of evil will be released upon the children of man. For even as it is of a breaking down, it will be of such wickedness that the people will wonder if there is no Heaven. And I say unto thee, ‘Falter not and know that the Heavens step back and allow the world to come unto judgment and their own condemnation. And it will be as the children of the Passover, that the Lamb’s blood will protect even amongst such destruction.
So fear not the day of chaos, but fear not having the voice of God in thy heart to give thee comfort. Receive these words and know in thy heart that the word of God is upon thee, and it is even in this that ye should cry forth in thy voice of belief and understanding. For even as ye have been blessed to hear, it is now for thee to bear these very blessings upon thy shoulders, as not a burden but a blessing. Cry out and let thy voice be heard. Bear witness of Me and My word, and in this are the blessings of Heaven given unto those that know and receive the word of God. And in this there is no time to question and be timid as ‘the rabbit’ but as the mighty lion. For even as ye open thy mouth in truth the Heavens of Spirit is ready to reveal. Come ye, come ye to an understanding of this and ye shall know the mind of Heaven to prepare.
For even as Noah, and Joseph of old, and Moses, and the peoples of Nephi that wanted a sign, even in all of these did not the voice of Heaven cry forth to prepare? And even now, that same voice cries out and it falls upon deafened ears, unless one is hearing and knows the Spirit of Love.
So cry out, those that can hear, for soon the world will be changed. And in this will be the beginning of the end, which the world has been warned. And soon the very word will be fulfilled in its detail, and words of the prophets fulfilled. And even this will be the ushering in of the Lamb, who’s blood has flowed for this very purpose of love. Cry forth and know in thy heart that the truth is upon you. Cry forth and be comforted, even in this.”
September 25, 2016
I just woke and as I did I had an impression to write, and as I was desiring more sleep I heard, “Write My son I will speak with thee.” As I am breathing I hear that I will be blessed in my desire and exhaustion…
“Yes My son, I would speak with thee concerning worship, and praise, and the gift of receiving; which the Spirit gave so freely in thy worship. For as ye come unto Me in praise, it is then that I can come unto thee. And in this manner ye felt the freedom of the outpouring of joy and love. For as a soul pours out such a desire and devotion ye cannot withstand the Spirit that washed over thee. And it is in such honor that the Heavens received such praise and glory. For thy heart raised up and in this ye were blessed. For even of such ye have known and ye will know again. For come unto Me in such and I will come unto thee again; and it is in such devotion and outpouring that the Heaven’s are opened. For ye speak of honor and glory and it is in and through this manner of worship that ye know the rapture of joy.
Oh My son, ye know now the freedom of worshipped expressed. For there are many forms of lifting thy heart unto the Heavens and ye have been blessed in this. For come unto Me often in such a praise and ye will receive such a washing of Spirit that ignites the flame of anointing, and in this ye are blessed.
Oh My children of the Lord, ye cause to question forms of worship but is not all the love of the heart acceptable unto Me? And if there is wholesomeness and purity, is not such a gift unto Me? For such desire lifted up will be blessed with the washing of Spirit, and blessed in such a way of devotion received. For how can I ignore such beauty, even of this? Oh ye children of Light, lift up thy hearts as an offering unto Me and ye will be blessed. Glory and praise be given so, amen.”
Just a note of understanding …
Last night I had to work late at my retail store, as I often do I turned Pandora to one of my favorite stations for working late, ‘Hillsong’. I was introduced to Hillsong by a co-worker, it is modern Christian worship music that has a beat that helps me keep busy working and give praise to the Heavens at the same time. As I was listening, the repeating words of worship brought me into my heart, as I was filled with love that was so full and overwhelming that I chose to sit in my desk chair and give my full attention to the fullness of Spirit. As I sang the words of praise and glory to the Father, I spontaneously raised my hands to the Heavens in a form of worship that I have witnessed others do on television and I have experienced in my past that ended in the same fullness of Spirit. As I worshipped and lifted my heart to Him, as an offering, I surrendered myself and was washed with the Holy Spirit. A fullness of joy washed over me as I was in a complete union of the love and unity of God. As I observed myself I was a little surprised, and embarrassed if anyone could see me, looking like so many others I have viewed on television in worship with hands raised and tears streaming, but I cannot deny the holy connection that filled me with so much love in my state of devotion. So it is the next morning that I received this acknowledgement of the praise accepted.
September 30, 2016 Friday morning
I’d like to share an experience that I had this morning. As I was waking, in that first thought, I often will voice my love to the Father. And as I did, this morning, I had a desire to pray. I contemplated my prayers and lately I have felt a little repetitious. In this contemplation, the thought came to me to offer a wordless prayer of energy from my heart. So as I laid there, still in bed, I placed the soles of my feet together and my palms flat on my chest surrounding my heart. As I assumed this position and began to breathe, I could feel my body fill with energy. It was like the circuits of my energy were complete. I could feel the energy being self-contained and begin to move in a current of continuous flow creating a figure eight configuration. As my energy continued to flow in this format I remembered that this is the symbol of eternity, as I began to focus on my heart. As I focused upon my heart, with my intention, I witnessed my heart energy begin to lift to the Heavens. As it rose from me I felt like I was having a dual view, witnessing from within my body and from the view of outside my body. As I viewed from within, I could see my heart energy now shooting up from me racing to the Heavens. In this observation, I was surprised as I saw something cross the path just ahead of my racing beam of light and emotion. I suddenly saw a sword appear in my energy’s path which brought it to a halt. With this image my thoughts immediately went to Cherubim, as I wondered if I was doing something wrong, something forbidden. As I was lost in my questioning mind I heard the words, “Who seeketh the Heavens?” I then answered, to my surprise with a since of confidence, “I am a son of the Father.” As my questioning mind silently asked, “Who are you?” Still wondering if I was in the wrong. It was then that I heard, “I am the king of the world.” And as he said this my eyes were awakened and I knew it was the adversary. With this awareness I began to cast him away, in the name of Jesus Christ. On the third sentence of rebuke he vanished and I witnessed my energy of love continue its course upward. In the dual witness I saw my energy shoot up through a dimensional layer, and as it did I saw it shoot past beings of light dressed in robes of white. As my energy, on its course made itself known, I saw them turn in acknowledgement and watch as it continued its assent. As it traveled even higher, I was both surprised and in a sense of awe as I viewed what came next… my energy was in the presence of the Father. I was in awe but not overwhelmed, as I witnessed Him turn to my energy beam that rested in front of Him as He reached out and with a gentle deliberateness, He touched my beam of energy with His hand or finger, not quite making out which, but knowing that the touch generated the message, “Seek no more the light of the world, that slowly dims, but seek the everlasting light of love, the love of God.” I then asked, “Father, is this forbidden?” Wanting to be very clear that I wasn’t transgressing any law. And I immediately heard, “And why would this be? Seek Me in all that you do and I will seek thee in the earthly realm.” I was filled with a fullness of gratitude as the experience diminished before me, and I was left to ponder my experience.
Again, I don’t share this to say, “look at me.” But as another witness of the finer dimensions of experience. After and during the day I pondered such an experience of realities, and as I was enduring the mind questioning realities and my worthiness of such an experience. It was with these questions that I set them aside knowing that I cannot comprehend all that is possible, but I must not diminish that which is given. And in this I surrender to the beauty of what is and can be.
