January 2, 2016 Saturday (12:04)
I was just kneeling in my bedtime prayer and as I was giving thanks I was told to write, so without finishing I got up and am beginning to breathe to help create the flow of connection…
“Yes, My son, I would speak with thee as ye are of a mind of gratitude, and having some lightness of thought, and of some jovial spirit; and in this ye are blessed to be of a lightness of heart and to be of good cheer. Be of this, and as ye mean no harm, ye are of the blessings of the Heavens. For as ye come unto Me, be of a goodness that none could doubt of whom thou art. Be of a goodness that builds people and loves people ye serve. Be ye therefore patient with the view of this and ye will be in the bosom yet of God. Know these things as ye are blessed and ye will be of the goodness of heart that knows love. Oh ye of the faith, know that a sour face is for those that are of a question of faith. And ye that are of the Spirit shine forth as ye love and serve. Oh blessed children, enjoy thy service and be of good cheer even as ye learn all things.”
Just a note… I came home from being out and working with the missionaries. As we were out visiting some families we started having some fun and having some lightness of spirit. So when I came home and knelt in my bedtime prayer I still had that lightness even as I prayed. And thus the Lord blessing my lightness of heart.
January 5, 2016 Tuesday (1:39 am)
I am just going to bed after falling asleep earlier in the evening. As I woke up I was full of energy so I re-packed my 72 hour kit into a new backpack, something I have been wanting to do for weeks. So going to bed late and while I was getting up from my knees, after my bedtime prayer I heard, “Write.” As I asked for confirmation, I immediately received, “Yes, write My son.” I am a little apprehensive because I have been in a slight or mild struggle for the last several days. I have been having feelings of unworthiness as I ask myself, “Am I fulfilling my callings?”, and “Am I being bold enough?” A couple of days ago the Lord lead me to a scripture in 3 Nephi of the Book of Mormon, as He was giving a sermon, after He descended from Heaven, He was speaking to the remaining people, after great destruction and He was teaching them about not hiding their light under a bushel… This is my continual struggle of how much do I share and reveal in my efforts to further His work, for us to believe and be prepared. This is hard for me because I fear the judgments of the church members and leaders, as they might think that I am just trying to build myself up. If they only truly knew me they would quickly realize that my natural nature is to hide. I get feeling so weighted down with my own expectations of responsibility, and this is where I have been the last few days. Well, more feelings of guilt as I am keeping the Lord waiting… breathing for the Spirit of clarity and His words…
“Oh yes, My son, I would speak with thee as ye struggle in thy worth, worth of self and worth of leadership/callings, as ye seek Me in thy diminished spirit and confidence. For as ye even wonder of thy worthiness and strength. Do ye not even know thy worth? Do ye not know thy gift cherished? Can ye not see that ye were gifted with such a gift because of thy worth? For how many people hear, as ye hear Me speak? How many saints know My word, even as ye? For ye Question and I say unto thee, ‘Behold the truth of thy glory.’ Can ye not see the robes of shining white? And ye know that is, what is to be, and ye have even witnessed this ‘future self’ in his glory and worthiness. Even thy wounded child became of a submission into pain because of this very view.
