In His goodness and mercy, our dear Savior, met me in the thickets of life. As I wandered as the maverick valuing my freedom above everything else, it was only through His love, with His hand extended, that I began to follow Him. Experience upon experience was given to me, and I began to look to Him and leave my former life behind. For how could one turn away from the sweet taste of the fruit of His love? For at this point, I thought I had it all: the undeserving love of my Master, a continuing relationship with the Heavens and my freedom! It was here, that I heard His call, a message that was sent with such clarity and presence. Little did I know or even desire, that as I followed His lead, that I would be standing here at the corral again. The Heavens opened and beaconed to me… to enter. Passages of the New Testament speak of this narrow gate and now it was before me, and with trepidation and the assurance of the message sent, the maverick entered.
It is now only a couple of years after taking that leap of faith and following the counsel of Heaven to enter, and to my surprise there is a vastness within the corral. A vastness, which can stretch into eternity. For the Heavens continue to open and reveal mystery upon mystery as the Lord furthers my healing, until in time, there is nothing left to stand between He and I.
And it is here that I would like you to know that the yoke is light, because of those very angels that helped deliver me through my parent’s front door, for their continued words of love and reassurance that has given me strength and belief, and most of all for the love of my Whisperer and Lord, Jesus Christ, He who cares enough to call out to the untamed and gift, this maverick, with true freedom.
December 2, 2012 Sunday morning
I am being told to write, but I’m resisting, because of feelings of unworthiness.
“Come unto Me,” keeps repeating all morning, as a series of events have brought me into my heart again. Some may call it a creation of my mind, a coincidence and yet with each event was a leading to this place, a return to the pen and my heart. I am not sure what to believe and what I do NOT want to believe. What I have learned to trust and be a barometer of my truth has been present through my body energy, jolts, heart emotions; and I am still in question… either I divorce myself of what I have learned to trust or I must trust in my experiences. A crossroad of faith, the same crossroads that I have been at many times over; the crossroads of fear, expectation and submission. If I trust my experiences, it is a series of events to lead me to an open heart.
Waking this morning and being in the ‘mists of Lehi’, a mental place of uncertainty and fear, wanting to hide from life, when I happened onto Joel Olsten’s television broadcast. He preached on the ‘spoken word’ and how it is better to be in silence rather than to speak our negativity into creation. A place I have been, as of late, and his message was a glimmer in the mists of my mind. In changing the channel I then happened onto a BYU program, ‘The Joseph Smith Papers’ and as I heard the words and teachings my heart opened further and I could feel my body start to charge up with energy, as it does when I can sense Spirit present. It was then that I caught a glimmer of an image standing in my room, a knowingness of sight, it was Joseph Smith. As I write this I feel crazy … am I making this up? But why would I even want this! As I saw and felt the presence of Spirit I heard him say, “Come unto Me, saith the Lord.” And my body jolted with energy and I heard myself cry out (whether verbally or in my mind I am not sure), “No, oh no!” Not wanting this experience, because with it I interrupted will come a road of submission for which I am not wanting or ready. I am ashamed to say that I turned from the experience and tried to return to the television when I heard the message continue to repeat, “Come unto Me.” I was now wanting and resisting at the same time as I threw my thoughts into the next programmed series, “The Life of Christ” as I listened to BYU scholars tell of Jesus and his baptism by John the Baptist. They spoke in depth of John the Baptist’s message of repentance, which in ancient Latin means “to return”, return to the ways of God, as I still heard in the back of my mind, “Come unto Me.” My heart and emotions continued to flow as I listened to the scholars and the words of Joseph. Opening my mind and heart, but still in resistance as the program ended. I then turned to the next channel and it was Michael Buble` in concert, as he sang a song about returning to home. I continued to move into my emotions and my heart opened, and the emotions that I had been trying to avoid flowed openly. I let the tears stream, and I was open once more with a desire to listen. It is then I heard, “Write … The tide of time…” I searched for pen and paper, and now here I am writing this and clearing the way for what is ready to come forth, as I can feel Spirit waiting…
“The tide of time has flowed over the banks of what you call reality, and it is he that lived and lives that bore the truth of He that reigns. Yes even I, Joseph, have come unto you to bear witness of He that knoweth all things and calls you unto Him. It is He that also called me, and it is He that now calls you. Your struggle is the same as the boy of New York, one of spirit, one of confidence, and one of fortitude. You struggle with the earthly realm and the dealings therein … do you not think that I struggled? Do you not think that I was afraid and even wanted to turn away and hide? For what man or woman of faith and a calling has not doubted the calling, has not doubted themselves? For you have tried to hide, and it is the same Lord that called unto your Mother and Father in the Garden, in their nakedness, and it is the same Lord that sees yours. Your sins cannot hide you or that which you fear. Your nakedness is seen, and still you are called to return. Yes to repent, return home to He that loves you beyond measure that knows of your weakness and cherishes your strengths. You have hidden in the shadows of fear long enough. It is now time to step from the shadows of hiding as the man you are called to be. To step from being a boy of fear and to a warrior of spirit, to step into that role that has long awaited you at this time and in this dimension. He that calls you son, calls you to Him, and He now calls forth the programming of this warrior to come forth with the words of truth and the action of God.
You even question now and I say unto you, “Question not, He who gives you life, breath, and the days upon the earth. Question not the warrior you are and question not your understandings.” You, who have waited to come forth in the battle of life, have come forth to bear witness of that which is and that which is to come. You cannot hide. You cannot be a boy of fear. You cannot let another do what is to come. For I have come to say, “Come unto Me” and as you come unto Him, the Lord of All Creation, you come unto the Father.
Fear not my brother, and pick up the yoke that is before you and your burden will be light. For the Angels of Heaven will guide you and help carry that which is too heavy, for he that endureth all things and delights in the way of the Lord. All will be shown unto you. Trust in the Lord and all things will manifest and be made possible.
Our love and blessings are upon you even as you are in your weakness, ‘Come to Me’, even so.”