October 5, 2016 Wednesday (5:55 am)
I just woke up and was hoping to go back to sleep. I spoke a quick prayer of gratitude to the Father while I was turning over to go back to sleep. As I snuggled into the warm bed I had an impression to write and as I questioned I heard, “My son, I will always speak with thee.” With these words I rolled back towards the light, turned it on and began to breathe for clarity and the flow of words…
“Oh My son, ye of a choice and confusion, as to selling thy business. And I say unto thee, ‘It is because of this very confusion that there is no movement in the realm of the physical.’ And it is in this that frustration after frustration affects thee. For if ye lack clarity then how can the Heavens move heaven and mount to aide thee? For if the intention is one thing and then shifts to the other, how can ye have the support of certainty. For ye hope for the Heavens to support thee in making thy decision, but I know say unto thee, ‘Use thy wisdom and then set forth thy course, and in this way can Heaven move the very course to aide thee.’ But it is in the very tug-of-war of mind that plays into the non-movement of such an answer. For is not the very support being offered thee? Was not the offer of a lawyer to write a contract an offer of support? But it is now thee to make the act to bring forth the continuation of completion. Even now as ye contemplate the change that it will bring, ye go into a mixture of emotions, and it is in this that ye are hindered in the movement of Heaven to aide thee.
Oh ye that wonder of such, yes it is common to have such a mixture of energy but how can a clear course be cut in a forest of mixed desire and without a compass of direction? Be ye of a certainty and ye will see the progress of change. Oh ye peoples of the faith, ye wonder of no action in thy desires and it is often because of thy lack of a true desire. You want to leave it to fate, to the Heavens, to what is best… but how can a best be facilitated without a direction and desire? For if you question a course then ask for clearly for My inspirations of answer, and as ye then choose, it is then that a course will follow of opportunities for that course to be made complete. For Heaven will not take away thy choice in thy confusion. So seek resolve, bringing thy humble desires before Me, and it is then in such clarity and submission that the mounts will crumble to give thee pass and the roads to freedom will be revealed unto thee. Seek me in thy heart and allow the worthiness of thy desires to move thee into freedom. Blessed art thee in this as ye seek and desire Me. Blessed art thy name as Heaven wants to give thee hope. Blessed art thee.”
October 10, 2016 Monday (11:44 pm)
I just crawled into bed from my knees after saying my bedtime prayer, and as I was covering myself with my bed cover I had an impression to write. This was confirmed when I heard words beginning to flow as I quickly scrambled to find more paper. Now breathing for the Spirit and continued flow…
“Yes My son, it is in the wisdom of the Heavens that ye should hear, know and understand the many things pertaining the experience of joy and wonder that was gifted to thee as ye lifted up unto Me. And in this manner ye received Me and ye understood not that which ye beheld. For even as ye have come before Me in an attitude of goodness and ye perceived the reality of Heaven and in this ye are blessed…
Father forgive me, as my body is exhausted and keeps falling asleep…
Just a note …
I have felt horrible about myself and this lost writing. I have beat myself up mercilessly with, “How could I…” To have that beautiful experience of the Heavens and then to let Them and myself down. And as I was beating myself up it is then that the adversary joined in and the last couple of days have been a pure hell. As I was in the depth of feeling low it was then that I could sense and feel that these personal assaults were not only generated from my own thinking and could see the spiral of darkness that I was on. With this awareness I gathered my strength and started to rebuke the forces of darkness that were bombarding me with so much negativity. It felt like as I would begin to lift myself up, I would be pummeled again with everything that they could use against me. It seemed like a scene out of an action movie where you see the person relentlessly hit with arrows or bullets and that person continues to fight with all of their strength to overcome. And it wasn’t until I declared my allegiance to Jesus Christ and the Father that I could feel some relief of the war being raged. And so it was in this mind-set of exhaustion that I received this next writing, a much welcomed blessing from the Heavens.
October 12, 2016 Wednesday (5:57 am)
I just woke up and was hoping to fall back asleep when I heard, “I continue to speak with thee.” I gratefully switched on the light and gathered my pen and paper, as these words are an answer to my prayers of guilt and my many prayers pleading for forgiveness. Now breathing for the words flow again…
“Yes My son, the tormented mind and spirit is but of an asking, for the pains of guilt to be lifted from a heart dedicated to Me. For it is in these very pangs of guilt that the adversary fights and draws thee away from thy strength, and in this weakness of spirit and light ye have heard My call unto thee in the simple words repeating, ‘Shrink not.’ For he would drag thee into the abyss of torment having thee think that all is lost, and thy worth is of nothing for the simple weakness of body in its imperfect state. For as ye have come unto Me and poured out thy heart, ye have been heard. And the love of My heart is turned unto thee in thy struggles of pain and torment. For as the law of justice is given its turn, so ye have not faltered in thy obedience and ye have stayed steady as he has bashed thee against the rock of thy foundation. For the very soul of thee has been tormented unto righteousness. Even as ye hear these words ye wonder of thy righteousness in thy torment and I say unto thee, ‘Did ye fall? Did ye collapse under the weight of such torment?’ For if ye could see the weight of his minions, ye would see the beauty of thy strength. For as a man/woman comes before Me, and is given the glory of God, it is then given the swing of justice to the equal of glory. That I am not accused by he who fights against Me on that day of judgment to be an unfair and partial God. And I say unto thee, ‘That ye have carried the weight of a fair God, and in this I am well pleased.’ For the strength of his work against thee shows thy strength, that is not without weakness, but ye did not fall, ye did not fail. Even as ye declared unto Heaven and earth thy loyalty unto Me, ye cried forth in honor of declaration that rang out to the dismay of hell’s very fury. Oh My son, blessed art thou in this, and proud is My heart as ye have weathered the storm of righteousness. Ye even now question this depth of thy righteousness but ye do not see the depth of the weight against thee. For ye would quake with fear if ye and man could see the forces at work. But it is of a blessing that the veil is drawn and ye see only that which is before thee, for ye would collapse in defeat at even the sight of the war waged against thee. But rejoice in this for ye have weathered the darkness and art made stronger in this. Call forth a cry of victory as ye have sent this very darkness in defeat. For they now know the strength of My love and it is in thee.
Oh ye peoples of salvation, know this, that as ye come close unto Me it is this that ye will be given that ye might not be judged in favoritism. As I would, if I could, stay these very forces but it is through such that all must pass to even call ye righteous and My elect. So fear not this passage but gather My love about thee and your heart shall pull thee through, even as this, My servant of My love. ‘Shrink not’ and ye will be blessed with even more light, and even in this is passage made strong. For as ye saw the beauty of My perfection, ye have passed through the darkness of salvation. For behold the beauty of thy strength. Oh My son, wonder not of the words lost but glory in the light given, for it in this that ye celebrate. For that which appears to be lost is found in the light received. And it is in this very process of light upon light that ye make your way unto Me. Be strong, be bold and shrink not to thy glory. Even so amen.”
It’s a couple of days after this most recent writing of assurance, which I so desperately needed as a validation of the war that was raged against me. And in His mercy and word He fulfilled His words, “For that which appears to be lost is found in the light received. And it is in this very process of light upon light that ye make your way unto Me.” As I was driving to work the day after this writing, my heart was in devotion to the Heavens when it felt as if a wave of joy swept over me. It was so intense that I had to pull over to the side of the road as I was filled with light and a rapture of intense joy. As I pulled over I felt like I couldn’t really let myself completely be swept away in the experience because people were all around, but I was in a state of awe as I tried to regain some composure as I was taken with the amount of light that seemed to be pouring into me. My heart immediately filled with gratitude as I then remembered His words, “light upon light” not understanding that the sentence was of a promised gifting of “light received.”