Oh My son of the morning, that is of a wounded doubt. Ye question thy worth and in this ye are buffeted. For the very jaws of hell open for thee, wanting thee, and it is because of thy humble prayer of asking for purification and strength that allows Me to open and come unto thee. For My son know this, that ye are loved and is it not because of thy very worth that the Heavens are unveiled? So cast off thy doubt and look to the Heavens, and feel the light of love radiate the truth of thee and thy calling. Cast off the buffetings of threat as, he who fights against Me, uses his tricks of fear to distract thee. For ye know the truth of this as ye are being accustom of the buffetings of showmanship as he insights fear and disturbance. Ye now know of his ways, and ye are left to wonder as his minions poke at thee and chide thee with the barbs of worth and doubt. For thy know your weakness and the most vulnerable of thy soul to catch thee off guard and throw thy balance, to even deter thy work. For even tonight as ye were looking to Spirit for the blessing, did not the Spirit come forth in thy love for the dear sister. For the mind can be buffeted , but the heart knows the truth of such a love. For allow the light of thy worth to shine through as ye know the truth of what is to be. For let thy robes shine brightly as a beacon to this very self that is in the mists of turmoil. See he who stands strong before thee and know the truth of such a gift. Shine brightly My son and guide thyself home. So be of good cheer as ye are in the very pressure of the refining that makes thee shine even as a diamond; from carbon to light and from dust to perfection. Ye are mine and I claim thee, with the very doubt that causes thee to wonder. Fear not My son and love again, and as ye do thy light will dispel the very darkness that is come for thee. Shine brightly My son, shine. Shine for him that is even you.”
Just to let you know… in this writing there was mention of the blessing of a ‘dear sister.’ This woman and her husband that just moved here seeking refuge after losing everything in the Nepal earthquake. She was sick and so the Elders and myself went over and gave her a priesthood blessing. As I was blessing her the Spirit was present and His words were spoken. Also when the Lord is speaking of my ‘future self’ He is referring to an earlier experience where my future self, dressed in priesthood robes of white, came to me and administered to me. Since that experience the Lord has referred to it on several occasions as a source of strength for me. And as he was mentioning the child of my youth, he is speaking of another earlier experience recorded in the blog, I was working with a part of the abused child that had split off, that I was trying to get reunited with myself. The child was adamantly resisting going back into the pain of his childhood, and as I was struggling to make this union, the Lord appeared and took the young boy by the hand and led him to a short distance where I saw the Lord kneel beside my little boy and pointing towards the view my future. It was then, that part of me willingly submitted to the very pain that made him split off and leaving me fragmented.
I am so very thankful for the Heavens and Their continued patience, love and support as I am growing into those shining priesthood robes.
January 9, 2016 Saturday (7:00 am)
I woke up before my alarm and as I was reaching and turning off my alarm I quietly whispered thanks to the Father, in which I heard, “Write My son.” I am breathing for clarity of the Spirit…
“Oh My son, I hear your prayer of hope for the Spirit of clarity and the flow of My words and I say unto thee, ‘Fear not and be of a strength of knowing that the love of God is upon you and for you even in your weakness of strength and focus.’ For ye are still learning the discipline of mind, the heart is still upon Me even as ye are in fear of thy weakness. For as you continue to grow unto Me ye will grow into a strength of each. Press on My son and ye will be blessed with the strength that ye desire. Fear not your lack of focus, for even as ye experience this lack ye know not the unseen about thee giving thee influence of confusion and strength. For the forces of good, and of he who fights against Me are both pulling for thee. And in this is the focus made weak, and in this weakness ye have support. For continue to be of a heart that desires Me and ye shall be made strong in thy devotion.
For My son can ye not see how all is working for the favor of My work? Can ye not see the beauty of the word and the work coming forth into fruition? Even as ye get work that ye have desired ye have an element of dysfunction that wants to deny and downplay the fruition, when people are involved. A part of that same internal part that does not feel fully satisfied to win at games with others. Beware of this and discredit not the Spirit and will manifested to the hopes of wanting to save another. For as ye begin to see that all is working for the greater good ye will be less apt to fall into such a mindset of thy past. Can ye not see the hand of God working to fulfill the desires of service? So be ye therefore joyful and know the beauty of thy service. For as ye continue to be a mouthpiece of service, ye will grow into thy strength and be ye therefore strong in thy convictions. For ye are still young in thy growth and service, and ye are still managing the weaknesses of thy youth as they come into interference. But be strong and know that they will dissipate, in time, as ye have experience upon experience of that which is building, even that which will seem as an opposition will build thee in character and strength. Be ye therefore strong and focused unto Me and ye will be given the word and the way and in this ye will be blessed. So press forward in an attitude of strength and let the humbleness that still clothes thee in ash cloth be ever present, that ye might know the balance of thy strength. For blessed art the meek and humble even as they are in the strength of their selves made pure. And blessed art thee, My son, that ye should be of both that ye might serve thy Lord and God, the Master of All, even Jesus Christ. Oh blessed son be of good cheer, even as ye face that which ye fear, the speaking of My word to the peoples of thy community. For even in this ye shall be made strong. Therefore focus on Me and ye shall be blessed with the strength of Spirit. For see ye this that all things work for the goodness of man and the work to glorify the Father through this glorious work of redemption and salvation. Be ye of good cheer and know that ye are blessed.”