I am still attempting to fully understand this ‘law of balance and justice’ that continues to pop up in my experiences and in His words. If I understand it correctly, it seems that the Heavens must allow the forces of darkness to have their measure, in direct proportion to the measure of the Heavenly experience. Therefore, God cannot not be accused of being a partial and unfair God in our day of judgment. I’ve heard that God is also bound by laws, but I am amazed and humbled to be of a witness and understanding as these laws are played out and explained in my personal life. So are we to assume that with every Heavenly experience there will follow an experience of darkness? Is this to test us and our increase of light? So should I now sure myself up after receiving this recent rapture of joy? Welcome to my never-ending questioning mind as I grasp for complete understanding. And it is brought into my remembrance the closing talk of the 2016 Spring General Conference, where Elder Holland speaks of the darkness that will follow the light of the beautiful experience of the conference. Perhaps in a very subtle way he, as our inspired leaders often do, was teaching this very principal or law. As I ponder these things I am grateful even with the promise of more darkness. For I could never turn back on my sacred journey after experiencing this incredible rapture of light, which seems like a promise of things to be.
October 19, 2016 Wednesday (6:10 am)
I just woke up and as I did, I immediately heard, “My son write.” It is still dark and not knowing the time, as I have my alarm set for 6:15 and asked, “Will I have enough time, Father?” I heard no response but either way I have every intention to not let another opportunity be passed to write. Breathing as I wait for the words to flow…
“Oh My son, I have asked thee to write that ye might know the disappointment of thy will and timing, and yet ye are of My heart. And in this ye need not be extreme in thy self-torture and self-discipline. For as ye have asked, in thy prayer, ‘Why?’ So it is that I say unto thee, ‘That the influences are still upon thee.’ But not in the onslaught of strength; when ye sit at the television to escape thy exhaustion, ye are hiding from the responsibilities of pain. For ye are in overwhelm and have fallen into thy childhood pattern of avoidance. And so it is that ye hide from your responsibilities and abuse your body with the lack of sleep to become numb. And in this it brings great delight to the workers of darkness because it keeps thee bound in/to a cycle of dysfunction and shame. For as ye knelt in bedtime prayer did ye not ask, ‘Why?’ And were ye not exhausted in your prayer of shortness? And in this ye are burdened in a shame that keeps thee in dysfunction. And even now ye ask, deep in thy mind, if the television should be banned, a sin? And I say unto thee, ‘Not for a person that can limit and break free from its hypnotic grasp, but for thee it is like a drink to the alcoholic.’ And the pattern of shame is triggered by the one program that turns into the many hours that is the chain and cycle of abuse. So ye wonder, ‘What?’ and ye wonder, ‘Why?’ And I say unto thee, ‘The freedom of choice is always given, but is there pain to be rectified? What is this sadness that ye have been feeling deep within that waits to receive light? But ye hide in thy busy schedule. And even now it causes thee to squirm internally. As the fears of a child start to become a focus as ye hear the noise that triggers thy stomach to be upset as ye begin to feel thy fear of the world.
Oh My son, yes, ye have no time, but can ye not know the pain waiting? Can ye not feel the cycle of hiding, as it has a subtle but strong hold upon thee? Oh My son, fear not the unspoken as ye have the love of Heaven and earth to support thee as ye face thy hidden shame to be healed. As ye desire light, ye must release to become whole unto Me. And in this ye have wondered, ‘Why?’, as ye felt its subtleness, and in this ye run just enough of the feeling to stay safe. And ye numb thyself with food and television to be safe of that which is waiting for thee. And in all of this ye remain safe, but separated and unable to receive the complete light of freedom. So know this and ye know thy cycle of running, and ye remain bound. But come unto the wisdom of the Heavens and become free in thy expressions, as ye see not thy bindings. Receive this gift of knowing and ye receive a key to thy freedom as ye unlock the past into the present of the future. Oh world of man, understand these connections and ye begin to understand the mystery that keeps thee bound and in servitude of the very powers that bind thee to thy pains. Understand and act, and find the true freedom from all pain. And in the understanding is found the freedom that ye seek, but never find because ye continually run from the very pain that keeps thee bound.
Oh My son, oh My children love Me in this, to seek the very recesses of shame that ye might find thy freedom in thy pain. Run no more but stand strong, and be bold in thy acceptance of thy weakness, that motivate the wars of the world and self. That keeps thee bound to all manner of dysfunctions. And in this ye shall truly be free. Oh My son, ye asked in thy bedtime prayer and so it is given. Ask and ye shall know all things before thee. Seek ye the internal as ye seek and manifest the day upon day, and hide from thyself. Ye seek freedom and this is thy path; experience, realize and be whole again. Even in this ye have My love.”
October 20, 2016 Thursday (5:50 am)
I’ve woken up a couple of times throughout the night and in those waking times have asked for forgiveness because of going to bed late after watching television. I’m not sure what is wrong with me? I had a wonderful time leading my meditation class where I could feel the Spirit so strong and thick in the air. It was after my class and about 9:45 that I was just grabbing some dinner because of running straight from work to home to prepare for arrival of the class members. And in my exhaustion wanted to sit in front of the television and eat and catch up on the update of the last presidential debate. And again it led to another after another as I just wanted to ‘veg’. It felt wrong as I took the remote in my hand, but just wanted to relax after a long and full day, as I ignored the promptings and went with my desire. And now I am asking myself, ‘Why?’ After I have been given so much and now this again! So now in my lamenting heart I hear, “I will speak with thee, if thou will write.” I begin breathing in my shame and some concern of His words, but willing to take His rebuke to keep the lines of communication flowing. I begin to breathe as I hear in the back of my mind, “How could I…” I am having to work hard with my breath as I can start to hear some words of Spirit and then it is overwhelmed with so much self negative emotion and judgment. Still breathing… too difficult to hear.
October 22, 2016 Saturday (3:30 am)
I woke up and heard, “Son I would speak with thee.” As I questioned my worthiness I heard in reply, “Thou art My son and will never abandon thee.” Being filled with gratitude, I switch on the light and begin to with this introduction and as I am writing I hear, “Write and I will pour out My heart to thee.”Breathing…
“Yes, My son, welcome Me with thy breath and in this ye surrender unto the Breath of Life and give forth thy heart unto All That Is, and in this offer thyself unto Me and I am well pleased to call thee son. For yes, ye stumble and even fall, but it is in thy own will that ye pick thyself up. And it is in this that ye give thyself even more unto Me, and in this I am well pleased. For how can the Heavens hold thee in contempt, when thy pleading heart is calling forth the mercy of Heaven, in its love and forsaking devotion. For even as ye feel unworthy, ye continue to knock and plead for thy salvation. And in this the heart of God, even Mine heart, is made pure in thy offering unto Me. Ye stop and question the words written, ‘… made pure…’ And ye wonder how a God of purity can be made pure? For thy mind questioned this relationship of implying impurity. But I ask thee, ‘Dost thou think that choice is only for the mortal? Do ye think that will is not for the Divine and Pure?’ For I say unto thee, ‘That even the Most High are given agency.’ And in every moment is the flowing choice of darkness. But why would a … Write the words as thy flow. For ye think that ye are ‘in over thy head’ in the very thinkings of God. And I say unto thee, ‘Why would I not reveal Myself? Why would ye not know the very mind of God? For does it not help thee to know Me as I am? To know thy Father?’ Thou thinketh that the shroud of mystery is not to be unveiled for thee, and those that read these words. But I say unto thee, ‘Come forth and allow thy minds to know Me as I am, and in this ye begin to see and know thy Father, that commands all things. And in this manner ye begin to know thyself.’ For what off-spring does not want to know its beginnings and origins? And in this ye begin to glimpse the possibilities of what can be. For dost thou think that the choice of darkness is lost in Godhood? But I say unto thee again, ‘That choice is in the fact that darkness is always streaming.’ And in this fact there is always choice. But a God that is streaming light of pureness is beyond the capacity of darkness, because the streaming choice is constant, but will is made manifest in light.
Breathe and continue thy focus, even as thou drift in thy exhaustion and focus… For in thy thinkings ye wonder and ponder, the purity of God. And I say unto thee, ‘That the fact of darkness streaming is a choice, but the purity of God is never compromised.’
Ye are struggling, My son, therefore rest thy exhausted mind and body, and know the mind of God is upon thee, and the heart of God is streaming the purity of love unto thee as ye continue to make thy way unto Me. Know thyself and ye begin to know thy possibilities, and thy origins of Godhood. For each have the spark of Divinity, but it is in some to dwindle and some to burn bright as light is given and received. Let thy light shine forth and in this ye begin to realize thy possibilities in Me.
Rest thy mind, My son, and know My love is always streaming. And in this streaming that ye are given the choice to open and receive the purity of love. Rest and know Me in love.”
October 23, 2016 Sunday (11:03 pm)
I was just pouring out my heart in my bedtime prayer and as I was ending the prayer I heard, “Write , My son, write.” I am so willing and filled with gratitude as I gather the pen and paper. Breathing for the flow to begin…
“Oh My son of the morning, thou hast given Me thy heart and body, and in this ye have sacrificed all and in this ye have given Me thy servitude with thy obedience. And with this there is nothing more than endurance and thy radiant transition from mortality. And in this ye will be/reign by My side again as a son of the morning, and in this ye will be raised up in glory and honor. And as ye have continued to commit and recommit unto Me. It is in the mercy of the law that ye have been given the justice of obedience and forgiveness. And as ye continue to make thy way unto Me, it is in this that the halls of mercy are given for thee to pass. For thou that offer their all unto Me it is then that the glory of the sun/Son is given unto them. For as the Son of All Righteousness was laid upon the alter, so the mercy of His blood is given freely, that all that follow in His path may pass the halls of mercy unto Me. And in this ye will pass, and be restored, and made whole in the shadow of justice. For justice will be paid and the glory will shine forth to shine on thee to make thee whole once more. For in that day the same thorn will be removed to never burden thee again. And in this ye will be as the sun in all radiance, and glory will be given. For how can I turn from thee in such honesty of pure intention? For ye have prayed, ‘Forsake me not…’ and in this plea of mercy. And in this ye are given full pardon of thy sins unto Me, and in this ye are washed clean again to radiate the pure light given. Raise forth and honor that which has been given in His price. For all that is forsaken for Me is given its radiance in the world to come. So think of this life as an injustice but as a sacrifice unto Me. For even as the Holy One was laid upon the alter for all, let each lay themself for himself, and in this ye will find the glory of such an offering, as glorious as any offered. For what more is left? To offer unto the Father of All, but the completion of such an offering. Endurance is the price for such given and in this ye will flow with light unto the end. Fulfill these things and all will be given in its fullness. And if only man could truly know this, there would be no sin.
So My children of the law, come forth in thy offerings unto Me and in this ye will behold the glory of the Father, whom bids thee to come. And in His mercy will give thee the key of all mystery. Rejoice unto Me and receive that which is given in the heart. Therefore rejoice in praise and receive the light of justice paid.
Peace, My son, peace unto thy soul even as ye are forgiven.”
Thank you Father, Thank you.
Just a note…
This writing came upon my pleading for forgiveness. Its going on four years since my return, in fullness, to the Lord. And during this time I have looked back, but never with a mind and heart of desire to leave what I have now known. It was a weakened night trying to avoid the restrictions of television so I turned to the computer and it was in a message sent to me that triggered, like thought upon thought, that led me to the precipice of darkness. It was as if the maverick from my past desired the freedom of the open range more than the corral. It was this looking to the past that should have turned me into a pillar of salt to stand beside Lot’s wife. It was in those thoughts of longing for a freedom from restrictions, that I heard the promptings of the Spirit but turned away. And with my natural ears heard the words that spoke to my heart, the pain of trying and what seems like failure upon failure as of late. It would just be easier to be who I am in this world rather than the continual fight to change, what seems at times, can’t be changed. I was reminded of the words of Paul, the disciple of Christ, when he speaks and pleads to be free of his thorn of the flesh. And so I finally came to my senses and snapped out of the stupor state that even caused the Spirit to withdraw from Me. And in this darkened state began to feel the wait of sin, not the sin of the physical but the weight of spiritual sin. A weight that made me fear for my salvation after receiving so much. In this weight of shame, I went immediately to my knees and began to plead and open my heart again to the Spirit. And in my honest pleas of the heart, the Heavens opened once more as the light began to pour into Me again.
I know that the Heavens are only trying to shape and mold me to be able to hold even more light, but the last several weeks to months have been particularly difficult. It feels like the forces of light and dark are battling over my very soul. And with every step forward with experience upon experience of light, the darkness is given its due. I know it sounds pathetic, but with all the pressures of the seen and unseen worlds … I just want to watch TV. But in my commitment to Him, today I have been working on in-putting these writings and reading the scriptures. With all that has transpired over the last week or so I am reminded of the Lord’s teachings in 3 Nephi, of the Book of Mormon, where He admonishes the people (us) to continually pray so that the adversary doesn’t lead us astray. And to this I can add my testimony!
October 28, 2016 Friday (6:11 am)
I just woke up and heard, “Write.” I’ve only had four hours of sleep, because of my own choosing, and I am anxious about the tone of this writing…
“Oh My son, thou art in the love of God and yet ye want to hide because of thy shame and thy nakedness of disobedience, and ye are afraid of Me. Yes, ye have chosen to defy the counsels of Heaven and ye turned to the television, to watch as ye ate your dinner in your exhaustion. And did your exhaustion find a cure in the late night watching? Did ye honor the body and soul with thy disappointing defiance? And in this ye are a disappointment. And yet ye turn your heart honestly in prayer that speaks honestly of thy weakness and confusion of lack of will. For in this honesty I, the God Almighty, am softened in knowing thy heart, but still I cannot deny justice. For this is what ye feared, and this is why ye are in avoidance, as your mind desires sleep even now as I want to give thee thy punishment of disobedience. For ye continue to knowingly turn from Me in complete denial of the Spirit to seek the… ( I keep drifting into a dream-like state of mini dreams that are not related; I then bounce back into consciousness trying to write. I feel pathetic.) I begin breathing again for the words that are of my avoidance…
“Oh My son, ye are of a cause and effect, which ye have brought upon thyself because of thy disobedience and shame. And in this ye are to be void of the Spirit for a space of three days, that ye might know thy own pain and the price of thy own workings. For as ye have desired to be free of the burden of obedience, ye will be free of such; and even as Jonah tried to flee and find freedom of a life lived unto obedience , and so it is with thee. And in this ye will learn the costs/price of sin. For even as ye are void of the light of direct counsel, ye will be given the Light of the World, which will continue with thee as it does unto every soul. But seek Me not, for the very blessing which ye have taken lightly will be shortly in its effects. Seek thy soul and wonder of such a life as ye receive the reward of denial of Spirit. Even as ye are loved ye need to know the disappointment of continued sin. Rest easy in thy mind of the limit of such punishment as the counsels will resume after the third day, and in this ye will know My counsels again. Ponder such a life as ye receive this very loss.”