January 12, 2016 Tuesday (5:19 am)
I woke up in a half state of consciousness with random thoughts floating through my mind. As I was in this stupor I heard a clear, “Write, My son, I would speak with thee.” I questioned after going back into that semi-conscious state and then coming back out I heard again, “Yes, write.” As I write this the fog is lifting from my mind as I begin to breathe and pray for the Spirit. Breathing for the flow to begin…
“Oh blessed son, I come unto thee to whisper My love and to say unto thee, ‘Thy prayers for thy fellow servants have been answered.’ For My love is about them as they settle into their new callings. For as they serve Me with their hearts I send forth Mine angels and Spirit to abide with them. For this love which ye and My servant felt is the love of the Heavens, and ye were blessed to have such a love that binds and blesses the souls to feel of such a compassion. For with this is the bond of brotherhood felt, and with this is the link into the eternities; blessed are you both to feel of such.
Oh My son, as ye have prayed for forgiveness and direction concerning your anger towards your employee. Asking if it was justified and I say unto thee, ‘There is righteous admission of disappointment, and there is an anger of the emotions that is flared of the past unspoken resentment, and it unto these that I speak.’ For as ye are of the fire of anger I say unto thee, ‘The fire that erupts is because of the combined intentions of resentment.’ For as ye feel the cause as employer and she feels the cause as employee, both with unspoken resentments, that have been unspoken and are now being acted upon and acted out. For as she is of a nature to not speak her truth and you also are of the same nature to have peace abide. Can you now not see the wake of the unspoken, which is manifested into the actions of omission? Oh ye that speak not thy frustration, it is come unto this. For you were asking is your anger justified and I say unto you, ‘Yes. And is anger the way of teaching of the Spirit? And I would say, ‘Nay.’ For anger is the product of feelings of abuse or of a responsive protection of being violated on many levels. Therefore anger is explosive and responsive, and in this the Spirit does not reside. So be ye therefore careful to justify thy anger. Anger is the unidentified feelings of the past that comes into play in the mind and the emotions. For as ye feel this, it is mixed into the emotional field of a combined union. For she knows thy triggers and she is aware of her power, and in this is the unhealthy played out between both she and thyself. For even now ye wonder of a resolution and I say, ‘It is difficult to achieve such because there needs to be a level of honesty, which is hard to achieve in the workplace. So fear not, My son, ye have not this to endure long for ye are of the thinkings of a hell of the mind. And I say unto thee, ‘Endure this thing and ye will be blessed unto the outcome. Be strong in this for it is of a wisdom to disengage as the fire appears and be of a quiet nature of this to be an achieved blessing. Trust, My son, in these words and then ye will know peace. So endure this buffeting and ye will find the blessing. For behold thy blessing of hope is soon upon thee. Return, My son, to the love of the Spirit and reside in this, for in this ye can know the love and peace of God. For be of a split and reside in this and allow the situations of life to flow as ye abide in Me.
Blessed art thou son, even in thy anger and these feelings of justification. For your heart wants resolve over revenge. Be therefore of a clearness of action and ye will not fall into the trap before thee. See the buttons that are pushed and walk away. For ye will soon see the way made clear. Blessings, My son, be at peace, and know ye are loved.”