Just a note…
During this three day time period of punishment (reward), I could feel the loss of presence of the gift that the Lord has so graciously bestowed, to receive His word and counsel. There was definitely a void! And I didn’t realize just how much I have grown accustomed to prayer in my daily life. For He really meant, “Seek Me not” because I would find myself starting to commune with the Heavens throughout the day and I would quickly hear His words, “Seek Me not.” Repeat over and over in my mind blocking any communication. During this time for my evening and morning prayer I would kneel and give a feeling of gratitude, but it seemed very strange to not to raise my voice to the Heavens. On a few occasions in the beginning I would forget and speak my prayer to Him and His words would repeat, as I mentioned. I was somewhat comforted as He stated that it was for only the three days and then His counsels would resume. His stating the limited time was very effective, because I wasn’t caught up in the lamenting as I have in the past but was of an acute awareness of the void and His profound presence in my life. I think over the years I didn’t notice just how connected I have become to His counsels. So you can imagine the great void as He cut Me off from the source that I have grown to be so very dependent. Even as I write this, it is Sunday the fifth, and several times today I have wanted to just go in and numb out with the TV, but I am learning other ways to relax such as reading, a nap and here, serving Him by entering His counsels along with their affects on my life. The Lord is truly a Parent of wisdom and knew exactly the most effective way to use His discipline and teaching. For not only have I become aware of my dependence on His word to me, but also how important my flow to Him. I pray for strength as I set aside the addictive, numbing affects of television. Who knew that television would have become one of my biggest stumbling blocks… crazy!
November 1, 2016 Tuesday ( 3:43 am)
I just woke up and heard His words, “Write My son, I would speak with thee.” Relieved as I breathe for the Spirit and flow…
“Yes, My son, I would speak with thee that ye would know My love floweth unto thee, and in this ye are blessed. And in this is the blessing of My word. For even as My light shineth upon thee, it is then that the angels of love surround thee and witness unto thee the blessings of strength and protection. And in this is the sound of the shell of clinging. As an angel of love plays with thee and allows thee to know the presence made known. For in this is the playfulness of Heaven, so fear not as ye hear this. But know that the angels are near and watch over thee.
Oh My son, for ye have been of a dedication to Me, and ye have known My acceptance in searching the scripture of choice in thy study. And ye now know that the love floweth freely in My mercy and kindness. For think ye not that the love of God can be withheld, but in a short suspension as ye find thy way and make thy course unto Me again? For even as the child of learning, but be given its discipline, even in this ye need, at times, a nudge from God. To give thee, thy course, a change that ye might correct and change in Me. So blessed son, hear the praise and know thy course, that is marked by the radiant flow again. See, know and feel the signs and blessings of My love, and the praise of the Heavens. And in this, My love, is made manifest in thee. Know this and ye begin to know the love and care of God for His children. Blessing My son, a simple blessing, as ye continue thy course and make you way unto Me. Stay thy course, even in this.”
Just a note …
As I began my bedtime reading, at the end of the third day, I opened the Book of Mormon to where I have been studying and my eye automatically focused in on a verse, verse 8 of the 22 chapter of 3 Nephi, which reads, ‘In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer.’ As I read these words I was filled with a sure knowledge that they were meant for me at this very moment; as the Lord was lifting His time of withdraw and silence through these very words of the verse. And as I continued my reading I heard the ‘cling’ sound that I have grown accustom to. In my front entry I have some hanging strands of paper thin cut shells, and the strands are grouped for a décor impact. Well, over the last couple of years I, every so often, will hear a clear ‘cling’ sound ring out like a shell is being tapped. On several occasions I have gone in to see if there is a breeze that would make them hit each other and make the clinging sound. I have also tried to duplicate the sound by moving the hanging strands and realized that it would be visible to even reproduce the sound. So when I would hear the ‘cling’ over the years, I began to not go into as much fear, and just get a little ‘weirded out.’ And now with relief, this writing teaches me that it is the playfulness of the Heavens.
So with this writing I am filled with awe at the precise verse that carried His very clear message, the clinging sound of a playful Heaven, and the comfort of His magnified love as He sends forth again His light and words unto me. And with all of this is my newly realized gratitude for the freedom to raise my voice to Him. Thank you, Father.
November 11, 2016 Friday (3:55 am)
I just woke up with my reading light glaring in my face. When I went to bed, as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. Now as I wake up I glance at my phone and see the time, and hear the words, “Write My son, thou art in a mind of depression and avoidance.” So I pull my pen and paper, laying on the bed beside me, and begin to breathe. I am praying for a clear mind and heart to hear…
“Oh My son, thou art running from thy feelings of hopelessness, as ye begin to feel the emotions of doom that is leaning over a nation of judgment. And in this ye begin to feel the weight of the judgment of God, as ye are faced with the reality of the election made evident. For even as the nation of God’s chosen dwindle in unbelief, even so ye feel the weight of that which is looming ahead. And in this ye know the weight of a prophet and ye feel the weight of knowing.
For as ye withdrew the money, of preparation, did ye not feel the weight of preparation brought into reality? Even as ye watched the news, did ye not feel the cause of a nation in turmoil? Oh My son, ye must be of a heart unto Me or thy softened heart will break at the very sight of what is coming unto thee. For ye are on the cusp of change, and the physical world is giving thee the identity of such a change, as ye watch, wait and know. For as ye become an eye single to Me, it is then that ye become joyful of mind and heart in the wake of that which ye sense and know. For ye know the road to come, and ye must not let the emotions of fret overwhelm thee. Therefore lean not into the continuous news of the elections, but touch base in thy keeping abreast. Then come unto Me in thy offering of submission, and in this ye will find the hope of all things made visible unto thee. For even as ye have taught your group (meditation class) to lean unto light, it is now that ye need to also use thy tools of strength to lean unto Me. For waste not thy thinking mind in worry, for can ye change the hope of a nation in judgment? Can ye change the prophecies of generations of old becoming manifest? But ye do have the rudder of thy own life, and ye have the control of thy own will. And it is in this that ye must have a steady and sure hand as ye steer and make your way unto Me. Do not let the emotions of change overwhelm you, but allow the winds of change to be the motivating force to propel thee unto Me.
For now ye know the weight of knowing the judgment of God upon thy people, and ye know the weight of the righteous. For even as you are reading the scriptures, is this not My word unto the generations that have gone before? And are they not the same as ye now? Ye now know the weight of Moroni, as ye read of a nation destroyed in their weight of sin. And ye wonder if ye can withstand such pain of the mind, as ye art in the same process of letting go of the ways of the world, and now living in the ways of God. For when is the last time that ye truly shopped for the fashion of the world? For was that not your focus? And now ye wonder as ye pour thy focus into food and preparations. Even as your bedroom of fashion is becoming a storage of boxes; can ye see the weight of change upon thee? For are ye not in the mindset of Joseph as he laid up the storehouses of Egypt? And are ye not of Lehi as he made preparations to leave Jerusalem? And are ye not of Moses as he knew the weight of the Lamb’s blood over the door? For in all of this is the heavy heart and ye wonder how one can survive such pain of the physical. It is only as they carried the light and love of God. For ye wonder as ye now remember the conference talk of Mine servant, President Nelson, as he spoke of the joy of survival. And ye wonder at his story of the saints in song as they were driven from their homes. And it is in this same focus of an eye single unto Me. So, My son, fear not the things to be, but come unto Me continually and allow the very light of love to fill thee. And in this ye will know the love of God made manifest in thee. Come unto Me and open thy heart and allow thy pains to be converted unto joy. For yes, ye must be willing to release unto Me and not let thy attachments to the world bind thee. Come unto Me and allow My love to be thy course and in this ye will find the very peace that is needed to survive the knowing of God. Therefore release and feel the weight of God become light. Be of good cheer in a darkened world, and in this ye will become a beacon of light in a darkened world.
Therefore, continue to raise thy voice of preparation as ye watch the tide withdraw to only become a surge of change. And as ye view this stand in holy ground and ye will withstand the surge that is gathering its strength. And in this will My children be humbled again and again as the tide/time of judgment is upon them. For is this not a righteous land darkened by a sinful nation? Therefore become a receiver of light as the darkness falls upon the world. Peace My son, as ye know the love of God.”
Just a note…
It might be helpful if I explain a few points discussed in this writing. A couple of days before the election I could feel my body filled with a low grade anxiety, which continued even a few days after the finial results of the election. As the Heavens explain that my angst was not over so much the winner of the electoral process but the direction that the nation is headed. The Thursday, following the Tuesday voting, I had off from work and all I could do was sit and watch hour after hour of news as they were commentating the results. As I watched I felt this dread and depression as I continued to feel the judgment of God and the costs of a nation in decline.
As He mentioned, it was my plan all along whoever won the election during this last day off before the busy holiday work schedule to go to the bank and withdraw some cash from my account for my emergency preparation. And again as I made the withdraw the gloom weighed heavy on me.
November 19, 2016 Saturday (6:34 am)
I just woke naturally, as my alarm is set for 7:00, and I was lying in bed and giving thanks when I heard, “My son, I would speak with thee. For thou art in turmoil because of that which thou hast been given and that which thou hast received.” As I ponder and try to understand the difference, I pull my pen and paper to me. And begin to breathe for clarity and the flow of Spirit…
“Oh My son, thou art in the throws of turmoil because of these very factors of life. For that which is given are the things given thee of thy birth and the birthright given thee, and those things received are of the eternal perspective achieved through obedience and blessings received. For that which is in conflict is the very nature of thy personality and the very nature of your eternal perspective of intelligence. For one is life and earthly based, and the other is of the realm of spirit. For there are those that have a combination of that given and that received that becomes a point of conflict, and this is of your nature. For as ye become more light and receive the personality of righteousness it is then/hence that the two may come into conflict, and it is here that you are turning to the television for the relief of conflict. For as ye receive one, the other of ego, is afraid of the overwhelming influence that will take over and change the determining factors of a life lived. And in this the ego of status quo is shutting thee down.
For have I not heard your bedtime prayer of simple honesty; and have I not reached out to help thee? For thou art desirous of Me, and the ego of self is in its battle of letting go. And therefore ye are choosing to shut down in your exhaustion of work and of life. And as ye read in your scriptures of Ether, My faithful servant of past and present, were ye not desirous in thy heart to be as he with the focus of Spirit to confess unto his nation day and night the obedience to God? And in this he had no conflict of spirit, but for thee ye have this very part of the Self that is battling the very process of change. And it is this that I eluded to when I told thee of that which needed to be released from thy past. And so I am lending thee a hand of understanding that ye might move forward with the support of another to help thee breathe into the truth to be released, and in this ye will find this very part that impedes thy progress and growth. For Mine arm is given for thee to reach and grasp as ye are in a conflict of the natural and of the spiritual that ye cannot see or even know. But I do know thy desire as ye call out for forgiveness and righteousness, of a heart of desire for Me. So My son, is this not a testament unto thee that I do hear these very prayers of weakness. And of this, so then ye know, that I also cherish the very prayers of thy righteousness, and in these prayers are not the very will and desire shown unto Me? And art thy intentions of Me and for Me? And art thou desirous to be of Moroni and Ether, to be a servant of strength, honor and glory as ye reveal thyself unto Me in all honesty even as they? For did not their very weakness become a cry unto Me? And can ye not see the very promise revealed that as ye come unto Me and partake of the covenant? It is in this that thy weaknesses are shown unto thee that they might be converted unto thy strength. And as ye press forward unto Me ye will be even as these that have transpired the temporal and become spiritual unto Me; and in their very honesty of spirit continued to give unto Me their all. And art not their very desires been given the promise? For whose promise of faith, the very words of teaching on faith and charity? And whose very image fly above My temples to proclaim the very desire that he felt weak? Oh My son, can ye not see that their weaknesses were their very vehicle to their strengths? Can ye not now understand that these My servants pressed forward unto Me and are even now at My side? And when ye read of them, do ye not think that they can hear your words of gratitude to and for them? And are they not touched to their very being of the Lord’s use in their very weakness? Oh My children, get not lost in thy weakness but press forward in thy strength of determination to be of a servitude unto Me, thy Lord, and in this is the path unto the Father. And in this He will magnify thy beauty and use that which even fought against thee to give thee praise. For what honor is given to be the Angel of Proclamation, when in life ye were humble enough to see the very weakness before thee. For did Moroni and the other servants of greatness know of their strength in their weakness? Not always. For I have heard their crys unto Me and have given them the same arm of support in their weakened times. For I knew their hearts, as I know thine, and in this ye are blessed. So therefore breathe into thy weakness and allow the magnitude of strength to be expressed; and in this ye will find thy way and be free of the avoidance of hiding.
Therefore My son, continue to come unto Me, in thy very words of Ether, and allow the veil to fall away and receive Me as I am. Blessings unto thee, My son, as ye continue to battle the very conflict before thee.”
November 24, 2016 Thursday Thanksgiving
I woke up this morning and did one of my favorite things… reading in bed without the pressure of work. I just completed reading the last chapter of Moroni of my long journey of reading the Book of Mormon. I was contemplating the inspired work and testament, and as I closed the thick book of scripture, I came across the page with the inscription of the gift (my sister had given it to me), and it read… “To W. at Thanksgiving, as I counted my blessings you are among them. Love, N. Thanksgiving 2004.” I wept in gratitude of a faithful sister, merciful Heavenly Father, and the love and wisdom of Christ. I am truly thankful today for a twelve year journey that has brought me to the ending chapters of the Book of Moroni.
December 1, 2016 Thursday (5:23 am)
I just woke up before my alarm and heard, “Write My son and I will bless thee.” I have some concern of not getting enough rest because of my heavy work schedule, but continuing to breathe for the Spirit and clarity…
“Yes My son, I would speak with thee that ye may know the wisdom of My heart, and know the wishes of My mind. And in this is the word of wisdom and knowledge. For ye wonder of the workings of all things and as ye read that the mysteries would be opened, and I say unto you, ‘Have not the wisdoms been opened that ye would be understanding the beginnings of self? And as ye begin to understand this then ye begin to understand Me, and My ways, and My thinkings that ye might know the mind of God.’ For as ye begin to understand these things, and trust, and accept that which has been given then ye will be able to receive more unto thy understandings. For can ye build and increase without a foundation? For in this ye begin to know the framework in which all mystery are supported. For as ye know these things then ye will understand the laws that govern all things. For ye thinketh that all is of Me, but the wisdoms of All That Is is from beginning to beginning and is one eternal round, which has no beginning and no end. For that which exists, existed before Me, and it is through Me that these things exist now. For even in this ye must expand thy mind to comprehend and know to understand. For as ye step from thy earthly existence then ye will begin to see with an understanding of the eternities. For now it is for thee to prepare; humble thyself, and prove thy heart and thy mind that ye might receive more. And in this is an increase of light, and as ye increase in light then the wisdoms of understanding is opened unto thee. For this is the process of all learning. Go forth, My son, and serve Me well for ye have earthly matters of work, but soon, very soon, ye will be of Me, and in Me, and in this will be thy increase of light and thy understandings will open wide. And ye will know that by an increase of light is the mind opened and the heart revealed unto the truth of all things. For ye thinketh that the mind is central in understanding, but it is the heart that is key to receiving these things. So open thy heart unto Me and I will open all things unto thee. For it is through Me that all things must pass, and it is of Me that I am your heart. As ye begin to understand, ponder these things and ye will begin to see the eternal nature of all things.
Peace unto thee, My son, as ye give yourself unto Me. For even as ye surrender, ye receive. Blessings for thy strength as ye know this, peace unto you.”
December 8, 2016 Thursday (6:48 am)
Just waking up and hearing, “Write My son, I would speak with thee.” I am exhausted due to the heavy holiday work schedule, but welcome the opportunity to hear the word of the Lord. Breathing for the Spirit and clarity…
“Yes, My son, I would speak with thee for thou art in the throws of exhaustion and trying to balance thy life and work, but as I observe, it is of great concern that the balance has tipped and thou art in great frustration with thy staff/co-workers; but it is in thee that must make the change and then the law of attraction will follow. For as ye are focused upon all that is going wrong, it is with this that ye begin to continually see the negative and it compounds onto it’s self and ye are surrounded in the mire that ye have been experiencing. So lift thy thoughts and attitude, and begin to experience life anew. Each day bringing its challenges and solutions; for ye must change the negativity into positivity to serve thee. For this goes against the human nature of experience, but as ye change this behavior it will begin to serve thee now and of that which will soon come. You ask how? And I say unto thee, ‘Lift thy thoughts unto light and see not through the darkness of negativity but through the positive thoughts of learning to overcome all obstacles placed before thee. Begin to see challenge as a positive, a teacher of learning, and as ye begin to see things through these eyes ye will begin to make the changes that will bring thee happiness again.’ For the negativity compounds upon its self and draws more negativity unto itself. Whereas light will beget light and will give a lightness of heart and mind.
Ye ask, ‘How do I begin?’ Yes, the negativity is a path of least resistance and it is much easier to follow. It is like trying to change the course of a rushing river, But I say, ‘Why be part of the river? But rise above the river and begin to be not a part of it. Instead of being part of the turbulence of the river, rise above and find thy own course and soon all else will follow.’ For yes, it takes practice and discipline but ye will find a happier life, and others around will experience more ease as ye begin to make the changes required to find happiness again. For upon this course your light is being diminished and the darkness is finding its way unto controlling thee. For positivity will win over the hearts of others around thee, and thus change the nature of all things. Yes, it is of more effort and discipline to be of a positive nature when there is negative experience after negative experience happening to thee. But begin to see the light of learning in each and ye will not desire to run but face anything straight on, and ye will be a teacher of light in a darkness that continues to surround thee. For it will soon seem as if there is only darkness in the world and that the light has lost unto the dark. But in this new way ye will be able to rise above unto the light and it will be the saving grace to save the mind and heart from breaking. For this is another way to come unto Me, light. For as the darkness gathers around thee, raise above and choose another way unto light. For choose not the darkness when that is the only thing visible, but find the new way of being which is not part of the turbulence, which is above the rushing waters of life. For life will continue to throw things at you, but rise above the experience and ye will be able to withstand the negativity of a raging water that can snap even the strong heart and mind. For live this new way of being and ye will find an easier and happier way before thee. So choose not the natural ease of least resistance and choose not to struggle within the turbulence, but rise above the experience into the light of a new experience. For this is not denial, which some might claim, but this is conscious choice of experience.
Therefore my son, live well, practice well and ye will be no more of a negativity that can rule a life unto misery. But ye will find the light in all things and in all ways, and ye will be anew. For ye will not find it as easy to be of light as the darkness surmounts around thee, but ye will be happier going through what appears negative as ye find thy way unto Me. For in the negativity of the natural man, it has no place in Mine realm. Practice well, My son, and begin to live again. Peace unto thee even in this.”
December 15, 2016 Thursday (6:37 am)
I was reading in the Doctrine and Covenants and as I was reading heard, “Write My son.” I am concerned because of my time schedule and some morning orders that to be designed for a timed delivery, but always willing to write for the Lord. I begin my breathing for the Spirit to flow…
“Yes My son, I know thy restrictions and thy timing, but as ye enter this day I bid thee to heed the voice of concern and warning. For thou art of a nature of exhaustion and in this ye must watch thy word and thy voice as ye are of a nature of temperament to say that which doth concern thy relationships. Censor thy tongue and in this ye will serve the whole of goodness. For as ye come upon situation after situation of frustration ye are beginning to weaken in thy word of temperance, and in this it will not serve thee. So bid thy voice and wait the timing of corrections and ye will know the wisdom of My counsel. Be of good cheer in knowing that My eye is upon thee. Serve well and receive the counsels of Heaven for thy wisdom and it will profit thee to thy wholeness. Blessings My son, blessings as ye receive My words of wisdoms.”
This next writing was inspired by a visit to an excommunicated brother of the church, in which the voice and counsels of the Lord speak out in loving truth. I truly feel that the Spirit led me to visit this brother and I might even now explain how this came to be before entering the writing.
I was in church yesterday and it was in Priesthood meeting that a distinguished, bearded man approached me and asked if I knew anything about the singles’ family home evening. I confessed that I didn’t know but I would make a text to someone that might. This man was a visitor to our ward, but didn’t have a chance to speak further as the lesson was starting. Well, it was after the lesson I let him know that I had not heard back with any information about the family home evening, and offered to call him with information if he wanted me to. He then informed me that he didn’t have a phone number as he was visiting from Canada, and I am still trying to figure out how we came to be separated without my finding out more about him. But it was with surprise and some unknown delight that I ran into him in the parking lot as I was getting ready to take the missionaries home. It seemed out of my nature but I voiced over some distance of the parking lot, “What brought you down from Canada?” As we walked the distance I could feel my calling kicking in… to welcome, serve and fellowship. As we all now stood together it seemed that the missionaries were bystanders as we conversed and I learned that he was down visiting his son. He continued to explain that his son had fallen away from the church, and as he spoke I could hear and feel his love and concern for his son’s well being. It was then that I offered to go visit and see if we could help with any needs. As I asked his son’s name, he said his name and I told him that his son’s name wasn’t familiar. I started to pull up the ward directory for information and it was then that he expressed, in another voice of sadness, that his son had been excommunicated and I wouldn’t find any information on him. He continued to tell his son’s story and it was when I heard him say, “My son isn’t homosexual, but has a hard time with the standing of the church on the homosexual issue.” It was then that I assured him that there is always hope, as I turned to the missionaries and him and said, “I normally don’t speak of my own personal struggle of being gay.” But I felt moved by the Spirit to mention of my own struggle, of being excommunicated, and my return. His spirit seemed to lift as I offered again to stop by and visit his son. As I was writing his son’s address down he said to me, “You must be the ward mission leader?” I admitted that I was and would feel honored to go visit his son. It was then that he opened his arms wide with an embrace, which surprised me because I just confessed to being gay. I guess my surprise tells me that I am still healing my own issues of other’s acceptance of me, as I could see from the embrace where his son found his loving concern for others. It was in the embrace that I voiced, “ This was not a chance meeting.” And as we let go we were both filled with the Spirit and emotion. It was then that he turned and began to walk away as I witnessed that he was overcome by his emotions, as I was trying to maintain my own composure. I turned to the missionaries and said, “I can feel him, a father’s love.” It wasn’t until after dropping off the missionaries, which I might mention the ride in the car was pretty quiet, that I found what I experienced in the embrace. I flashed on Lehi, from the Book of Mormon, his own fatherly concern for his wayward sons. As I drove the rest of the way home I felt profoundly touched by this feeling that I still carried from the embrace. A feeling that I will never have in this life. Yes, I might feel a concern like a father, but I now know the depth of a Father’s love.
The missionaries and I decided to go and visit his son’s address hoping to bring some fellowship to him, and to see if by chance his son was there with him. In that time between Sunday and Monday, a few pieces fell together as I remembered meeting, some months earlier, a young man, as I was welcoming him he confided to me that had been excommunicated. I assured him that he was welcome, and that had been a part of my journey also. So as that very same son, that I met in the church hallway, opened the door and welcomed us, as he turned to his father and said in a pleasant and welcoming tone “Here they are.” We all sat together and conversed with acquainting questions and answers until we finally arrived to the more important questions, his concern with the church. He is a lawyer, so he is very well spoken, and his intelligence shone through his comments and answers to our questions. He posed some very deep and questioning concerns which I had no answer to except by coming back to my witness of Spirit as I explained that we may not have all the answers, God’s ways are not ours, and that I still grapple with questions myself. I witnessed to what the Lord has shared with me, that the heart is more important than the mind and our goal in this life is to add light to ourselves. He, the son, had to leave and so we excused ourselves from our unannounced visit so he could be on his way. Before we left we offered a prayer and his father had us exchange phone numbers, in which he seemed to genuinely want some more conversation and voiced interest in hearing more of what I have to share.
After dropping off the missionaries, which were more again bystanders because of the subjects being out of their experience… but as I drove home I thought of Korihor in the Book of Mormon and the error of his ways having been deceived by the adversary. It was at home as I continued to reflect on the evening, and the son’s genuine spirit. But I decided to reread some of my past writings to deflect the deceptive spirit and seeds that were planted through the cunning of the adversary, it was then that this writing was given.
December 20, 2016 Monday (10:47 pm)
I was reading some past writings after returning from being with the missionaries to visit a man that was excommunicated from the church. A story that I will share after the writing because the Lord in His patience is waiting, as I just heard Him say for me to write. I am breathing for the Spirit and for a clarity of voice…
“Yes My son, I bid thee to write the words that are spoken unto thy heart and thy mind. For as ye reached out to the brother of opposition, so it is that ye have seen the work of he who fights against Me; and in seeing this ye have heard the cry of a hurting heart that gravitates unto him, as the heart is hardened unto the counsels of Spirit. For as ye have witnessed such a hardening, ye now know the distance traveled between thee and Me, and in this great divide ye have seen the opening of thy heart, and in this opening, ye have been a witness of self opening in obedience and love. For it is of this that all will be judged. For as a man/woman come unto Me it is then that the mercy is revealed and manifested. For it is the heart that speaks the truth of being, in Heaven and earth, and it is My love that seals the heart unto Me. Oh ye that suffer from a hardened heart, ye must leave the mind of corruption and dwell in the heart of love to heal thy heart and know Me again. Oh ye that have shut the light of truth and hear only the whispers of the evil one, that corrupts and whispers half truths to lead the mind away. And it is in this that ye remember not the oath and covenant that have been spoken in My house. For surly ye have raised thy arm unto Me and have spoken such promise, and yet he hath an oath of lies that giveth no promise and no reward. So treasure up not the thinkings of lies and half truths, but treasure up the truth of a heart devoted unto Me. For it is in this that ye will come before Me in judgment and I will hear thy plea and know thee not. For know Me today in thy heart and let thy judgments be revealed to one that knoweth only love. For in a righteous judgment is the heart of love made worthy and purified. Seek ye not the words of man but the love of God, which hideth in an aching heart of love to be revealed. Loose not thy goodness to the hatred of the evil one, but seek to cast out and down thy contempt, and be free. Oh man of My heart, remember Me still and be cleansed anew. Oh My son, cast off and out that which is a lie and I will show thee the truth and way, of which I am.
Peace unto thee My son, as ye fight the sleep of a weakened body. Sleep well and sleep strong for thy well being. Blessings unto thee, who speaketh My word.”
December 29, 2016 Thursday (12:05 pm)
I was just praying for forgiveness of my many weakness and asking for strength to overcome, as I heard, “Write, yes, I would speak with thee.” I quickly gathered paper and pen as I can feel my third eye activated and my emotions are starting to flow as I can feel a great love fall upon me. Praying for a clear path for the words to flow…
“Oh My son, I weep with thee as ye feel My love, and in this great faith ye are blessed. For what manner of heart prays continually for forgiveness, when there is no wrong to be forgiven? But a heart that seeks My presence. Oh My son, ye seek Me and in this is the true desire of a love fulfilled. For as ye seek this, My love, it is then that I can open unto thee all that I have, for I know thy heart and thy grace. For even as ye continue to prove this unto Me, it is in this proving that ye will be made like unto Mine angels of proven loyalty, and worth, and patience. For even as ye know that which is soon upon all nations, ye know of such a slightness that ye can bear such a weight. For even as Mine angels await they stand ready and prepared in My love. For it is in this that they know the truth of all things… that a war is soon waged in Heaven and earth. For even now ye fight for strength. Know this, My son of the morning, that ye will stand strong as the waves of darkness continue to wash over the earth and show that which is light. Burn bright, burn clear, and hold thy mark. For clearly the forces of evil know thee and mount against thee the darkness of lies, and it is in this that the evil one will wage his battle. For it is in these very realms of mind that he wins many unto him. But as I have said time and again, ‘Stay in thy heart.’ Know Me in this and ye will have the forces of light to back thee up. For was not last night a witness unto this? Did not the strangeness of thought show thee the war waged? For heed not such strange thinkings as ye know thy witness time and again. For as ye continue to seek, surrender and come before Me it is in this meekness that ye will not only find thy strength, but find thyself. For what manner of heart comes before Me in this confession of weakness without knowing thy strength? For even as ye begin to walk paths of righteousness ye will walk amongst the angels of light and ye will still wonder of the truth of such things revealed. But know that this is not of man, but of a Heaven opened wide to reveal the truth of existences unseen. For what manner of heart is this? But one of great love that stretches beyond the self and into the eternities of man and Heaven.
Behold, all revealed in time, but for now know thy strength and know thyself that the attacks will be of little consequence. Oh My, Beloved son, know these things and know My love that binds thee to the Heavens, and in this ye are blessed. Go forth unto thy day and know the love of God is upon thee, and in this is the reward of such devotion. For behold, the armies of Heaven await to join all such hearts who stand ready. Stand clear, stand strong and know that I am near.”
Just a note…
Last night I was exhausted, my body still trying to recover form the stresses placed on my mental, emotional and physical states from the weeks of the holiday pressure. So I allowed myself to watch some television and as I watched and dozed, I woke from a sleep and decided to go to bed. But as I woke I could feel a strangeness, like a distance from myself. I was doubting all of my experiences of Heaven, with thoughts of self-fabrication. This mental state was so thick that I even found it hard to say my bedtime prayers and asked for forgiveness as I gave up even trying to voice them, but still calling unto God as I fell asleep. And in this writing the Lord confirms the attacks waged and a need to stand strong. I pray that we saints everywhere will know our strength and hold our mark, as the Lord makes ready.